Dear Mom (And Dad),

 The other day after reading my blog post about the impact Kendrick's performance had on me, my mother gave me her review as usual. She said that she really liked the post and that it was very well written. She was proud. That's such a great feeling. She then playfully added "It seems like you're inspired and moved by rappers all the time. Maybe if I want to have an impact on you I have to start a rap career. I guess your parents are chopped liver." We both laughed, it was a funny moment. But at that very moment I knew I would write something for her. Not to validate the impact that they've had on me, she's well aware of that. But it's nice to be able to reiterate and share that feeling. The only issue is that it's nearly impossible to encompass the impact my parents have had on me with but a mere blog post. No role model or influence in my life can even begin to compare to my parents. I idolize them in just about every way imaginable. I hope to one day achieve success as they have. To declare what I want and go get it as they have. They define the "relationship goals" everyone seems to be so caught up in today. People look up to celebrity couples just for being celebrities. I've lived with actual relationship goals for 21 years. They probably have no idea how much attention I'm paying, but I'm taking notes. I hope to be even half as great at parenting as they've been when I have children of my own. I've never taken them for granted, even at a young age I knew I had great parents and I appreciated that. When I was in 4th grade I was one of three kids on my bus who lived with both parents and I knew that meant a lot. But although I never took them for granted, the appreciation I had back then pales in comparison to how I feel now. The more I grow up, the more I understand the magnitude of what they've done/they do for me. I appreciate them for the simple fact that home has always been safe, even when I didn't want to be here. For the constant love and support, even though I was a chronic underachiever. I always knew that I could count on my parents. If a teacher was giving me problems at school I knew my mom would be face to face with whoever she felt she needed to speak to within one business day. My parents always had my back and they've always been by my side. Between getting older and watching how they raise my brother, I'm able to look back and see that even more clearly. For instance, when I was nine years old I randomly decided I wanted to play baseball. I was already playing basketball and football at the time and my dad was heavily invested in both. He had never played real baseball a day in his life. But as soon as I decided I wanted to play he signed me up and got me all of the equipment I would need, and a baseball glove for himself so he could practice with me. He went online and looked up drills that I could do. The next day we went to the park and he taped a box onto a fence, had me stand however many feet away little league regulation was at the time, and throw into the box until the sun went down. After about a week of doing various drills and him teaching me things he was just learning himself, I went to tryouts and the coach thought I'd been playing for years. I only played baseball for a year (Didn't have time due to basketball). My dad probably hasn't even said the word baseball in ten years. And it took me all of that time to realize that he became passionate about it simply because I wanted to do it. That's just the way my parents are and have always been. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that there isn't anything they wouldn't do for my brother and I. So mom, it's not that I don't see the love you've always had for me and understand the impact. And just because I'm not home as much doesn't mean I don't know that's where the heart is. I simply had to leave the nest to find my wings. I needed space and time to see and become the person that you always knew I was. I never believed you when you told me I was special. I thought moms were just supposed to say that. But looking back I see that you guys were always right all along about (almost) everything. I rarely speak on your impact because there are truly no words for it. I'm forever indebted for the values you instilled in me. You made me who I am, and I'm just learning to love myself. A wise man once said "There's no way I can pay you back, but my plan is to show you that I understand." And see that one line is quite key, I guess I can thank a rapper for that. But every time I go out to eat I thank you for teaching me to put the napkin on a my lap, those long nights as a kid with the nebulizer when I had asthma attacks or in high school when I had spasms and you held the pads on my back. I remember it all, even things you'd think I'd never seen. So I would like to take this chance to thank you, for everything. For believing I could fly, even before I found my wings.

And to anyone else who's still reading this, I guess the message here is to let someone know what they mean to you, even if it's understood. It never hurts to hear it and you may even make someone's day. There are few better feelings than being appreciated. The photo below is a text from Julian Levy, the smartest kid I've ever met who just so happens to not be a kid anymore. It made my day the other day because he was right, you really never know. So give someone that feeling. Go ahead, let them know. Spread that love.

#LetEmKnow2016

(He corrected typos shortly after btw)

- Swaggy T

To Escape A Cocoon

Never had I found myself moved to the point where I had no choice but to remain completely still. It's just amazing how the power of a moment allowed someone chained by shackles to capture my attention. It's as if I was seeing the light as I realized the weight of the moment. With every changing scene and each word of every verse the light became more apparent as the situation grew heavier. This feeling was so new to me, so unfamiliar that I felt the need to verify it by watching the performance a second time as soon as possible. I happened to be among familiar company as I was beside myself once again. I confirmed what I originally declared immediately after watching the first time... Kendrick Lamar's Grammy performance was the greatest and most powerful moment I've ever witnessed. That's not an exaggeration nor an overreaction. I can't think of any other moment where I understood so much while being so overwhelmed. For one man to use a platform to reach a national audience, grab their attention and force them to listen to what they don't want to hear with such vigor and unwavering confidence & conviction (pun intended) was awe inspiring to say the least. I have no shame in saying I shed a tear. I honestly felt like the weight of that moment spoke directly to me and I'm sort of writing this just to see if I'm the only one who felt this way. This performance said so much, so clearly but it really showed me the importance of standing up for what you believe in.

Marching to the beat of your own drum with no regard for the repercussions. Playing your game with no concern of pushing buttons.

When all are hearing a story that only one can tell... Don't worry about what you do as long as you've done it well. Give everything your best you, and nothing else. Those who hate tend to love you until you love yourself. I caught the magic in every word like it was a spell, as Kendrick told 50 million he was done with 12. So there it is, love yourself, Love you. You can't control it, some don't like it, some do. So you may be in some heat if you shine like the sun too. On your brightest days they'll try to throw water through your sunroof, but life's a two seater you can't make everyone comfortable. That's life. Some win, some lose. But don't quit, if you don't play then you can't choose. So as he stood up on that stage and he spit, it meant something. If you only take what they give, you get nothing. No need to talk, just stay low and plan your moves. Cause when you show them instead of telling they can't assume. Cause the more that you say, the more they'll speak their rumors, if you've got nothing to show, they'll keep assuming. So when you give them your heart, be sure to bleed profusely. Always strive to be the best you, and keep improving. Don't look back when you make a move, just keep it moving. They say the caged bird sings, but they couldn't hear us crooning. So will you choose to spread your wings, or keep cocooning?

                - Swaggy T