Dear Officer pt. Too Many

You know it's bad when they've made a writer run out of words. Another innocent man shot dead right on the curb. More lives are disturbed, his and those of his family. That's a side that "#AllLivesMatter" doesn't care to see. His wife'll be a wreck, his kids may have to go to therapy. Because the cops turned the man of the house into a memory. Mired in misery, they're firing endlessly. I'm running the human race but they're dying to finish me. All due to the race I represent, will it ever end? I can't let it break me but can't say I never bend. I'm just a person with emotions, you see? With every life they take it feels they're getting closer to me. They just shot a man dead because he sold a CD. You don't have to look that closely to see, as more of us bleed. Black male or blackmail? I hope you get the message. They make judgements on our character before they've even met us. The boys in blue hunting blacks like it's a part of their profession. I try not to be profane but please answer me this, what happens when the man behind the badge is a bitch? A knee in my chest and he's keeping it pressed cause he is depressed. Pointing a gun at the unarmed when he has a vest. This is more of my scene. Pulling up on me with his high beams although I'm doing the right thing. He shines his light on my skin and decides he doesn't like me. So he's excessively rude in an effort to entice me to react in even in the slightest so he can say he had to fight me. I tell him to keep his words in check as he speaks to me like I don't deserve respect. He threatens to shatter my window and I'm asking why and his reply is that I don't get to ask him why. I was angry yet I was mad polite. Cause I'm not trying to be a hashtag tonight. He's got a hand on his weapon and he wants me to hit him. Another black life gone, chalk it up to the system. Alton Sterling, I had to say his name. Prayers for his family, I can't fathom the pain, of knowing they'll never have him again. Another black life gone, chalk it up to the system. I'm out of words, here's a verse from something I've already written.

Institutionalized by an institution of lies. And somehow there's never a sentence for institutional crime. And the truth that you'll find is you get used to the signs, of these not so unusual crimes. Wish we could go back to a time where our youth wasn't dying, oh wait, that time's only produced in my mind. They date back to a time far beyond my memory. It's been going on forever, it's Emmit Till Infinity. There's a power to the pen you see, that's way deeper than physically. But I can't rewrite history with metaphors and similes. Thought just being aware was enough, silly me. Seems every body they drop, they're just getting closer to killing me.

Written over a year ago, relevant today. I can't figure it out, it's upsettingly insane. They shoot us at the drop of a dime, when will it ever change? Their actions toward our innocent are so unbecoming. Accidentally watched the video, I'm sick to my stomach. Their pistols are pumping, based on their own criminal assumptions. No matter the season it feels like they're hunting as if we simply mean nothing. The video made me so sick I almost smashed my screen. Black Lives Matter but they only take care of the Whiteside, like Pat Riley. The system stinks, the police have bad hygiene. I've got a future bright as his high beams but our present makes my eyes bleed. Started writing this for Alton then they took another man though. Another member of the cast killed, this is for Philando. And cause I'm black at night, I keep my head on swivel for them flashing lights. Cause I don't want to be hashtagged tonight. Now I'm scared to leave the house cause I'll be left for dead in the streets. They say that all lives matter but then defend the police? We're praying for peace, they only focus on the violence. His taillight cost him his life, I've gotta get mine fixed. With every brother they take I start to think I'm next. This is a eulogy for you and me for what the cops may do to me. For future reference I wasn't resisting, he started shooting me. 

I just want a shot to show I'm a genius, they just want the plot to grow in between us. That's why I don't trust the media. They're bringing nightmares to dreamers, as good people try to cope with the evil. When we do it they act like hope is illegal. Sure all lives matter but we know they're not equal. The story of Trayvon Martin has so many sequels. They hate us and I just don't know the reason. All I do is give my soul as I'm speaking, they're turning summer into the coldest of seasons. 

Dear Officer, please don't shoot. I'm living life with my hands up. The murderers are the ones equipped the handcuffs. They're afraid of us but they're the coldest of killers. Somehow it still isn't murder if you unload in a nigga. 

- Shaun Geddes