This is only because I made a promise. To keep it a hundred,
sometimes I hate I'm honest. I've got to tell you the truth cause I never lie.
Lately I'm so numb to it all, I'm petrified. A collection of verses. I pose a
question on purpose. Deciding to do this and my only regret that I'm nervous.
Rejecting the serpent who told me to accept that I'm worthless. And I've just
had so much to say since when I said I was wordless. So I'm here to speak,
consider Swaggy back. Yeah it's me, you see the bag attached. I wish I could
focus. Attention span that slipped as I wrote this. I shift for a moment, into
my deepest thoughts. I've been quiet for so long I really need to talk. I
fought those demons off me now I fight to keep em off. Tossing punchlines like
I'm sizing up a speed bag. Paint a picture, time is up, where the cheese at? I
take a break and enter my mind with a ski mask. This is a heist cause it's full
of a gems. I look at life through a fuller lens. And when I write, I feel full
again.
Shoulders hurt but there's a weight lifted. My circle close,
it ain't no shapeshifting. I know some swore we would remain winless. I know
some stories got the same villains. So I know I can't let no snakes get in.
Don't turn my back, but watch like Lane Kiffin. Triple entendre, don't even ask
me, owl. If you ain't heard about me you should probably ask around. I bet they
haven't heard either. That absurd tweeter. Throw a couple lines and try to
capture all readers. Wrote hooks in my notebooks. Throwaways like a no look. So
amazing and so shook. Throwing flames as the flow cooks. It's really love if
you've read. Been spending months in my head. And I've had so much to get off
me, and still nothing was said.
A burden like no other I carry, it's quite a handful. I'm a
terrible big brother, I've failed as an example. I dropped the ball, and my
parents threw it perfectly. When I say no more looking back it's really cause
it hurts to see. I was out so scared and lost my parents had to search for me.
Sebass called my mom and said I'm safe, that was her first of sleep. Took a
couple L's in life but that by far my worst defeat. Sick and tired spitting
fire, this is an emergency. No vitamins, invite em in. My heart says speak your
mind again. Looking in the mirror and I'm asking where the writer's been.
Rhymes come off the head first, start it up I'm diving in. Flow so deep and
wavy I don't even really write, I swim. Give life to pen like life depends.
Starting to see I'm nice again. I gotta hit the mic again, that's money I don't
like to spend. Don't know if I'm finished or I might begin, I'm on a roll.
Entendres never straying far. Life's a movie, play your part. Counted particles
while waiting on the scars to close. Logically it takes some extra time to heal
a heart of gold. Weighing every decision thinking "how would it shape
me?" Love is scary cause I gave someone the power to break me. Can't make
it part of the plans to put my heart in your hand if I think you would leave it
crumbled up and tossed in the can. Yet simultaneously inspired by the thought
of a chance. If taken correctly could save and protect me from being so full of
it saying I'm empty. Accounts I'm not checking, my savings is empty. I'm so far
from balling, I'm saving up pennies. No not really, I flip em and make a wish
in the air. Glass is half full, I'm thankful that my vision is clear. I did
nothing but look at everything I did in a year. Turn-em-in in March, gave a
view of all the madness. Lost my mind, and everybody knew I didn't have
it.
Love is a drug and I was overdosing. When I was broke and
broken and them ghosts had broke in. Demon burglars that mean to murder ya. And
reduce you to a state where no one's seen or heard of ya. But relax, I'm far
from relapse. Respawned in rehab. Respond to me, laugh. Special place in my
heart for Sebass. It's hard to be sad. Am I over it or overcompensating? I've
gotta move on because time is wasting. Learning to manage it and maintain. I'm
only looking back to change lanes. Opened the window to my soul as I
explained pain. Sometimes I wish my head was clear. I lost my mind, it's
everywhere. I be thinking about the days that caused my mother to cry, while
coming up with a handshake for my brother and I. Swaggyspeaks, and
this is what he does every time. He just starts putting every single thing he
loves into rhyme. The game of life is dope and he just shuffles through lines.
Insane he writes in hope that he'll uncover a sign. And when you ask him for
forgiveness he just doesn't decline. To be honest my life's a movie that I'd
love to rewind. First and third person, the second one is tough to define.
Cause that's on you. If I said it you know that's all true. And I was really
going through it then but that's all through. And that's all me. I gave you
real and that's all free. Cause I ain't ever really been the type to tack on
fees. Said back off please, and still you sent attacks on me. I never fronted
but you were quick to turn your back on me. But now I've captured your
attention and it's back on me. And you're surprised that you ain't even leave a
scratch on me. I guess you stare cause you're in awe of the climb. It was an
uphill battle, I was caught up in time. The problem, when I start writing I get
lost in my mind. You heard about it, started reading, now you're all in this
rhyme. As I establish a connection that got lost in the lines, I'm out here
battling deception like I'm Optimus Prime. Playing my cards carefully, passing
and no looking. A spade a spade, I extended my hand. Don't push me.
I know when gifted with your presence I can rap fire. So I
put 20 in the tank on a bad tire. And made my way to you, just to share a space
with you. Cause through it all i know your love is real so I feel safe with
you. So much to say I don't know where to begin. I should do this carefully.
You were there for me and still you're here for me. Through transparency it's
clear to see you truly care for me. When I was crying out for help and ain't
know who was there for me, you helped me get through the moments that were too
embarrassing. I love you for that, eternally. You'll never know what it's worth
to me. Shouldering the pain when I just should go get the surgery. You showed
me when you stayed that my love wasn't too burdening. And I needed that. I've
got a gift, I need to rap. Trying to refocus cause I've been having trouble
seeing that. You say you hope I find some inspiration and ironically, your
desire to see me inspired is what inspires me. Out of bars, looks like you
helped me to set the writer free.
Staring down their sights and waiting for you to blink. Lose
it in sound Shaun, you're safer than you would think. Gated community gave me
immunity. NRA views and they aiming to ruin me. I know the truth so I'm praying
for you and me. Cause I know there's no change without unity. They got me in
chains, what'd they do to me? Can't rap about going to Jacob for jewelry. Not
one for bluffing, that's fake and that's foolery. My wallet like Foster's Home,
saving up stupid Cheese. Gotta thank God when Shane gets home from school at 3.
Far from facade, if I say it it's true to me. If you're listening thank you for
the opportunity. Searching for answers, got lost and it ruined me. 9 months of
silence so talking feels new to me. Myself, no matter how awkward and goofily.
Your ear means the world, you don't know what you do for me. Break myself down
just to offer you two of me. This verse so sick made him cough,end the eulogy.
(Cough in/coffin/cough, end)
Life's a bitch, and I'm sorry for cussin'. Sleep left me
cause I couldn't get my mind off her cousin. My mind is in great shape, it
constantly goes running. I was struggling everyday but I'm off that, Joe
Budden. 10 toes down, every toe's got a Paul Bunyan. Lately I've just been
chasing my tale but I've told nothing. Swaggyspeaks but it's sure been a while
since he wrote something. It baffles me how they could leave teachers with no
funding, then cut a check for 67 million to throw guns in. We're living in a
reality that's tough to believe. Where lives take a backseat to corruption and
greed. This is just what I'm thinking as I sit by the pool. I want to shed a
tear for every kid at that school. Living nightmare, living right there. Not
hidden, my fears. I'm sick for my peers, sometimes I just wish the system was
fair. It's all about a dollar, that's never gonna change. I was lovesick,
writing letters to the game. Valentine's Day in my city won't ever be the same.
Caught up and rambling, my mind retracts to the tragedy. Pardon my tangents,
I'm trying to weave a masterpiece. My thoughts are scrambling, that's always
been what's distracting me. Self doubt creeping in, look in the mirror asking
me "You said I had a gift, now I'm wondering if rap's for me."
Welcome to dope in its purest form, I'm cooking up lines. I've been writing
this for 2 months, it took up my time. I swear every single day I write a book
in my mind. Not as lost as I once was, but still looking for signs.
Reporting live from Brendon's passenger seat. Trying to
focus on one of the distractions I see. But currently Curren$y's rapping to me.
And I'm trying to ignore the fact I'm having to pee. A year ago today I thought
I was in my happiest week. And I'll forever be impacted by what happened to me.
So why not make it positive? Thankful that I got to live. Statements of the
obvious. Take it, what you got to give? Take it, what you got to lose? A chance
that is. Fighting my demons, I put them all on canvases. And when it clicks I
start healing like a Kansas kid. Heart of a lion, got lost in the silence. I
need to make a drastic change in how often I'm writing, these bars are
confining. Get lost and come find them. Got the juice with these Punch lines,
each bar a piña colada. And my shoulders don't work but I'ma swing if i gotta.
Canvas, I knocked my demons out. The ref ain't even need to count. Damn near
impossible to express everything I'm thinking bout. Wave told me save the rest
for the next, it's time consuming. A little birdie told me "just
write", like Common hooping. A few projected overheads, keep the gems
underneath. Plotting out my Future, bumping Feds Did A Sweep. Life's
proven one thing, it goes on. Now high schoolers calling me Coach Shaun. Just
remember to shoot your shot, you've gotta score to win. 9 months since I last
spoke, I'm Born Again.
"My wallet like Foster's Home, I'm saving up stupid
Cheese" :)
- Swaggy T
