Call It What You Want

I was reading my last blog entry with the letter to my parents and one of the lines in there inspired me to start writing again and then I lost track. This was an accident. It doesn't fit the blog and is a side of me I don't often show so it'll probably be deleted soon. Enjoy while it lasts...

The more I grew up, the more I understood the magnitude of all the things they did when they were doing what they had to do. All the things they taught me even when I had an attitude. All the time they dedicated to their hustle not to hassle you so now adults that you don't know will ask you what your dad would do. Then the lights came on, people realized they were both grinding. While others invested a little time, they were bulk buying. When others were flexing but really lying, they were both quiet. There's no way that these parents are really mine, yo they're both giants. But now I'm realizing that I'm bigger than I thought I was. And it's my job to finish what they started up. I know that other people had to get it from the bottom up but my parents gave me a head start, that's iconic love. And that's the kinda love, that's like a diamond love. That I'm willing to die for it once I find it love. That I'm really focused on finding love. Not just romantic but that reliant love. Cause in war time, you'll need that alliance love. Everything I do is for it like I'm signed to love. That kinda love that when you're down it helps you rise above. That kinda love that I could never put these rhymes above. That's my main purpose, can't let the little things distract me. I'm realizing I don't want to be anything but happy. Been running circles in my own mind, it's really been a track meet. In a world of superficials only the realer things attract me.  These words are my therapy so I can't feel a thing attack me. It's therapeutic, these words I use em but don't abuse em. They're starting to see I'm a problem and that's word to Houston. And I'm moving in silence they never heard him shooting, but one day I'll be getting buckets like I'm bird or Ewing. That's two 3's and a double entendre, now they know I'm shooting and it's time to put shots up; surgical precision when I'm cutting these rhymes up. They're all looking for a leader, I was trying to help em find one. Like a middle page in the dictionary, I define one. Time's up but I'm so down that I find some. 6'5 but I hold it down like I'm 5'1. To show you how nice I am with these rhymes I think I'll rewind some. It's therapeutic, these words I use em but don't abuse em. And now they see I'm a problem, and that's word to Houston and because I'm moving in silence they never heard me shooting. I grew up an underachiever making the worst excuses, now it seems like every motion I make is the perfect movement. Right now you probably are baffled by what these words are doing. How could I be such a strong writer but not the perfect student? The school thing really made me feel like a worthless human, but with this pen I've got power, I've got nerve, I'm ruthless so letter to the game, this is the field that I'ma murder you in. While they're observing the body, I will observe the viewing. This is probably the first chance you've had to learn I do this. I may never tell you directly but bet these words will do it. A few will read this and think oh wow his rhymes are sick. A couple will read this and think okay he can kinda spit. Others will laugh and be like "omg he's trying to spit". My mother may read this and say "omg what Shaun is this?" She might call my dad up like "help me find our kid. He said he's done with the games and doing what Simon says" there's seats on the bandwagon for whoever wants to doubt me. Read this and think whatever you want about me, but look at your life and see it's not as fun without me.  Once I found myself it's like everybody found me. I'm just trying to spread love to everyone around me. Cause I decided to be happy regardless of who allows me. I've been quiet for some time, welcome to the loud me. Jaw dropping lyrics, punchlines make your mouth bleed. Growing up, I met a world. It was better when I found peace. Told my mother I grew up years ago, she responded "child please". She taught me to be selective with the ones I let surround me. So there's strength in my circle, I love the ones I keep around me. Like dropkicks in Mortal Kombat, everyone is 'down b'. I wouldn't have found myself if I didn't find my friends. Cause when I wanted to jump they're the ones who climbed the ledge. Pulled me back to safety and then helped me clear my head. So let's recap. I'm done with the games, through doing what Simon Says. If you're not trying to be happy you're either blind or dead. 20/20 vision and I'm trying to be alive til death. Living and spreading love, that's what my assignment is. So I'm in the field in the trenches, like a lineman is. Package these bars with delivery, that's what consignment is. Like Foster Home visits, they're praying somebody signs the kid. I lost myself in this rhyme, wow what time is it? This is not at all what I planned when I started writing it. The flow's so sick I've gotta stock up on my vitamins. I'm not a rapper, I'm a writer, but I'm not afraid to rhyme. Either way I choose to do it, I've just gotta take my time. Cause I plan to let the pen take me where it takes my mind.