I Never Posted This

I've been trying to reconnect with this passion in me. Grabbed the pen, started writing from Chris's passenger seat. To paint a picture, hope that I can do it accurately. To portray my vision so clearly you can actually see. I've been feeling the pressure, every rap's a release. Tapping the screen tryna tap into me. I've been doubting myself, I have to believe. Switch it up, I'm getting trapped in this scheme. 

Fear of facing reality, my dreams are getting tired. Kaila said "You got it, you just need to be inspired." This writer's block has me feeling like a shell of myself. Even took it to my therapist to tell her to help. She then asked me "who are you?" I had to tell her "myself" 

Broke but never poverty stricken, placing my hopes behind a lottery ticket. And I'm kinda conflicted, between the damage that these rhymes have inflicted, and how candidly these rhymes have depicted

My deepest thoughts and feelings as my heart was healing. If you pay enough attention you may start to feel em. I never make these stories up and so it's hard concealing things that I should stop revealing. 

Did I tear my life apart by expressing my raw emotions?

A muse of mine forever. I used to write you letters. You used to drive the Jetta. 

So I've gotta admit, it hurts dawg. Cause you were the inspiration for writing my first song. You told me congratulations when I got my first job, and had me feeling like no other girl would be worth Shaun. But at the time forever was incredibly scary. And everything I'm saying now is hella contrary. But since y'all went and did this then you better get married. Cause if you don't, I felt this pain for nothing. I'm saying way too much, I should change discussions. Maybe I should date her cousin. Show up at Thanksgiving dinner with a haircut, her favorite shoes and a new shirt. Raise my hand and volunteer to pray over the food first. Make her Grandma love me, and her Aunts say that I'm a gem. Have her mom hug me, and her cousins want to find my friends. Just so I can know the feeling of the dream that died with him. No love lost, I just feel too tried to try again. Not to mention the first girl to ever ride the Benz. She left, I've been writing since. But lately my writing's limp. I'm healing but the scars hurt. Angry with myself because I know I broke her heart first. Heard a couple harsh words, bottled til my thoughts burst. Right now my head is everywhere, and I'm about to start work. Brighter than a star search, writer with them barred words. Penny for my thoughts, ain't no telling what my art's worth. Applause or appraisals and fraudulent labels. I know the game, I've just gotta get my cards to the table. I'm carrying the Ace of Spades like shorty working bottle service cause I got bars, that was something that you caught on purpose. Ain't enough to want it so I gotta earn it. This is about to be my first year with the green, Kyrie Irving. The one twice over, the new eleven. I just Uncle drew a legend. The pen is my paintbrush, and a lethal weapon. And every time I spit a verse, inflation of the crime rate. Write it down and then rehearse, the patience that a rhyme takes

Kinda got a platform, now I've gotta rap for em. Drop a couple tracks for em. Might uplift the city and then put it on the map for em, get up out the city for a while and then come back touring. Got it through your head, if you're not listening I rap boring. Cardiac arrest, in search of love I rap warrants. And I heard that Issa slapped Lawrence. 

I'm masking my insecurities, happy that you're secure with me. Didn't have an answer for what she asked today in therapy. Cause you became the one that I always knew would be there for me

And to revisit that story from those other lines

When I told you that it's nothing bro I wasn't lying. I get it, it's been done, it's fine. Because if she wanted you, then she wasn't mine. I guess it's just crazy that's what's yours was mine. Or what's mine is yours, cause it was mine at first. And that's why part of me is wishing for a time reverse. I'm nothing if not honest, I can't lie it hurts. And this is the only way that I can find the words. I'm well aware of the bridges a rhyme can burn. But it's cool, the fault is neither mine, or yours. Cause the damage is done long before I write the verse. 

How To Get Away, it's clear this is Murder. It's cool bro, I'm not mad. And I don't care if you hurt her. 

                        - Swaggy T (last edited October 8, 2017 at 6:56 pm)

Born Again

This is only because I made a promise. To keep it a hundred, sometimes I hate I'm honest. I've got to tell you the truth cause I never lie. Lately I'm so numb to it all, I'm petrified. A collection of verses. I pose a question on purpose. Deciding to do this and my only regret that I'm nervous. Rejecting the serpent who told me to accept that I'm worthless. And I've just had so much to say since when I said I was wordless. So I'm here to speak, consider Swaggy back. Yeah it's me, you see the bag attached. I wish I could focus. Attention span that slipped as I wrote this. I shift for a moment, into my deepest thoughts. I've been quiet for so long I really need to talk. I fought those demons off me now I fight to keep em off. Tossing punchlines like I'm sizing up a speed bag. Paint a picture, time is up, where the cheese at? I take a break and enter my mind with a ski mask. This is a heist cause it's full of a gems. I look at life through a fuller lens. And when I write, I feel full again. 

Shoulders hurt but there's a weight lifted. My circle close, it ain't no shapeshifting. I know some swore we would remain winless. I know some stories got the same villains. So I know I can't let no snakes get in. Don't turn my back, but watch like Lane Kiffin. Triple entendre, don't even ask me, owl. If you ain't heard about me you should probably ask around. I bet they haven't heard either. That absurd tweeter. Throw a couple lines and try to capture all readers. Wrote hooks in my notebooks. Throwaways like a no look. So amazing and so shook. Throwing flames as the flow cooks. It's really love if you've read. Been spending months in my head. And I've had so much to get off me, and still nothing was said.

A burden like no other I carry, it's quite a handful. I'm a terrible big brother, I've failed as an example. I dropped the ball, and my parents threw it perfectly. When I say no more looking back it's really cause it hurts to see. I was out so scared and lost my parents had to search for me. Sebass called my mom and said I'm safe, that was her first of sleep. Took a couple L's in life but that by far my worst defeat. Sick and tired spitting fire, this is an emergency. No vitamins, invite em in. My heart says speak your mind again. Looking in the mirror and I'm asking where the writer's been. Rhymes come off the head first, start it up I'm diving in. Flow so deep and wavy I don't even really write, I swim. Give life to pen like life depends. Starting to see I'm nice again. I gotta hit the mic again, that's money I don't like to spend. Don't know if I'm finished or I might begin, I'm on a roll. Entendres never straying far. Life's a movie, play your part. Counted particles while waiting on the scars to close. Logically it takes some extra time to heal a heart of gold. Weighing every decision thinking "how would it shape me?" Love is scary cause I gave someone the power to break me. Can't make it part of the plans to put my heart in your hand if I think you would leave it crumbled up and tossed in the can. Yet simultaneously inspired by the thought of a chance. If taken correctly could save and protect me from being so full of it saying I'm empty. Accounts I'm not checking, my savings is empty. I'm so far from balling, I'm saving up pennies. No not really, I flip em and make a wish in the air. Glass is half full, I'm thankful that my vision is clear. I did nothing but look at everything I did in a year. Turn-em-in in March, gave a view of all the madness. Lost my mind, and everybody knew I didn't have it. 

Love is a drug and I was overdosing. When I was broke and broken and them ghosts had broke in. Demon burglars that mean to murder ya. And reduce you to a state where no one's seen or heard of ya. But relax, I'm far from relapse. Respawned in rehab. Respond to me, laugh. Special place in my heart for Sebass. It's hard to be sad. Am I over it or overcompensating? I've gotta move on because time is wasting. Learning to manage it and maintain. I'm only looking back to change lanes.  Opened the window to my soul as I explained pain. Sometimes I wish my head was clear. I lost my mind, it's everywhere. I be thinking about the days that caused my mother to cry, while coming up with a handshake for my brother and I.  Swaggyspeaks, and this is what he does every time. He just starts putting every single thing he loves into rhyme. The game of life is dope and he just shuffles through lines. Insane he writes in hope that he'll uncover a sign. And when you ask him for forgiveness he just doesn't decline. To be honest my life's a movie that I'd love to rewind. First and third person, the second one is tough to define. Cause that's on you. If I said it you know that's all true. And I was really going through it then but that's all through. And that's all me. I gave you real and that's all free. Cause I ain't ever really been the type to tack on fees. Said back off please, and still you sent attacks on me. I never fronted but you were quick to turn your back on me. But now I've captured your attention and it's back on me. And you're surprised that you ain't even leave a scratch on me. I guess you stare cause you're in awe of the climb. It was an uphill battle, I was caught up in time. The problem, when I start writing I get lost in my mind. You heard about it, started reading, now you're all in this rhyme. As I establish a connection that got lost in the lines, I'm out here battling deception like I'm Optimus Prime. Playing my cards carefully, passing and no looking. A spade a spade, I extended my hand. Don't push me. 

I know when gifted with your presence I can rap fire. So I put 20 in the tank on a bad tire. And made my way to you, just to share a space with you. Cause through it all i know your love is real so I feel safe with you. So much to say I don't know where to begin. I should do this carefully. You were there for me and still you're here for me. Through transparency it's clear to see you truly care for me. When I was crying out for help and ain't know who was there for me, you helped me get through the moments that were too embarrassing. I love you for that, eternally. You'll never know what it's worth to me. Shouldering the pain when I just should go get the surgery. You showed me when you stayed that my love wasn't too burdening. And I needed that. I've got a gift, I need to rap. Trying to refocus cause I've been having trouble seeing that. You say you hope I find some inspiration and ironically, your desire to see me inspired is what inspires me. Out of bars, looks like you helped me to set the writer free. 

Staring down their sights and waiting for you to blink. Lose it in sound Shaun, you're safer than you would think. Gated community gave me immunity. NRA views and they aiming to ruin me. I know the truth so I'm praying for you and me. Cause I know there's no change without unity. They got me in chains, what'd they do to me? Can't rap about going to Jacob for jewelry. Not one for bluffing, that's fake and that's foolery. My wallet like Foster's Home, saving up stupid Cheese. Gotta thank God when Shane gets home from school at 3. Far from facade, if I say it it's true to me. If you're listening thank you for the opportunity. Searching for answers, got lost and it ruined me. 9 months of silence so talking feels new to me. Myself, no matter how awkward and goofily. Your ear means the world, you don't know what you do for me. Break myself down just to offer you two of me. This verse so sick made him cough,end the eulogy. (Cough in/coffin/cough, end)

Life's a bitch, and I'm sorry for cussin'. Sleep left me cause I couldn't get my mind off her cousin. My mind is in great shape, it constantly goes running. I was struggling everyday but I'm off that, Joe Budden. 10 toes down, every toe's got a Paul Bunyan. Lately I've just been chasing my tale but I've told nothing. Swaggyspeaks but it's sure been a while since he wrote something. It baffles me how they could leave teachers with no funding, then cut a check for 67 million to throw guns in. We're living in a reality that's tough to believe. Where lives take a backseat to corruption and greed. This is just what I'm thinking as I sit by the pool. I want to shed a tear for every kid at that school. Living nightmare, living right there. Not hidden, my fears. I'm sick for my peers, sometimes I just wish the system was fair. It's all about a dollar, that's never gonna change. I was lovesick, writing letters to the game. Valentine's Day in my city won't ever be the same. Caught up and rambling, my mind retracts to the tragedy. Pardon my tangents, I'm trying to weave a masterpiece. My thoughts are scrambling, that's always been what's distracting me. Self doubt creeping in, look in the mirror asking me "You said I had a gift, now I'm wondering if rap's for me." Welcome to dope in its purest form, I'm cooking up lines. I've been writing this for 2 months, it took up my time. I swear every single day I write a book in my mind. Not as lost as I once was, but still looking for signs. 

Reporting live from Brendon's passenger seat. Trying to focus on one of the distractions I see. But currently Curren$y's rapping to me. And I'm trying to ignore the fact I'm having to pee. A year ago today I thought I was in my happiest week. And I'll forever be impacted by what happened to me. So why not make it positive? Thankful that I got to live. Statements of the obvious. Take it, what you got to give? Take it, what you got to lose? A chance that is. Fighting my demons, I put them all on canvases. And when it clicks I start healing like a Kansas kid. Heart of a lion, got lost in the silence. I need to make a drastic change in how often I'm writing, these bars are confining. Get lost and come find them. Got the juice with these Punch lines, each bar a piña colada. And my shoulders don't work but I'ma swing if i gotta. Canvas, I knocked my demons out. The ref ain't even need to count. Damn near impossible to express everything I'm thinking bout. Wave told me save the rest for the next, it's time consuming. A little birdie told me "just write", like Common hooping. A few projected overheads, keep the gems underneath.  Plotting out my Future, bumping Feds Did A Sweep. Life's proven one thing, it goes on. Now high schoolers calling me Coach Shaun. Just remember to shoot your shot, you've gotta score to win. 9 months since I last spoke, I'm Born Again. 

                                   "My wallet like Foster's Home, I'm saving up stupid Cheese" :)

                 - Swaggy T

Wordless

It's been too long since I've written something.
As I jot my opening line I feel a rhythm coming. I'm back in my element, these raps have been heaven sent. Exhibiting penmanship with spectacular elegance in an attempt to capture my excellence. I'll humble myself. I wrote about the storms and thunder I felt, and told my mom her son wanted help. Now I've recovered my health. I slightly hate every verse that I write now. Struggling through my thoughts in every verse that I write down. It's been a while since I finished a rhyme, I've been having trouble finishing lines. Extracting everything that's been on my mind. Shuffling for a sentence to find, getting comfortable cause my pen is divine. A little effort and focus and I can lecture the lowest. And let them know the rise is coming cause we're destined to know this. I'm just chasing my destiny. I tried to cook but lost sight of the recipe. I learned to only eat with the people who want the best for me. My life took a bit of a turn, and it's been stressing me. Stacking bread by planting the seeds like a sesame while wondering what's next for me. The man above keeps blessing me as life continues testing me.

I guess I write better when I don't think. Clear eyes, full heart and I won't blink. I'm so fly I wrote this while watching the air show. A couple classics to record, can't wait until you hear those. Writing it before I've got the beat, I've got a weird flow. Awkwardly delivered but it's something you can feel though. I fell in love with the pen. Once upon a time the love was intense, but now I'm coming up with nothing again. I'm trying to keep up as my thoughts are running again. It's putting a strain on me to give a hundred percent. So you're witnessing half of me, a lyrical catastrophe. Still bodying verses, this is the anatomy. I break it down and tear it apart. Dismembering these words as I'm unclear where to start. Chronically armed to do bodily harm, yet I'm giving life like a shot in the arm. My pen is an IV, it's never poisonous. Bold, brash and boisterous.  The voice for the voiceless, sick as choiceless appointments. Like church bells, this noise is anointed. Lyrical leg work, as I fiddle my pen first. A breath of fresh air. I break it down, I mince words.

Lately I'm having run-ins with reality. The sky's the limit, I'm tryna defy gravity as I write happily, another mind masterpiece. Writer's block's been shackling, life has kinda tackled me. I play the beat and then I open my notepad
That was irrelevant don't even know why I wrote that. I'm wasting lines between space in time. Feeling trapped inside this space of my mine, trying to pace my mind. I remember when I used to spit the greatest rhymes. I think I've still got it just gotta take my time. I remember when I used to lie and say I'm fine, look to God and pray for signs. And it seems like no direction is working, you've tried several. The lil homies that used to look up to you eye level and you really want to follow your heart but your mind meddles. So I focus on this lyrical dope that my mind peddles. The rose that grew from the concrete with divine petals and I told so many stories the flow's got like 9 levels. Pondering my life in thoughts while conquering my writer's block. I don't really know what to say, so I'll just write and talk. My confidence is shaken by the time that this has taken. I remember when writing a rhyme was second nature. Now I struggle through verses, I'm a recovering wordsmith. And it's feeling like until I am recovered I'm worthless.

24 Days

New note. Trying to focus my thoughts. A few notes in the past I wrote as I fought. Went through many battles to reach inner peace. Just to have someone tell me it's something I didn't reach. I know myself. So well that I wrote myself. A bunch of letters that didn't receive responses, I just wrote what helped. Got them off my chest as soon as I hit submit. Now I'm far from depressed, I've proven that I'm legit. A legitimate lyricist. Gifted and giving it. Pen is ridiculous. Steady, meticulous. Ready yet ignorant. Eyes closed, full heart. This is bliss.

I contemplate a return to narrative writing. I haven't been high in a while, mostly apParent compliance. Cause they don't want to hear that he's flying. I'd rather be left to my own devices, but now everyone else in my life has become so decisive. And I don't sleep straight through the night when I close my eyelids. They put a label on the way I am, I won't deny it. I've just always hated science and I'm tired of staying quiet.
I do my best to manage it,
I'm chasing bread, no sandwiches.
You may not understand this clip,
let's take it back to narrative.

A week later I'm sitting in my car passing time as I wait to take my little brother home from practice. Gathering my thoughts has become increasingly difficult so excuse me if I begin to ramble, as I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Or where to start for that matter. My life has been very blah lately. The most exciting thing that's happened is that I've gone back to work. I feel like a functioning member of society again so that's a positive. For a while the medication I'm on made it nearly impossible for me to do most things. With the pen I'm an artist but lately all I've been drawing are blanks. If you've read it regardless then I would like to offer my thanks. I'm so broke I hang up when I get a call from the bank.
      Indents of in debts, bugs me like insects. Just started working, now I'll pay my friends next. Weight with no shoulders, yet I've gotta bench press. Things aren't working out but I've gotten your interest. I guess that's worth something, cause I'm not worth much. I'm broke & I'm hoping these words are my crutch. So many people have not been in touch. I tell myself that's something not to discuss as I look in the mirror and say "it's just us".

That came off lonelier than it was supposed to. It's actually a good thing in my mind. It shows that I've gotten to the point where I'm not decimated by losing people. The people that were gone haven't returned and the person who got me through their absence is gone, yet I'm fine. Still not sure why the last one left. Won't use any names and won't get trigger Happy with aka's but I can no longer beat myself up trying to figure out what I did to people. That's not healthy. I've gotta look out for myself more than I was. Everyone has their own perspective and I've got to let them live with it. I spend so much time in the shoes of others but no one even tries on my size 13's.
I'm through breaking my toes.

8 days later I'm wrestling with trying to squeeze in a bike ride before my doctor's appointment. A side effect of my medication is weight gain. I'm in pursuit of a dollar as if I hate change. I watch the playoffs and fall asleep to the late games. A genius who got ahead of himself while trying to grab the bread from the shelf to escape all of the pressure he felt. Dug such a hole he felt he was in debt to himself, and he's been trying to launch endeavors as well. Being broke is the root of all evil, are you in heaven or hell? Burning question, trying to peddle myself. From lyrical dope to biblical quotes. Ran back to what I was missing the most, I lost myself and started drifting too close. I wonder if this is something that I'm willing to post. I'm hesitant to represent the thoughts inside my head again. I overthink, it's clear if you've read. I've been rambling so much I'm starting to fear what I've said. But at the same time I can murder this using words like superfluous. Extra, extra, read all about me. I try to accept reality, my dreams won't allow me.
I'm cursed by these verses, imperfectly perfect. Rehearsing my purpose as I search what my worth is. I'd much rather do my work as a wordsmith.

A couple of days later, I'm trying to wrap this up. I'm not sure if I should rhyme this last portion or not. I'm just trying to make up my mind as I'm pouring my heart. But I'm unsure where to start. I've got my thoughts overflowing and I readjust on a whim once I've lost where I'm going. A command on this banter, recurring rambling ranter who paints a picture with words that comes out clear as a camera. My parents asleep on the couch, so much I'm thinking about. Once I finish up this verse then I'll be tweeting it out. I wear my heart on my sleeve, right now I'm bleeding it out. I'm writing this with no clue of how the beat's gonna sound. If you're reading this, I love you. Even if we've had our differences. I'm sure I'm still the same me, I don't know what the difference is. Just a young kid who's been missing a couple friends of his, who shed a couple tears today when he got a text from Chris. Going too in depth with this, friendship's what the message is.  Sometimes you feel the freedom through tears, or hearing something you needed to hear. Just simply being aware. Thanks cause I needed you here.

Started this on the first day of the playoffs and it's almost the conference finals. 24 days in my head. I'm posting it without reading it so I don't take even more time. I hope I didn't say anything too wild. I've realized it's probably my fault I feel alone, and I'm doing a much better job of dealing with it. Thanks for everyone that's there even when I don't notice. Love.

The Fault In Our Bars

"If you're a writer, then write something"

Those words were ringing in my head the whole way home as my two favorite bags co-existed in the passenger seat. The Knicks just lost, it's not painful anymore though. I've polished off my Popeyes. Not much has changed. So when it comes to writing something I say, challenge accepted. This may not rhyme though. It doesn't have to. If you recall, there was a time when the blog never rhymed. Back at the time of its genesis. I actually told myself I was shutting the blog down for now. Letting it live forever as is, it's quite a story. It's done it's fair share of damage in my life and it also brought me many gifts. Life is all about perspective. This blog is one of the best decisions I've ever made. If you read back to the original post, I said it wouldn't change my life. I severely underestimated the power of an outlet. This was my sanctuary. This was my place to express myself freely. To talk to myself while speaking for others. I reached people I've never come in contact with. I became a voice for people in other states. It was such a great feeling to be understood and heard, even in my darkest days. I'm a very emotional individual. I feel things. I'm also very open, maybe too open. I expressed my joy openly and vividly depicted my depression. The blog got me through my depression. That's why I wrote it out so clearly. I self medicated through the pen. When I became overwhelmed, I wrote. Which is why I was able to walk away from the blog. To shut it down or at least give it a reprieve. I'm happy. I promise. I'm perfectly fine. If you're not sure, go back and read what it looks like when I'm depressed and you'll be able to see the difference. God's got me and I've got the pen. I promise I'll be alright. And when I'm not, I'll let you know. 

Work to be done

Somebody's gotta do it

Lyrical dope

Somebody's gotta move it

So now I've got 2 phones

I'm writing a new song

All about the green, I'm chasing bread like a crouton.

My height the tallest thing I tell a tale about 

My life in stories so dope that I ain't even have to scale it out

Pull the cameras out

I'm putting on a show

Just cause you hear about 

That doesn't mean you know

Apparent crisis left my life flipped

Right back as I write this. 

I'm out here painting lines like when Dre was working the night shift.

I was fighting for my own life so I deserve my own right. When depression took its toll I had to pay my own price. Pricelines, no travel agent. Write crimes, don't have to save them. No adulation. The use of my imagination conducive to the cash I'm chasing. Made it from blogging to music, this is my graduation. 

And as I cross the stage, elated that I'm off the pain. I was born to win so I'ma play until I've lost the game. The game of life, a couple crazy nights. First taste of the feeling of when I'd be getting paid to write. 

They say I was in a manic state so I'm about to annotate. Axis Power bars, the power to make the planet shake. I plan the tape with every hand I shake. Slow and steady, that's how I ran the race. 10 toes down, deep rooted to withstand a quake. 

Young, fly and wavy. They keep trying to clip my water wings. Saucy like I ordered wings, tryna be his daughter's king. Married to the pen, lyrically I'm like the Lord of Rings. Lately I've been off the scene, not too many talk to me. Living in my head, my most reliable source is me. But way too many thought for me when they ain't even talk to me. Setback a step back, shooting as if Shaun's Kareem. 

That's where a hook would go

I've got a slight fear that some things may just never feel the same. My biggest mistake apparently, I let them feel my pain. I was shedding tears of joy, felt it was cause for celebration. Until they grabbed their little boy, and put Shaun on medication.

Sixteen Hours

I started this verse on January 19th 8:59 p.m
Halftime of the Knicks game.

Melo went for 25 in the second
and I'm cooking up a rhyme to perfection. In these lines I give lessons
I'll be signed in a second.
Dedicate a craft, make your grind your profession. Tahj making sure that everything lit. Lyrical chopper ready to spit. I'm tired of people rapping about irrelevant shit. I gave a live report of my depression with this. Turned them into bars, the only way to get the messages sent. Forever equipped, never forget. Letters I licked, separated friends from the ship. Temples would clinch because of all the pressure I pinched. Started painting pictures I thought I would never depict. Right now I'm feeling like Melo might drop 50, cause in the second quarter he was not missing. So many bonds splitting, broke as hell but my stock's risen. How many can really talk visions?  I told you all of this just imagine what I did not mention. My thoughts scriptures and this life is what the Lord's gift is. And what I write is what the Lord's gifted. Upon me, I almost took it away. I be writing to free the things that I couldn't just say. I was saying I couldn't complain. But the devil had his foot on my brain. That was a pressure that just couldn't remain. I wrote about it cause I couldn't refrain. Now look at the dirt you put on my name. You used to love me for the way I was, now it seems you hate the love. We're living in a world where it seems like people hate to love. Picking up the pieces to my heart made me afraid of Love. Telling stories I should leave concealed, but I can't make it up.

And now the Knicks are down 10 toward the end of 3rd. I painted pictures with the pen that you once didn't observe.
But now I've pulled you into the story, I've made you a part of it. Writing to a beat and I'm placing my heart in it. Thinking of stopping it cause I'm missing the game. Tahj saying everything lit, I'm flicking the flame. And telling the world what's been on my brain. Won't be long before I get to the fame. He got the dollars and the kid didn't change, the type of shit that they'll say.
I'm in the future looking back, spitting lyrical mags. I'm serving food for thought to get to the cash.
I worked on my delivery
With murderous artillery
These words might be the end of me
These verses bring me synergy
I'm searching for the energy
While cursing at my memories.
My purpose is my penalty
I'm making instrumentals bleed.

And the Knicks just lost, that was painful, it hurt. This ain't a game, but I'm playing with words. I don't even know what to say in this verse. But everything I'm saying just works. Writing on the spot before recording so I don't have a way to rehearse.
I pass the joint, and let these raps anoint. Ball with the pen, I have a point. Speaking in my rapping voice.
Or maybe I'll just slow it down for a while. Switching it up to show the sounds of my style. This is something that was just found in the file. Lyrical dope stored in mountainous piles. Lyrical vault on the top of the dome. Rhymes deeper than the top of the chrome.
Search bars.
Dented as his first car
Ironic he healed by making letters of his worst scars
Better when this verse starts
Clever with his word art
Spreading so much love you would think he had a third heart.
Telling you the worst parts
Writing them the best though. My life's become a mess bro. Sat up in the chair cause I'm writing in my next flow. Mind racing. Ready, set, go. Follow me where my head goes. Plotting on the end zone. Back against the wall, it's 4th and 99. My mind becomes so cluttered that I'm forced to write a rhyme. Might be a rough draft, but I'm recording it this time. So I'm fortunate this time. Lost a fortune in my dime. It's funny, I find you when I get lost up in my mind. You've been running through it, running on it, skating by it. Funny, foolish. Something that I say in silence. Showing off how great my mind is. This is something that I should take my time with. I package these bars with delivery, great consignment. Fountain of Youth flow, what I state is timeless. I'm a prophet with these bars, they say that crime pays. I've been fighting the urge to write Lovesick for like five days. They're sitting out, they couldn't stand what he wrote. They fell apart, I was just trying to keep the family close.

Peace said sorry for leaving when I needed her help
Then told me never apologize for being myself.

I lost my train of, that thought's erased. Now I'm praying to make it home on a quarter tank.
Suspended thoughts beneath these words he's underlying. So much drive I'm worried about my license. Happiness I was hurrying to find it. Screaming in my head while scurrying in silence. Bars cold as mountain caps. Spit a flurry as I climb it (climate). I take the flow so high, it evaporates. You see I'm gifted when I rap this way. Lyrical diarrhea, call me Gaseous Clay. Punchlines make em wonder how I'm unsigned. Lost what was once mine. Lyrical artillery, I'm living on the frontline. I could never front, I'm just trying not to mess this up. I can't slow my thoughts down, this draft is getting rough. Rough drafts, cracked windows of opportunity. I speak these verses fluently while trying not to ruin things. I let my guard down, and you really got me. Cause I don't hold hands with just anybody. A lot on my mind, I'm thinking about the world. You relaxing and I'm running my fingers through your curls. Is this real, or realistic? Really, how real is it? It feels like you've never had it but somehow you still miss it. It feels like you've never had it but this time it feels different. I write a rhyme, she says she'll save it forever. Back of my mind, I know eventually she'll hate to remember. My thoughts run wild, like a mother who has her lost her child. I'm just trying to get them all compiled.
Flow so wavy I was writing in the seven seas, fuel to the fire took it higher than they ever seen. Telling my story, my life becomes a legacy. I was fighting my demons, now I'm battling my memories. xo's, let go, I guess they don't know what they meant to me. Is that a tic-tac flow? Or tic-tac-toe? A couple probably didn't get that though. Watch me switch that flow.
Take a look at my mind, you crossed it again. Behind bars, I get so lost in the pen. I think most clearly when I talk to my friends. But they haven't been near me and it's not making sense. I've been living through a series of unfortunate events. But every single time I leave the crib I hop in a Benz. And just my luck, I didn't get to record. I'm focusing my drive but I miss the accord. Consistency is shifting, see? Guess some were only meant to teach. Lessons I learned from sources I no longer get to reach. I'll remember it differently. In a year's time the only one who got a gift for me. The spirit of a symphony, these lyrics are my tendency. I didn't change a thing, you're just forgetting to remember me...

I take a pause on the beat
They applaud as I speak
10 toes down bouncing on the balls of my feet
16 hours in my mind now this song is complete.

I finished this verse on January 20th, 1:06 p.m
During my second bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios


                                                      - Swaggy T


http://cash.me/$ShaunGeddes

Happy Belated Wordplay

Told you I was writing them repentantly. Lyrical artillery, I'm crying in my infantry. My heart is on my sleeve, my mind is on the memories. Finally starting to see that you're not trying to remember me. What did I do to make you want to forget? Cause to me it seems I always gave you love and respect. One of few people I thought that I could trust in this test. And now our line of communication doesn't connect. I've got a lot on my mind, it's about to come off my chest. When I'd seem even a little hurt, you would be jumping to check. Now you don't send me nothing, a text. (This next line may make my mother upset) How could you abandon me when I was fucking depressed? Tears would fall when I'd succumb to the stress. So much pressure it felt like I was punched in the chest. Being hurt by people I want to protect. I was telling new women that I'm in love with my ex. And telling strangers that I didn't feel the love from my friends. While battling a depression I just wanted to end. But in that time, look at what I've done with the pen. And now look at this, I've done it again. Grab the beat, and punch it again. Swaggyspeaks, he doesn't pretend. It isn't done til it ends.

I can talk about anything when I write, you never know. I was missing on January 9th, Derrick Rose. I knew that day was special, but I tried to ignore it. And because of that, I missed something mighty important. Happy belated to Shamel, he's way more than a cousin. I've been distracted by people who change up but he doesn't. As soon as it hit me I called and apologized. Overwhelmed by epiphanies so often I start to cry. I've gotta face it, that is something I can not deny. I'm just such an honest guy.
So sometimes it's kinda sad when I write. I can't front, I want you back in my life. We can't seem to get the capacity right. You feel pushed away by this passion of mine. Cause when I get defensive I start attacking in lines. That's something that I don't have to deny, because to not see it I'd have to be blind. But in the moment I just rap and I rhyme, and tell a story that is actually mine. Our friendship's taken a tragic decline. I've been feeling like I'm back in a bind, but I don't think that I'm imagining signs. I just follow my heart on a quest to master my mind. Too often I reflect upon the past and rewind, because it's always on the back of my mind. Now every rap is refined. I gave a rib and now I'm back in my prime. Bury the hatchet and blow up, this masterpiece mine. This is the last of these lines.

10 toes down, I seem to outstand. Tim Halpert, spitting heat without fans. And I be talking too much when I think about Pam. And Pam could be you, or Pam could be her. Or Pam could be no one, Pam could be words. That's for God to know, and me to figure out. To Whom It May Concern, I hope I'm reaching you right now. Cause this is the only way that I can speak to you right now. It still doesn't feel like I can even tweet to you right now. But you're on my mind so much I even think of you out loud. I just want to say I'm sorry for my part in this. It may get kinda gory my heart's in it. Don't know the end to the story, I miss the start of it. That sounded better when I thought of it. This letter's getting lost a bit. Built a friendship way too strong to settle for the opposite.

Buried alive in this lyrical coffin, I've got sick rhymes. I'm about to finish The Office for the sixth time. Reminiscent reflection on when I started this time. Transplant transparency, I put my heart in this rhyme. From the bottom of my heart, this is top of the line. I would change it all back at the drop of a dime. That's something that's so uncommon to find. Now I've finished The Office, some people I've been missing since August. Weight on my chest, the shit was enormous. I couldn't ignore it. I'd like to send my thanks to any supporters. I was searching for my sanity, I really just lost it. Retrieving it was really important. I've been writing this for two days, I could've just forced it. I was dying to win a battle that I could've just forfeit. I was so broken that I couldn't afford it. I was trying to numb a pain that I once didn't acknowledge. It was running through my brain so much the pen was exhausted. I left my job trying to better my fortunes, I made a bet and I lost it. Look how much depression has cost him. It knocked me off of my path, time to get off of my ass. Last semester it cost me a class. Cause life was testing me and that was even harder to pass. Caused me to part with my past to the point where my heart had been smashed. I'm broker than broke, it cost me my cash. But I'm defeating the demons, toss em all in the trash. Lyrical artillery, I keep it all in my bag.
I need to receive an incentive for what I illustrate. I think I may have turned my depression into my demo tape. I was at my low point, I'm about to elevate. I got through my worst hours by focusing on my better days. Back on a level where I levitate. Made it through the pressure and kept my head on straight. I'm about to come into some dollars but I'll never change. I'm plotting on the social media lottery. I've been broke, it's been hard for me. Spilling this heart in me with pressure clogging up my arteries. All the stress was rough. I'm blessed, what's luck? Friday the 13th, my defense is love.



                                                    -Swaggy T