I've been trying to reconnect with this passion in me. Grabbed the pen, started writing from Chris's passenger seat. To paint a picture, hope that I can do it accurately. To portray my vision so clearly you can actually see. I've been feeling the pressure, every rap's a release. Tapping the screen tryna tap into me. I've been doubting myself, I have to believe. Switch it up, I'm getting trapped in this scheme.
Fear of facing reality, my dreams are getting tired. Kaila said "You got it, you just need to be inspired." This writer's block has me feeling like a shell of myself. Even took it to my therapist to tell her to help. She then asked me "who are you?" I had to tell her "myself"
Broke but never poverty stricken, placing my hopes behind a lottery ticket. And I'm kinda conflicted, between the damage that these rhymes have inflicted, and how candidly these rhymes have depicted
My deepest thoughts and feelings as my heart was healing. If you pay enough attention you may start to feel em. I never make these stories up and so it's hard concealing things that I should stop revealing.
Did I tear my life apart by expressing my raw emotions?
A muse of mine forever. I used to write you letters. You used to drive the Jetta.
So I've gotta admit, it hurts dawg. Cause you were the inspiration for writing my first song. You told me congratulations when I got my first job, and had me feeling like no other girl would be worth Shaun. But at the time forever was incredibly scary. And everything I'm saying now is hella contrary. But since y'all went and did this then you better get married. Cause if you don't, I felt this pain for nothing. I'm saying way too much, I should change discussions. Maybe I should date her cousin. Show up at Thanksgiving dinner with a haircut, her favorite shoes and a new shirt. Raise my hand and volunteer to pray over the food first. Make her Grandma love me, and her Aunts say that I'm a gem. Have her mom hug me, and her cousins want to find my friends. Just so I can know the feeling of the dream that died with him. No love lost, I just feel too tried to try again. Not to mention the first girl to ever ride the Benz. She left, I've been writing since. But lately my writing's limp. I'm healing but the scars hurt. Angry with myself because I know I broke her heart first. Heard a couple harsh words, bottled til my thoughts burst. Right now my head is everywhere, and I'm about to start work. Brighter than a star search, writer with them barred words. Penny for my thoughts, ain't no telling what my art's worth. Applause or appraisals and fraudulent labels. I know the game, I've just gotta get my cards to the table. I'm carrying the Ace of Spades like shorty working bottle service cause I got bars, that was something that you caught on purpose. Ain't enough to want it so I gotta earn it. This is about to be my first year with the green, Kyrie Irving. The one twice over, the new eleven. I just Uncle drew a legend. The pen is my paintbrush, and a lethal weapon. And every time I spit a verse, inflation of the crime rate. Write it down and then rehearse, the patience that a rhyme takes
Kinda got a platform, now I've gotta rap for em. Drop a couple tracks for em. Might uplift the city and then put it on the map for em, get up out the city for a while and then come back touring. Got it through your head, if you're not listening I rap boring. Cardiac arrest, in search of love I rap warrants. And I heard that Issa slapped Lawrence.
I'm masking my insecurities, happy that you're secure with me. Didn't have an answer for what she asked today in therapy. Cause you became the one that I always knew would be there for me
And to revisit that story from those other lines
When I told you that it's nothing bro I wasn't lying. I get it, it's been done, it's fine. Because if she wanted you, then she wasn't mine. I guess it's just crazy that's what's yours was mine. Or what's mine is yours, cause it was mine at first. And that's why part of me is wishing for a time reverse. I'm nothing if not honest, I can't lie it hurts. And this is the only way that I can find the words. I'm well aware of the bridges a rhyme can burn. But it's cool, the fault is neither mine, or yours. Cause the damage is done long before I write the verse.
How To Get Away, it's clear this is Murder. It's cool bro, I'm not mad. And I don't care if you hurt her.
- Swaggy T (last edited October 8, 2017 at 6:56 pm)
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