Ehhhhh

For a school assignment I was asked to write about 3 cultures that I belong to that contribute to the person I am today. I decided to take a different angle and focus on perception. I was told I should post it so... here it is. 

                                                                                                                             

The Cultural Composition: More to Me Than Meets the Eye

           

            Many people decide who I am before they ever meet me.  As unfortunate as this may seem, I’ve had to embrace this circumstance as reality.  As a young African-American male in today’s society, assumptions are made about my character, upbringing, and personality on a daily basis.  Many times I have my voice taken from me before having the chance to speak. As I grew older, I became increasingly more determined to correct those misconceptions, thwart those stereotypes, and destroy those stigmas. I set out to ensure that once people got to know me, they’d understand why they shouldn’t be so quick to conceive their own premature opinions.  I’ve learned that people fear what they don’t understand. There’s much more to myself, or any individual for that matter, than what can be seen on the surface. There are a bevy of cultural factors and influences that have helped to shape the young man I have become today and the way I carry myself.  A few of them can easily be seen from the outside looking in. Hip hop, sports, and sneakers are all very vital to me. They are also a part of the premature public perception that others may form. But the untrained eye can’t fully understand the way said cultures have influenced me individually.

            Hip hop is an enormous part of my life. There is a universal appreciation for music, although for many different genres and variations. So while almost everyone can appreciate a love for music, not every individual can relate to everyone else’s taste. I believe that hip hop unfairly receives a negative connotation from the general public. People tend to write it off due to unfamiliarity and don’t seem to understand the positive effect that hip hop can have. Many artists have positive messages and great storytelling abilities that they still manage to tie together wonderfully into a hit song. Hip hop has helped me through some of the toughest times in my life, and been the soundtrack to my best times. I’ve learned a lot about the world and myself through the music alone. Hip hop introduced me to the fact that I actually enjoyed writing, as I was inspired to begin writing myself by my favorite artist. My role model graduated Magna Cum Laude from St. John’s University. But because he’s a “rapper”, that automatically receives a negative perception. Many people don’t understand there’s more to the music. Many people don’t understand there’s more to me.

            From a very young age I was enamored with sports. Whether it be watching sports, playing outside with friends, playing for a team, or even keeping up with stats and rumors on the internet.  Sports have played a very big role in the person I am to this point because they have surrounded me for my entire life.  I played sports all throughout my years growing up. Being part of teams and having a craft to dedicate myself to taught me a lot about cooperation, structure, discipline, and hard work. Often times athletes are given the “jock” label insinuating that one may not be as bright. I think often times it’s quite the contrary. I feel that having to balance so many different aspects of life around and with my athletics helped to make me the well-rounded individual that I am today. In high school, the average student gets home at 3:00 pm. I can probably count on two hands how many times I was home that early. Due to practices and games, I would get to school at 7:00 am and wouldn’t get home until anywhere between 7:00 and 11:00 pm. I feel that has played a large role in my ability to adjust to my circumstances. On a lesser note, I’m a sports fanatic when it comes to my professional teams. I’ve stuck with my teams through thick and thin, rougher times than most could imagine. I believe that speaks to and has helped to shape my loyalty in other areas of life as well.  Once again, there’s more beneath the surface.

            Lastly, the impact of the sneaker culture is understood by only a select few, those who are a part of it.  Sneakers were an immense part of growing into the person I am today because they gave me a chance to express myself when I needed it most. As crazy as it may seem, the timing of the development of my sneaker obsession in high school matches up almost perfectly with me beginning to figure out who I was at that age. I don’t believe that it was a coincidence. Sneakers also helped me to become self-sufficient. I fell in love with sneakers during that awkward period in high school where you’re too young to get a job but your parents see you as too old to just buy things for you. So I began selling candy in school to feed my sneaker obsession. I made about $80-$100 a week selling candy and I would save it up with a target date in mind for whatever sneakers were coming out. Spending hours reading online sneaker forums, standing in lines and calling every store in the mall on sneaker release dates became second nature. The ability to express and sustain myself started with the sneaker culture. That’s why they will always be more than “just sneakers” to me.

            Looking back, the impact that these cultures had in my life is immense, bigger than most would imagine. With the interests of hip hop, sports, and sneakers, most people would paint their own picture in their head as to what kind of person that individual might be, just as many people paint a picture of me before being handed brush. I just hope to be able to show others that you can’t necessarily put people in a box when it comes to their culture. Inability to relate should not equal failure to understand. There’s more to each culture, not just the ones I described or am a part of. There’s more to me than most would see.

            

Trust Fund

It takes forever to earn it, and you can lose it all within a second. No, not money. Trust. Trust is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Whether it be a romantic relationship, friendship, work, etc. Trust is the foundation of anything you are trying to build interpersonally and even within yourself. Until you trust and believe in yourself it will be quite difficult to trust others. And if you can't trust yourself, how can someone else be expected to trust you? The most effective way to build trust with others is to live every day as if you're trying to earn your own trust, because you'll always be watching. It doesn't seem like anyone ever talks about that, or even sees it that way. You're always told to treat others as you'd like to be treated but you can't control the actions of others. Why not treat others the way you would want to treat yourself? Live up to your own expectations of dealing with people. Expect to get in return no more than what you put out. If you're not completely honest with others, they don't always know. But you do. You're the one who has to live with every move you make. The camera is always rolling. So if you aren't 100% honest with yourself, don't expect that from anyone else. How can you expect someone to treat you better than you treat yourself? Never respect a man who doesn't respect his word. In a way, it's all you have. Word is bond. Trust and respect go hand in hand. Which goes back to trust being the foundation of interpersonal relationships. Trust and respect breed loyalty, which is a necessity among those close to you. But it's a very fragile balance because as stated earlier, as long it takes to build trust, it can be lost in an instant. You never actually finish building trust, it's ongoing. Ziad K. Abdelnour stated "Trust is earned, respect is given, loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three". Maybe that risk is what scares people. Some may see it as, if I can work to build something for that long and lose it all instantly, why build it? Or maybe some people just don't trust themselves enough to trust others. Either way, I'm just really not sure when it became cool to say "I don't trust anyone". People say that proudly and wear it as some sort of badge of honor as if that isn't tragic. That's not a good thing. If you don't have anyone you can trust, you don't have anyone you can count on. Which is crucial seeing as it's much tougher to do this whole "life" thing alone. I really do pity anyone who feels they have no one they can trust because I can't even imagine. Personally, I don't know what I'd do without the people closest to me. Intentionally not trusting others to prevent yourself from being betrayed is like stabbing yourself in the ribs so that no one can stab you in your back. It's important to have people around you who you can be sure have your best interests in mind. The vital step is finding those people, and building that trust. Wale once said "You know that balance a b***h, cause who's on your back or who's got your back, I promise the line is this thin". But it all comes back to how you treat yourself. If you keep it real with yourself and others, you're likely to attract those who will keep it real with you as well. Trust is like a bank. You can only get out, what you put in. 

                                                                                 -Swaggy T

Wood Floors

For the first six years that we lived in our current house, we had carpet all throughout upstairs. I was fine with it, never thought much of it. Sometimes, we tend to accept the norm and confuse it as what's best. That summer I came home from school and the carpet was gone. We had hardwood floors put in while I was away. It was so different, my room looked weird. It was an adjustment. In the beginning I found myself sort of missing the carpet floors. I had grown so used to them that it seemed awkward without them. Sometimes you don't notice what you have until it's gone. But after a short time I began to realize how much better the wood floors were. I realized the carpet was starting to look dingy, I no longer had to vacuum my room, and I could put socks on and slide around the house like Kobe in the guitar hero commercial (Which my little brother and I turned into "floor skating"). Now, I can't even picture what my room looked like with carpet if I try. I actually just remembered that I once had carpet, which kind of inspired this post. As irrelevant as that whole thing may seem, this isn't about the floor in my room, it's about change. Some of us are so afraid of it. A lot of us don't know how to handle it. Sometimes we try to hold on to something that is best to let go. It's important to remember that everything happens for a reason. Every person and everything serves a purpose in your life and they aren't all meant to accompany you on the journey. As tough as it may seem, it's okay to let certain things go. You can only move but so far forward while looking back. So often people stay in subpar situations because they've become used to it. Don't mistake familiarity for necessity. You'll adapt and adjust, it's human nature. There's no need to settle for subpar.
Conversely, there are the situations where people are so adamant about burying something that isn't dead. If it happened, it happened. Deal with it. You can still move on but let's not play pretend. It's okay to miss something. It's okay to express that. Suppressing that and trying to act as if it doesn't exist only hurts you. If you ignore the pain it will never heal. Your greatest weakness is your desperation to show your strength. Be human, it's okay. Change isn't something to be afraid of. Change is good, change is natural. The best way to handle these situations is not to force anything one way or the other. Roll with the punches and let human nature take its course. Before you know it, you won't even be able to picture that carpet floor anymore.
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." - Socrates

I Don't Know

My answer to every essential question in life at the moment seems to be "I don't know". I'm not sure what the future holds, and I don't have enough of a grip on the present to make an even remotely accurate forecast. It's terrifying, stressful, nerve-racking, and just about any other adjective that represents a situation you don't have control of. I immediately begin feeling uncomfortable when people ask me even the simplest question's about my future. Mainly because I feel like I just don't have the right answer. It seems like saying "I don't know" sounds just as stupid as any half-assed answer I can come up with at the time. It's a lose lose situation and I'm yet to determine the lesser of two evils. It seems like I don't know anything. I'm 20 years old and still don't know what I want to be when I "grow up". I don't know where I'm gonna be in 5 years, I don't know where I'll be in a year. I don't know if I want to stick with my major. I don't know what I'm doing this summer. I don't know what I'm doing for my birthday. I don't even really know what this post is about or where I'm going with it. I. Just. Don't. Know. As maddening as this may seem, there's sort of a silver lining. Maybe being at this place where I realize that I don't know anything is a step in the right direction. Socrates, the father of Western Philosophy and one of the most celebrated thinkers of all time, once said "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing". He coined the Socratic paradox "I know that I don't know" and said that he was wiser and better off because of that. If knowing that he didn't know made him a genius, why can't I make something out of this knowledge of my knowledge of nothing? As frustrating as it can be, it may not be completely terrible. Perhaps sometimes, ignorance really is bliss. Not knowing my future doesn't mean that I can't control it, or that it will be a disaster. It means just that, that I  don't know what it will be yet. But I intend to figure it out. Somehow. Some way. Thanks for listening (reading).
"Let him that would move the world first move himself" - Socrates
                                                                           

                                                                     

-Swaggy T

A Left At The Second Light

Where am I going? How did I get to where I am now? I can't be the only one who feels like this is all happening so quickly. Life comes at you fast, at times it feels like I'm playing catch up with the past while trying to understand the present, all while trying to figure out my future. We're all searching for direction, but I think sometimes it's important to get lost. Try to remember to live in the moment sometimes. Take a quick break from trying to figure out where you're going and appreciate where you are and how far you've come. I hope this is making sense, I'm just typing. We're all the main character of our own stories. Each one of us is the pioneer of our own individual journey. Thankfully we don't have to do it alone. Our paths cross and sometimes even coincide so that we don't have to figure it all out on our own. Life is a team game. Take a look around at your "teammates". How'd they get here, with you? How long have they been here? Who seems like they're in it for the long haul? They all play separate roles. Think about what each of them mean to you, let them know you appreciate them. Circumstances can change in the blink of an eye. Bonds are forever, or at least they can be. Some bonds are broken, some people get cut from the team. No need to harbor animosity even in those cases though. Appreciate them for what once was and learn from the good and the bad. No experience is ever wasted if you can learn something from it, and there's something to be learned from in each and every experience. Everything happens for a reason, no matter how inconvenient it may seem at the time. You can probably point to at least one day or event that changed that the course of your life. At the time you probably thought you'd never get over it. But in retrospect, you probably appreciate it. It's probably the reason you are where you're at now. For example, in 10th grade I switched schools. I was miserable about it. I kept thinking about all the friends I'd miss and how things wouldn't be the same. Looking back on it, I'll never know what my life would've been like had I stayed, but I know I appreciate what I have now. There are so many people I would not have met and so many things I would've never experienced. So in retrospect, it was a good move no matter how tragic it seemed back then. Moral of the story, no matter how strong the winds may be, there's never been a storm that didn't pass. I apologize for the irony of a post about direction being all over the place but that just happens to me where I'm at in life. It's important to focus on your future but keep in mind that tomorrow isn't promised. Life is a gift, don't forget the present.

-Swaggy T

Shoot Your Shot

This is a blog post about how I'm starting a blog.  I've wanted to start a blog for a long time.  For some reason I seemed to always put it off.  This has been among the many ideas or desires floating around in my head that I gave myself excuses not to follow through with.  So I'm sitting here on my laptop at 10:45 p.m writing my initial blog post because if I don't just do it now it may never happen. That's an outlook that I'm trying to implement across many different areas of my life.  I've got to stop pump faking when no one's guarding me. I've been stopping myself , my own worst enemy on so many different occasions. For a myriad of reasons whether it's not believing in myself, or simply coming up with reasons as to why it won't work as opposed to what could happen.  Now I highly doubt this blog is going to change my life in a major way but it's a start in the right direction, a way to get into the habit of shooting my shot.  I hope for and almost expect this blog to be sort of therapeutic in a way.  If you know me and/or follow me on twitter, you know that I have a lot to say.  This is my canvas, this is my podium.  Contrary to my ever growing disdain for all things school related, I actually love to write.  But I only enjoy writing on my own terms. Life doesn't come with a prompt, in text citations or an annotated bibliography. We all have to figure it out on the fly, and that's how I prefer to write. So this blog will be my voice. This can be my platform to speak my mind, even if no one is listening.  I wanted to develop a certain schedule, such as having a post every friday or something of the sort.  But that strays away from the very purpose of this, doesn't it?  So I intend to write something literally whenever. About whatever. Sports, music, life, who knows. If you're reading this, first off thank you sincerely for caring even the slightest about what I have to say, and consider this your invitation to come along for the journey. But I doubt that I'm alone in holding myself back from things I want.  There's probably something that you've wanted to do or try but you've given yourself every reason as to why you can't or shouldn't. A wise man once said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". Stop pump faking, shoot your shot.

                                                                                      -Swaggy T