Time Stamp

Yan told me this beat is all me
They're sleeping on me, I'm giving em coffee. Lyrically coughing, cause the flow so sick. 12:41 pm as I wrote this. Lyrical artillery, I'll load clips. I'm buffering and shuffling, this blood in me is bludgeoning. I put my heart on a beat, my writing started as tweets. When I see how far I've come it's almost hard to believe. I'll try not to talk about the things that are bothering me. But lately there's just so many people Shaun doesn't see. The ones who were always there haven't been talking to me. Shuffling through my mind and trying to write my thoughts to a beat. Now I'm rocking side to side. Breaking down, but on my grind. Now I'm skating in lyrics. Fighting Satan in lyrics. Married to the pen, I've been dating my lyrics.
Time stamp.
I'm broke as my lamp. But still shed light in what I post with no stamp. Ones I was close to unclamped. But I've been winning in these writtens, see I'm chosen, a champ. Give you a dose of this dance, these are lyrical drugs. I'm moving dope but I ain't never been no criminal, thug. I'm serving but I ain't charging, I'm just giving you nugs. Lyrics portray my pain, you want to give me a hug. It's dope cause it comes from the heart, why force it? They on point too but they shorting you, Ty Lawson. I tie lines in. Bury gems so deep that you find diamonds. Spitting flames, Flow wavy as fire hydrants. Yan let the beat build and now my mind's climbing. And Berto's playing 2k, opponent just quit. I'm making my life a movie as I'm loading this clip. Buffering once again, suffering as I send. I used to always be happy, now it's tough to pretend. Until you hear someone you need tell you they love you again. This is really the toughest time to not feel love from your friends. When everything you try to start just comes to an end. Looking for hope in another scratch off, nothing again. My registration expired, can't pull up in the Benz. I'm driving my Grandma's Echo and I'm trying to be heard. Telling the world my story as I'm rhyming these words. Lyrically heating up, I'm warming, I'll go global. 80 degrees in Winter, I'm getting the cold shoulder. I'm sweating in December, expressing my dilemmas. I'm looking at the game like I'm next to be a winner. It's 80 degrees, Kristen just graduated. She shows me love so real we fell out and moved the past the hatred. Consistent role in a movie where the cast is changing. She hit my phone the other day and said what class you taking? One of few who moved closer when the sadness came in. There's just so many falling victim to the cash we're chasing. Following my heart, inspired by imagination. So much reality in the pictures that he displays. Can't sleep, I drove the girl of my dreams away. I never saw the day coming that I'd be seen this way. Where I'd be telling everyone the things I need to say. But now I see that this is what I want to do. You see I can do it well, so this is wish is coming true. Nothing's working right now, but these verses profound. Recording rough drafts at Yan's just rehearsing my sound. With these words I can wow. They're getting personal now. I've been down so much lately sometimes it hurts me to smile. I'm still trying to spread love, it's not disturbing my style. I've been going acapella on this verse for a while. This is just a rehearsal. I'm about to put on a show, this is just a commercial. Every time I pick up the pen it's a divine dance. 4:21, December 22nd. Time stamp.

P.S
A few thoughts.
So I recorded a rough draft over a beat up to that point yesterday that I was really excited about. But like everything else I get excited about, it fell apart. As it was being mixed & mastered, the file vanished.
That's life though, I've been taking the punches. I'm as open as can be yet still they're making assumptions. So many around me acting fake and presumptuous. I hated discussing this.
My brain has been wondering
What crime I committed to have to pay through this punishment.
It's holiday season, my gift's words. I hate to say it but if you're reading this, that shit hurt. I've been feeling down, so many have been changing up. That was the first time my phone said your name in months. Confused I fumbled the phone thinking you might want to see me, only to pick it up and have you ask me for a retweet.
Sick of saying what I shouldn't, but this wordplay is ill. 'Twas two nights before Christmas, Happy Birthday to Phil.

"You're not awake and that's probably for the better. Idk why I'm saying this to you. I just feel like I need to say it and I don't really feel safe talking to anyone. I don't feel good. I'm trying so hard. I think I'm getting better, at least externally. But it just feels like I can't do this sometimes. Life is kicking my ass. I used to see every day as an opportunity. Lately every day is another obstacle. I keep picking up the pieces and breaking down all over again. I don't think I'm making any progress. The feelings of aloneness are getting stronger, I'm getting weaker. And it's really frustrating. It's so exhausting to not be happy. It feels like someone changed the password for happiness and I just can't login. I'm trying to unlearn optimism because it feels like I'm trapped in a pessimistic reality. Each daily disappointment is a crushing blow that even my lowered expectations can't absorb. I'm exhausted. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry. I'm saying too much. Sorry for putting this on you. I just don't know where else to put it."
⁃ 12/24/16 3:26 a.m

Thanks for letting me break down in front of you, it helps me pick the pieces up for some sick reason. Surrounded by facades, searching to find what's real. 10 toes down, trying to heal. A play on words if you didn't catch it. So many people no longer seem to give an effort. Thankful for this written essence, my pen's a blessing. Whenever I feel bottled up, I send a message. Lyrical artillery, these written weapons make you feel my gifted presence. Slightly past midnight, thinking I'm done with this. Time stamp, 12:25 on the 25th.

Can't wait for church in the morning, I'm hype. Sharing my story brought more to my life. My only wish, to record what I write. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

                                                  -Swaggy T

                   




http://cash.me/$ShaunGeddes

To Whom It May Concern, 4 Your Eyez Only

If I could sing, it'd be a wrap. If I sing, it's still a rap, speaking real and spitting facts to conquer demons that attack. Turned my tweeting into raps. Put my secrets in my raps. My own mother wishing that I would keep things under wraps.  Far from twitter famous, if you show love I'm tweeting back. I spread love but I don't always receive it. Upset because I haven't been recording of recent so I'm not doing the things important to keep it. My sanity, that is. Loving family, no kids. Life is great. Plenty of people that would kill to live their life this way. Coming home to warm a meal up in the microwave. Another lyrical journey, follow right this way. Welcome to the song that I didn't know I would write today. Let me take it back to when I wrote this. Life is great. Loving family, no kids. A place to lay my head at night, mom'll make sure I'm fed tonight. My mind is sharp, the Benz is bright. So what's the problem? Why have I been down for months? Trying not to frown is tough. Seemingly a bunch of small issues but they're mounting up. I lost where I was going with this verse. Forget it, now it's done.

Bear with me, I tend to get lost on a tangent. The flow, I caught it and ran with it. When I'm writing, I'm really talking and rambling. I've been dealing with thoughts of abandonment. I just want to be recording and sampling. Shoutout to the ones who hit my phone when Shaun wasn't answering. '05 Kyle Massey, Life has been rough. I feel weak, but everything I'm writing is tough. The first time since July I'm posting twice in a month. Bumping 10 Day, nothing's working but my pen slaves. I'm tryna get my sense paid. Punchlines, I'm a sensei. Speaking on the record to set straight. I'm tired of that rhyme scheme, brighter than your high beams. Losing my balance, because I'm not fully using my talents. Unfortunately, I'm getting used to the sadness. Serving full course meals for thought but they've been choosing the salads. I'm tired, word to Michelin. Focusing on finishing the verse that I'm envisioning. It feels like there's no one here, and I've been missing them. 100 views on my last post, yet it feels like no one's listening. I'm not asking for a pat on the back, I know it's weird. But I just ask for feedback so that I know you're there. You taking the time to read my thoughts is greatly appreciated, so much so that I feel that I need to thank you. With that said, Shoutout to Leslie she said it was art. Thank you from the depths of my heart. And thank you to Maxo, he said it was bars. Facebook comments I forgot to respond to, so I'm using this song to. I'd like to thank you for reading the blog too. KP told me to never stop cause I'm writing her life. Christian said "dope as expected" so it's not a surprise. Johanna said "this was amazing and you're extremely talented" paint a picture so clearly that you see when it's happening. I hit a wall and brought you to the scene of the accident. I get burdens off my chest in rhymes, whatshername liked that Questlove line, makes me feel like I'm the best sometimes. Leanna said she reads them all from afar. I'm just saying thank you and talking in bars.
I told you I tend to get tangential. Painting pictures without a plan or stencil. I'm always in my bag word to that dam pencil. And the Knicks pin, I keep my team on my heart. Making my life a movie, but this scene is subpar. Yet original, no one can say they've seen it before. I'm trying to do it like it's never been done, but I've got meddling funds. Back in my soundcloud days I said I'm The One, but that was back when I did this for fun.

I'm on a mission
The bars I'm spitting
Eliminate opposition.
I really don't compare to the competition. Speaking my heart, offering compassion through composition.
Spit a freestyle at Art Basel that made people stop and listen.
Painting a picture, drawing a crowd. They saw the vision and I wasn't even talking that loud. I closed my eyes and just got lost in the sound. Comfortable enough to do it for an audience now. A bunch of strangers steady rocking to Shaun's verse, for those 3 minutes it felt like I was in concert. My first MC moment happened by accident, it was Lyte though. Chris said I killed it and I'm like "it was alright bro." Producer handed me his card, I didn't call him cause I'm broke. Could he really be interested in recording what I've wrote? I put my all into these quotes. Now my heart inspires growth. The amazing thing about this is it started as a joke. Oh wow, I'm smiling. I guess this isn't a sad song. Yikes, I'm sorry just realized this verse is mad long.

I actually wrote this verse last, to finish up the first verse. Shoutout to the irony. Writing everything I'm thinking, welcome to my diary. It's clear that I'm called to help. Stay with me, I put my life in these.
L i f e l i n e s.
When things are going left, I write rhymes. To keep me in my right mind. And help me get through night time. Dropping gems, there's no telling what you might find. Dreaming of the days of negotiations, Priceline. My pen is priceless, it's quite lit. I'm through with keeping quiet. You wouldn't still be reading this far if you didn't like it. I'm blessed and thankful but still unsatisfied with where my life is. Food for thought and I'm handing out second slices. Word to Trevor Noah, I'm a forever flower. The ark analogy's never over. Living life one day at a time and I keep getting older. So I've gotta take control of today, and let go of the past. I'm broke as hell yet I have a feeling I'm close to the cash, like Swin's father. My pen harder. Oxymoron, a bench starter. Was about to talk about what's wrong again, didn't bother. I'd rather make it write, mom made steak tonight. Last time Cole dropped, it changed my life. About to bump his new album, wonder what he'll say tonight. I know I'll have to play it twice. So watch the change again, watch me as I paint with pens. Watch me write a tape again. I know it'll inspire growth, I don't yet know the outcome. To Whom It May Concern, signing off to bump the album.

It's so cold up on this ledge. I'm trying to survive the explosions up in my head as I'm holding on by a thread. One step closer to being dead. I'm dying inside, truthfully that's been something that I'm trying to hide. But if I keep the scars hidden they will never be healed. Lyrical artillery, it's never concealed. So you know without a doubt, if I said it, it's real. A wizard with the pen I'm getting better than Beal. I hit a Wall like I fouled John, lost my mind then I found songs. So many people doubt Shaun, very few I can count on. I'm living under pressure trying to crunch time. The pen is my profession but I'm unsigned. Trying to fight depression with some punchlines. My mother rubbing temples as her son's crying, and she can't sleep through the night knowing he wants dying. My little brother looking up, his older brother breaking down. Crying out for help but it rarely ever makes a sound. Even those closest to me barely ever stay around. I'm rarely seeing faces now. It's getting scary in these paintings, wow. But nary see my face a frown. Still I live with a smile. I've been dealing with this shit for a while. I didn't cut it, now I'm switching my style. Word to my barbershop, these bars are hot. That's something that nobody caught. If you ask then I will explain it, or you can ask Phil or Jalen. I'm caught up in written paintings and torn up it isn't changing, I'm lost but I'm still amazing. Painting pictures, I showed you what I said. A soldier til I'm dead because I wrote you what you read amidst explosions in my head. Told secrets that I was holding for years. Raising my eyebrows to hold in the tears. I wrote through my fears. When writing was the only way I spoke to my peers. Pillows soaked to my ears. But I know that I was chosen, it's clear. Trials and tribulations, mired in my situation. Thought I'd be doing Uber but my drive had stipulations. I'm tired, I'm missing patience. I am the missing patient. Overthinking has got me feeling absurd now. Is my fear of a therapist because I break every word down? Therapist Therapist Therapist, it pains me to write it cause of the pain that's inside it, that was a pain I'd been hiding. Cold-hearted, now I'm changing the climate, S/O to anyone I'm making this climb with. My creative writing teacher saving assignments yet I'm still trapped inside this place where my mind is. Pursuit of happiness, I'm on a chase but can't find it.

I miss when everything I wrote was annoyingly happy. Back when Chance 3 taught me that just talking was rapping. Before Chloe moved a flight away. That was a tough goodbye to say, never told her I cried that day. As I sit here and write today, reflecting on my life this way. No telling what I might just say, I write it down like right away. I swear I miss my life in May. Then and now is night and day. At night I pray to fight this pain, I'm living with a slight disdain. Lost the greatest happiness I knew, it feels my life's been drained. Performed at my first open mic, hours before that night, got saved. 6 months of separation it's scary how much my life has changed. When "I want to die" was something I was never gonna say. Back when I used to hang out with Jalen like every other day. When I was falling in love with that girl and explaining it to Wave, then I explained it to the world in vivid paintings and displays. Back when I was driving to Orlando on a Tuesday, I didn't have a clue that by December it'd be doomsday. It's deaded but I tomb raid, then edit it in blu-ray.
I miss the days when I was writing songs for my girl. Today Shaq told the chat he figured out what's wrong with the world. Greed. I knew I had a line for that but had trouble to seek cause it wasn't in tweets. And my recollection of it wasn't complete. Something about trying to spread love in a world driven by corruption and greed. Look how far I've taken the pen, what do you think? When you read these words, what do you see? I spent half a month in the sea, and about a week of my summer in Greece. I was cooking up, check the blog I put em up. Back when Shaun was good enough. Told the truth cause I couldn't bluff. I came home from that trip, then my life fell apart. Wrote a whole tape on twitter as I was icing my heart. Cause it was breaking daily. One of one, you can't compare me. 10 toes down but lately I've been standing barely. I'm weak in the knees, and life's throwing hooks. I've written so many songs, I'll turn my life to a book. To Whom It, life was gravy as far as May Concerned and I was fully unaware that it was gonna take a turn. June was tough, July I left. August, dam my life's a mess. September brought up life or death. October full of strife and stress, I realized I was quite depressed. November the month of stifled checks, December took a dive in debt. Don't know how much life is left. I'm just trying to write what's left, seems every time I'm right, I'm left. I don't know the right direct...Shaun, fully vulnerable for anyone it might protect.

                                                                      -Swaggy T

http://cash.me/$ShaunGeddes

Trying to Be

My thoughts are running, I'm trying to concentrate.
I want to blow my brains out to give my mind a break.
Flow sicker than how much time it takes. My canvas is my sanctuary, I guess it's time to paint.

Truthfully I don't know where to start, so I'll just let it flow from the heart. On even my bleakest days my pen can glow in the dark. I'm in need of a flame, right now I'm growing the spark. I'm bleeding and even showing the sharks. They've gotten close to the ark. I'm pleading for safety, I keep feeling angry. I know my destination so where does this take me? So seasick I'm wavy, I mean so wavy I'm seasick. The turbulence in my mind has me in danger of sinking. Consumed by my thoughts hoping I can change what I'm thinking. Normally as I write I feel my anger releasing. My head hurts, this is something I should've said first. I haven't felt alive, is this an I'd rather be dead verse? Or maybe it's the leg work, to start making a statement because nothing that I've said worked. I'm sorry but I've said worse.

But I just got the beat from Ocean so now as I speak it's flowing and I've gotten the direction so now I can keep it going.

So where was I? Wiped tears from eyes. She FaceTimed me in the dark but she could hear me cry. Dammit, I'm showing weakness and showing secrets. My soul's still seeking and I can't even control my thinking. Hoodie weather, colder evenings. The pain hurts more than my shoulders even, it seems there's no relieving. Relief pitchers, could've made this a juice line. But I'm writing in the dark, it's more a recluse rhyme. I've been spending way too much time alone. I've been seeing true colors like a xylophone. This is something you shouldn't try at home. Wrestling my demons, every lyric's a belt. Confessing all my secrets, no longer written in stealth. It's been a while since I've hidden myself. Before they even hear a beat my rhythm is felt. They say I'm different cause I don't just speak on women and wealth. Then they ask about the line that hinted killing myself. There's no telling what I'm about to tell. I'm just telling my story, so truthfully it's about myself. Jeff told me not to doubt myself. He said you know you got it, so go get it. Don't worry about what any others say or doing it any other way. They don't know, you do. One day they'll see it. And I knew he was right because I just can't keep a secret.
I'M TRYING TO SHARE MY GIFT WITH THE WHOLE WORLD. My ex switched up but consistent my old girl, there's something bout those curls.
Okay I've said too much, I be in my head too much. I've been serving food for thought and y'all been getting fed too much. I'm overwriting, I'm over writing. I want to be heard. She noticed she liked me once she fell in love with these words.  Okay I've said too much, I be in my head too much. I've been serving food for thought and y'all been getting fed too much. It's the week after Thanksgiving. The picture I paint's shifting. It feels like my brain's splitting.

Turn my life into a movie, look how reel it gets. My heart goes out to anyone who can feel what's next. When you've become numb to the pain but you can feel the stress, and then it finally hits you that you're still depressed. Got rid of my skeletons, my closet's still a mess. 10 toes down, still upset. But with the pen I can still impress. I've been trying to heal and rest but I can feel the pests. Life's been bugging me, I've been missing company. Writing letters she doesn't read. Trapped in a hive of buzzing bees, wish I could say it doesn't sting. Made my heart a home and I've given out like a dozen deeds. I'm too open, I want to be through hoping. My intuition to end tuition and put an end to wishing. Bright as a television, my stories they tell a vision, my lyrics present a mission. I'm making a statement.  I've got nothing but faith in my savings. It's greatness I'm chasing. This maze is amazing. This hunger is displacing complacency. This page has awakened me, this anger's awake in me. This angle is taking me to a place that's endangered me. A few have forsaken me but I'm through with the slavery. Breaking the chains and making a change, displaying my pain. Don't care much for an alias but I'm making a name. Breaking the chains and making a change, displaying my pain. I had to say it again. I've found myself in this familiar place on the ledge. I can't rest easy, not even safe in my bed. Thoughts of bodying myself, I'm not too safe in my head. If I can't live the way I want...
Ehh, won't talk about it, I'll skip to another line. I hit rock bottom on November 29th. Time stamp, it's Maiya's birthday. Admire wordplay as I write my worst ways. The last verse is one I'll write on Thursday.


The lights are on but I'm surrounded by darkness. Still I step to my canvas, I'm an artist regardless. Searching for direction, I'm not sure where to start this. I'm out here trying to spread love in a world of the heartless. I wear it on my sleeve so they can see where my heart is, I'm losing my mind cause I don't have a way to record this. Chasing dreams, I've been posted up with Olajuwon. I love the pen but I've been yearning for the microphone. So they can finally hear these writtens that I write in phone. Lately even when I'm right, I'm wrong. I tell the whole story, I even write my wrongs. I just want to record this and hear "I like your song." I'm living this life for Shaun. Putting on a show, without the lights, perform. Spitting fire, bet the mic gets warm. You've got the pen, make it do whatever you say Shaun. This verse is a new day, Happy Birthday to Jaiwon. Lyrical artillery, these pictures are spray ons. Allow me to reload this clip. Motion picture, refocus it. Fighting tears as I wrote this shit, I'm drowning in the hopelessness and no one really notices. I've been feeling mellow like I coach the Knicks. I've got a gift and I'm just trying to make the most of it. It's holiday season, I haven't had the chance to open it.
On your darkest day, you're brighter than a flashlight Shaun. Trying to focus my drive but the Benz has the gas light on. How can I stay positive with my account in the negative? They're sleeping on me and they've got ounces of the sedatives. This is what the sound of depression is. Lyrical artillery, I found all my weapon clips. Resisting the urge to doubt Shaun, I've lost count of how many people I can count on. The number's dwindling, they're done remembering. There's some assembling, assumption semblances. I wrote the next verse as I brung December in.
Have you ever felt like you were too much and not enough at the same time? Ever said too much and not enough in the same rhyme? I'm breaking down, it seems no one really stays around so I give people spaces now. Sometimes I want to chase them down. Depression's got me feeling alone, guess I should face it now.

New day, new month. Happy birthday to Ki. Woke up to find out Cole's dropping, Happy Birthday to me. Cole dropping, like a bad kid's chimney. My passion's pending. If you click the link, thanks for any cash you sent me. Even if it's the average Penny. I give my heart away, I've been giving art away. Like I'm friendly with Xannys I'm giving bars away.
It's Almost Christmas and I'm looking for a Union, word to Gabrielle. Today I thought I'd be starting Uber, took a tragic L. I'm feeling like a loser and I'm sad as hell. But I'm trying to keep my head up. Back to the the drawing board, I'm wondering what's next up. Sonic journey, Questlove. My only request, love. Situations I'm trying to make the best of. They're sleeping on me, I'ma give em bed bugs. I'm trying to wake the rest up. S/O to the man who's blessed us. Hate school, the devil tryna test us. Been serving food for thought, I'm getting fed up. I've been fighting depression, I've got my set up. Dreams I'm trying to set up. Trying to get a check up, the flow sick. I'm sneezing through seasons and reaching for reasons. I'm searching for a sign but couldn't reach an agreement. Head in my hands as I was leaving the leasing (office). Got a ride from Chris, he tried to help make light of it. The urge to cry, I'm fighting it. It feels like my whole life's unfit. Yearning for the moment where I can get on the mic with this.
The beauty of life, every day we get to try again. Thankful that God provides my pen. Flow sicker than vitamins. Let me know if you want to buy the Benz. Making a flip, painting a pic. I don't like this scene of my life, I'm tryna change up the script. Lyrical artillery, it's coming straight off the hip. On a mission for the cheese to be as grate as it gets. Someone may need this so I'm not afraid to say I'm depressed.

Watch as I put on a show, pull up a chair for you. If you need a fan, I will cheer for you. No words more assuring than "I'm here for you." If you're crying out for help, I'll be hearing you. If you lose control, I'll steer for you. Having trouble getting over it? I'll climb the stairs with you until we have the clearest view. Stare with you. I face my fears for you just to make it clear to you that "I'm here for you."

"Life's much easier when you have someone to help you carry the load, even if you can carry it yourself." - The little girl from the movie "Almost Christmas" I just watched with la familia.

                                      - Swaggy T




http://cash.me/$ShaunGeddes

Still Sore

Sometimes I brag like Cole, sometimes I'm real like chance. Throwing punchlines in the ring, bet you can feel my stance. Every time I touch the pen I get these healing hands. I tell my parents look what listening to Villuminati can do for Shauny. Sorry I don't care for trivial problems, got too much on me. Killing me is what it's doing softly, I once had the truest army. This life shit isn't through assaulting. When you've been losing so much, you wouldn't choose yourself. Mentally you were losing health. The sadness you were hiding started losing stealth. Watching one of your best friends start to lose himself. And you can't say a thing because of the position he put you in. But he's as far gone as the places you took the pen. He's broken your trust to the point where you never could again. But when you didn't have a place to lay your head, he took you in. For a month and a half, and he never took a rent. Been through a couple bumps and bruises, never took a dent. Stayed down even when we were fed up and upset. At that point it's a brotherhood, that's better than a friend. The type to see your wallet out and never take a cent. Never fell out far enough to mess up the ascent. One of few who rode with me back when the Jetta was my Benz. And stayed around to see me turn the Jetta to a Benz.
 Am I trying to make amends while painting pictures with the pen? The window to my soul, introduced you to my pane again. Am I supposed to apologize to the people my pain offends?
I'm stepping to my canvas, I think I'm about paint again. Lost so many people that I got better at making friends. Ain't much to talk about with income but I'm making sense. Let me coin another line that never fades or bends. It's authentic, my heart's in it. The spark spitting and now you're seeing that my art's written. And that my thoughts gifted. How I can talk pictures, and I can toss pitchers. Because I've got the juice, you can't say I'm not the truth. I do me the best I can, I'm sorry if it bothers you. Said sorry to my pops in June, ain't talk to mom until July. For what started end of May, whole month I wondered why. That's when things got kinda ugly, late night sobbing, crying. Took the pen around the world, yeah my lyrics started flying. August I dropped down again, September dug up thoughts of dying. October was fucking terrifying, felt I lost it all again, felt I had to toss the pen. Lost my girl and lost my friends. Lost my own mother for a while, is this really worth it? Telling you the story of my life, and it's written perfect. The first time you're really getting to hear one of these written verses. Thinking bout the fact that I'm gon spit it and I'm getting nervous. I've got you flowing with my letters like it's written cursive. Painting intentions, this is my purpose. If you're paying attention you'll see this isn't worthless, and that the kids a wordsmith. I watched the apple of my eye become a slithered serpent. That was a terrifying feeling, but I'm really learning. That not everybody's built like me. Not everybody can tell you how they feel like me. Not everybody can really keep it real like me. So if she ever love another she gon still like me. I tell my story so clearly I make you feel like me. And you know I'll never change, I bet I'm still like me. A couple years from now after that first mil I see. When I'm dealing with the jaded and the jealousy. And when the game ain't asking "who the hell is he?" Josh at the computer producing therapy. Getting paper with J Rock, feeling Kendricky. Off these written legacies. I fed to feed and said the seeds, bled to bleed and read to read. Lead to lead. Mastered all my weaponry. Lyrical artillery, I lost my thought I had to heed. Came home to some Bullshit, you should know I had the heat. That D. Wade line make you think I rock a hat with 3. Probably something Chance would speak. Gave shorty a glance of me and now she always answer me. Can't focus on who don't call no more, just focus on my calling. Josh cooking up the beat, he got it in the cauldron. Soon as I finish this verse I'll drop it in the coffin. Hip hop & other genres, at Rockwell's recording. Jazz gave me the blues, guess I'm not that important. But I put my soul in everything I speak, I put my heart in every single bar I tweet. And this is all flowing out, one take. Not a single bar I tweaked. Moving forward, not a single bar deletes cause every single's bar's complete. Why we miss mates when we see its obsolete, that's the type of bars I really often speak. The ones that really hard to think, for the average person. I'm killing it but this is just one of my average verses. Old white faces, I've got really deep lines. Somebody ask Chris about that obsolete line. I'm gone. No room for that other verse, so I guess I'll just have to save that. Just know I'm back on the rise, I got Chloe and Wave back.


Told you about everything that's hurting me, there's still more. Cold world, I'm wishing that we could chill more. Flow sick, and shorty's the only one I'll pop a pill for. Been almost a year since the night I was raped and it's still sore. I take the shutters off and show you my pane. I was stuck in the storm but I drove through the rain.
 Dealt with the bad elements. Overcame a rash reticence, Surpassed precedents of past presidents. The future so I'm past present tense. Victim to their brash negligence, delivered a lyrical mass exodus of black excellence. I want the money yet I'm aware what the cash represents. Thought I had a couple wins, they resulted in asterisked attempts.
 Told you my past with the pen, as I presented you my future. Wrote my life story, if you read it I salute you. Cleaning my room, clearing my head. If you've been reading I can't wait for you to hear what you've read. Every time I jot my heart down, my spirits ascend. Every single verse I write is like a spiritual cleanse. Took a couple lines from the other day then took this verse the other way. Throw in a shoutout to Nae, a smile spreads as my cousin plays. Shaun's got a way with words, there isn't much he doesn't say. In pursuit of my dreams, left them sleeping in the other lane. Can't write this cause I can't spell it, I was thinking __________. I've gotta pay my dad back, I've gotta get my mother paid. I'm working like a lab rat on a job that doesn't pay. Lyrical artillery, no weapon that he doesn't spray. Gotta end this verse with something dope, make it resonate. Hit em with another hard bar, make it penetrate. Shorty thinking on my level so she let me levitate, met her now I meditate. Because of that a head'll ache.

What Happened to Shaun? (Prelude)

Said I was gonna disappear, felt I wasn't wanted here. Gather round I'll tell you a story, what you want to hear?

I tell the world my problems, so no one really has to ask me what's wrong. Lost so many I thought I lost myself, what happened to Shaun? First blog post in almost 3 months I have to perform. Sick handle with the pen but there's no handle on my passenger door. I don't really protect my rhymes, you see this passion is raw. I pour my heart and free my mind because I have to explore. Crazy I always had their back, but I don't have their support. Which makes me wonder if I really ever had it before. And I'm starting to see that lately it's been happening more. I keep sharing things with the world that I'm not glad to report. I've been telling so many secrets. But Tai told me so many need it, to someone it's reaching. Some people need it so I write for them. I write for me, I write for you, I write for us. I write for peace, I write for truth, I write for love. I write it all, I write for everyone, I write too much. I write for fun, I'll write for funds. I write for moms. I write for sons. Writing for Suns like a Phoenix reporter. Avoided her dad cause I ain't seen with his daughter. I fell so hard I'll always feel a need to support her. I'm tired of keeping it cordial. It's not the same and I can't be here to force it, tears leaking like faucets because she no longer cares to see what's important. What matters to me no longer matters to her, dammit I told myself I'd stop rapping bout her. Spilling way too much of my heart, it's like my nose bleeding. I was just treading water but now the flow's deepened. I'm soul seeking on cold evenings for no reason. Wrote reasons through prose preaching, scroll through and study those teachings. Cooking food for thought, showed you the soul's seasoned. Cultivating for the culture yet vulnerable to vultures. Shelves of food they've been shunning, while delving into adulting. The stealthiness has been stunning. Assimilating assumptions. Predicating production. Dre defensive as Drummond. Playing with the plumbing. Jalen with the junction. Cadence of concussions. Explaining literally nothing. 

Every single one of those lines means something you probably never caught. That was just me getting lost and shuffling through my clever thoughts. Fighting depression but for this battle I'm well prepared, catch me in the forest fighting a grizzly, better help the bear. So many people said they'd always be there that are never here. Treading water, the Sharks can smell the fear. My spirits were rising until they fell in tears. Silently hoping the help appears. But really who the hell can care? Very few people I tell I'm scared. My mother can tell, she's well aware. She held me and she felt the fear. I broke down in my mom's arms. It pains that they're all gone, I pray that they're all strong. 4th down and I'm going long. Hold up, where you going Shaun? Slipping in sports references? Save them for another song. Every time I spit, my story and the truth are told. Run it back off rip, Hester in the Super Bowl. Flow wishing and wavy, I well write. Run it back like Reggie Bush and Lendale White. Run it back with a throwback, U(S)C where the flow's at.? That's line art (Leinart), they sleeping on me, won't peep the way that I wrote that. I'm sensitive in my art, and I exposed that. Deep cuts of food for thought, these some cold ass (w)raps. I put my heart in these projects, word to Kodak Black. If you're from Broward then you know that snapped. Let me continue to run or throw that back. Back when I was 16, spitting 16's for Noelle. Before I ever knew I'd do this rap thing so well. Or sew well, cause that's how it seems. I've been rapping my dreams. These rhymes are well tailored, ain't a snatch in my seams. I was chasing tranquility but I was captured by screams. Simultaneously painting pictures as I sketched out my schemes. And as I'm typing I'm like yo this is really happening, I can really rap again, look at how I smashed the pen. I'm showing you it's Showtime, with the pen I'm Magician. I start feeling Penny and give my Heart Away. Oz told me be careful about giving my art away. Raising these bars and giving these bars away, that's Foster Care. If you caught it here, take the bar and toss it there. I'm ringing dumb bells, my mom would rather not read the stories that her son tells but I can't wait until the day her son sells. Out an arena, with fans clapping and screaming so I can explain through rhyme that I really rapped for a reason. Lyrical artillery, triggers clapping & squeezing. Cool calm, & collected, bickin' back and believing. Brought it back to recite that I really rapped for a reason. Amazed and amused by myself with O chilling, laughing and cheesing. I'm painting the picture so clearly that I'm making em see it. Cause I'm never making believe, I make em believe it. Told you you can trust me, then I made you a believer. But you can't tell me nothing, cause I'm telling all my secrets. I'm in love with my favorite and I'm telling all my teachers. Jumping in the game when I was yelling from the bleachers. Told you about my pain can't wait to tell you through your speakers. And I wrote them in public, you can tell that I'm a speaker. Wrote it and let you follow it, it's clear that I'm a leader. Inspired you and put God in it, technically I'm a preacher. I've been sending letters but they're never gonna reach her. Thought she'd be his mom but now my son may never meet her. Stories on the timeline, I'm lyrically a tweeter and every once in a while i sneak a lyric in between her. Feels like for months I've been lost on a tangent. I was in the middle of the ocean writing songs from my cabin. Lately I've been playing 2k while talking to Madden. Hall of Fame bars, I never play Rookie. I'm eternally grateful for where the Wave took me. I'm commonly taken for granted and it gets on my nerves. People have treated me in ways I feel I didn't deserve. Life was trying to test me, I was missing her curves so I turned my phone to a setting in which it didn't disturb. Make my life into a movie, flip the script with these words. Orange you glad I've got the Juice? You know that tandem is strong. Bars out of this world, what planet I'm on? Rambling on this tangent I'm on. I kill my sadness with my happiest songs. Got lost while shuffling through my thoughts so I gathered em wrong. This is only the first verse of What Happened To Shaun. 

Was feeling weak, I couldn't front. I didn't act in this song. Wrote myself out of depression, I'm back and I'm strong. This is the story of What Happened to Shaun...

Penny in Pompeii

This bag is always on my back, I've gotta cover the target. In the inspiration T-shirt that got all of this started. Fly dude in some knit trainers and some shorts that let my knees show. Training with the good for the fight against evil. They say all lives matter but it's clear they aren't equal. Reused that IG caption from 2 weeks ago but it's the same today. Making a movie in these Pink Flyknits, this is my Training Day. The flow's insane today, I can tell I'll be spitting flames today. But I do this every time so really nothing's changed today. I'm swinging for the fences in a major way. Chasing my dreams so long I think I need some Gatorade. He came along and saved the day so I know I can make a way. I understand my dream is rarely realistic, I'm nearly statistic, which will make it even sweeter once it's clear that I did it. That's the essence of a dream. These blessings that I've seen, have made it clear to me that nothing's messing up my scheme. I'm setting up a scene, making a movie, this is only a clip. My day is just getting started, I just got off the ship. I think it's clear that I'm true to this, gazing at Mt. Vesuvius. I'm currently on tour, but the bus ain't mine yet. My mother doesn't believe in the pen cause her son ain't signed yet. Vincenzo guiding me through places I had only heard about. Seeing it for myself is way better than word of mouth. I'm literally lyrically painting pictures in Italy. If you can't see my writing's grown, you must be kidding me. From Naples to Sorrento, and I'm amazed by city three. A place that I once threw in one of those Sixteen Bars, but thought I wouldn't see. "It's a tragedy, them drop dead bars that Shaun say, got everybody stopping in their tracks like Pompeii." Wrote that two years ago, I've come a long way since. I never force my rhymes, it's all precision and patience. And with that said, I had another line but I lost it. Might take a break to sneak in a nap, I'm exhausted.

I'm tired while touring cause Grandma was snoring so Shane and I couldn't get sleep it was horrid. Just left Sorrento, that was quite a vibe. Been two weeks since I pushed the Benzo, gotta find my drive. Make magic every time I touch the pen so I am not surprised. Spitting off the top trying to secure my bottom line. I'm schooling you and killing it, that's... Never mind I'm off that. Scrap it up and toss raps because I never force raps. Flow so sick that I cough raps. I went from hesitating to shoot my shot to getting the ball back. That's make it take it. I'm made to take it and I ain't taking breaks yet. Foul flow and all these rhymes are flagrant. It's like I write them in cursive, lines flowing. The pen took care of my pain. I didn't need ibuprofen. I'm not joking, my mind's high but I'm not smoking. My main problem is sometimes I can not focus. But when I do I make Magic. Call me Penny, I spit my heart away. I'm trying to turn the pen into a penny for my thoughts so I've been penning out my heart. It doesn't cost a dime, I'm just lending out my art. I'm looking back at mediocrity and saying adios, reporting live from the Amalfi Coast. Sorry to double up but this is a picture I've just gotta post. My mind's great when I concentrate. I show you my art, I write a play. Peep the pictures that I might display. Like you're pursuing these dreams with me amidst this beautiful scenery. I told you I'm like a soccer mom, I'm bringing my team with me. Creating inspiration every time I'm bringing this tee with me. Create inspiration from limitation, I told you you could catch me in this tee all summer. Somebody tell my parents that their son was bringing heat all summer. I turned all my IG captions into rhymes off the top of the dome. No longer searching for myself, I'm off of the chrome. I was in need of a revolution so I started my own. In about 24 hours it's time to go home, and I've really got my mind on the throne. Coming for the top spot, everything I drop's hot. I've been thinking out of the box, not tryna to hopscotch. I keep on climbing and I'm raising the bar, this is top notch. 3 months ago my mom asked me if I felt pressure to follow up the note to myself. Since then, the flow has excelled. Every time I write I'm growing myself. I'm focusing well and I notice it helps. And once I get my writing into the right hands, I know it can sell. It's like an out of body experience, I don't even know what's happening. I'll never forgive myself for the verse I wrote at the Vatican. I was once depressed, I can never be that again. Cause anytime I'm losing my grip, I just grab the pen. Bumping Losing My Balance knowing I'm head over heels. I'm learning to accept how you feel. For even our deepest scars, there's a blessing, they heal. I'm just trying to spread the love that I've been destined to feel. So I hope you get the message, it's real. That's even more important to me than getting a deal. That's something you don't have to question, it's clear. That's why I'm free from all the stressing and fear. I know what I'm for and I know what's for me. I never front in these lines, I'm all I can be. Frontline flow, I lay it down for my team. They're sleeping on me, I'm laying out all my dreams. I let em see it clearly, I'm laying out all my schemes. I make it clear so they can't say it ain't what it seems. It is what it is, and that's what it's gonna be. Well aware of the obstacles that are lying in front of me. But they don't compare to the ones I've put behind me, I had to get my mind free. Since I've done what I've done, don't tell me what I can do. Is it really MY best interest if it's coming from you? Nah. I'm doing me like masturbation. It's more than cash I'm chasing. I'm doing me, and if you're mad, you're hating. Life is the most important class I'm taking, it feels like every day's my graduation. I don't even know what I'll say next, I'll just use my imagination. I'm serving food for thought, I've mastered waiting. You see the flow so sick, that I added patience. Perfect timing with these lines I have the cadence. These rhymes so fine, somebody has to pay this. And once I get em recorded, they're gonna have to play this. Perfected progression and learned to love myself. I've come a long way from that sixteen freestyle with the bars so hot my tongue would melt or from back when I was sixteen and I used to rock the studded belts. Oh man, times changed. Shaun grew. We'll always have something in common, I love Shaun too. And if you're still reading at this point I love all of you. And since you're still reading at this point, I'll do what you taught me to.

I'm still tired it's been a long day, we just pulled up to Pompeii. That's how these words are influenced. I'm writing this verse from the ruins. Dust in my eyes as I look up to the sky. I've learned to never trust a disguise. That experience was such a surprise. I share it all cause I've got nothing to hide. But she doesn't need to be named again, I know I'll never feel that pain again, I've gotta thank the pen. What a relief. See what I'm pitching, yo that punch was discrete. Hidden punch lines, dig em up find, that I'm a surgeon with the pen, I precision cut rhymes. That line with the pen is relief pitching, only few would catch it. I used to say I was artistically challenged, now I know writing is art. I once almost lost my mind, now it's in line with my heart. No lie, I'm true to this. I'll blow up and shut the city down, word to Vesuvius. I'm mounting up for the climb, and I'm counting on these rhymes cause there's a fountain in my mind that keeps on sprouting out these lines. I free my mind and pen my heart away. I conquer my dark hours cause I've had plenty harder days. Still no alias but another moniker, I'm Penny Heartaway.

Nautical Miles

My mind can go platinum, a diamond of classics. Looking ahead cause I ain't tryna go backwards but haven't bothered to write because I might get distracted. Some lines I can't forget so I just write em in captions. I went from writing to rapping. I'm so wavy that I ride with the captain. This is a silent poetry slam because I'm writing and snapping. The timing is random. These are the lyrics that inspired your fandom. Cause if you pay attention to the kid then you just might understand him. 17 days from when I wrote this verse I'm lighting my candles. My 22nd, no timeout. Trying to crank this rhyme out. I've been writing in my head, I've gotta let em find out. I've mastered the pen, I'm focused on getting signed now. Got the Instagram picture but I can't post it right now. It may be noon here but back home it's 5 now. Everyone's sleeping homie and everyone's sleeping on me. But that don't stop me from writing and getting these dreams up off me. I throw these punchlines at the sandman. Not much in my pockets, I'm scrambling. If you missed it you think I'm just rambling. Painting pictures and raising the standards... That's high definition and I'm on a mission. You'd think that I'm writing these rhymes in the kitchen. The flow never stops like I'm washing the dishes. I often write things that I shouldn't mention. I'm striving for change like I'm writing petitions. Striving for change, pursuing a dollar. This is something that I couldn't do as a scholar. Mom thinks I'm barking up the wrong tree but I chewed up my collar. I can't be contained, it won't be the same. The flow is insane, I know I've been saved. No I'm not high but I'm smoking again. That means I'm on fire, I don't need a lighter. And her approval these days I no longer require. Don't care for her opinion, no longer inquire. It once would've stressed me, I'm no longer mired. She said that she doesn't like who I'm becoming. Mom, get over it. This is who your son is. Funny she won't see that, she's not reading the blog. She no longer cares to see into Shaun. Because I'm not doing what SHE wants for ME. So I'll keep conversation as brief as can be. I've got no secrets, why keep it discrete. Keep it disCrete like where I got the Beats. They're probably not real but I copped em in Greece. They play music loud, they're dope and they're pink. So truthfully I just don't care what you think. Headphones might be fake but at least I'm not bluffing. They're noise cancelling so you can't tell me nothing. Lines run through my head let me clear the Concussion. That was a reference to the movie and my strong Will, that's why I said it's got an accent. Go back and peep To Whom It's June I promise it's a classic. I'm not supposed to say that cause it's something that I crafted. But it's a work of art. If you observe my heart, you'll see I've found the light so I'm serving Sparks. Shoutout to Whit, she hooping out in LA. She used to ask if I'd be watching her play. Some of those FGCU days felt like doomsday. But my friends are what kept me willing to live to a new day. Now I paint pictures and they're sharper than Blu-ray. Last night at dinner I almost coughed up my soufflé. Oh I forgot, my favorite teacher taught me to use breaks.

This rhyme started as me just writing down a caption. And I took it this far now imagine, what I can do when I'm really locked in. Every rhyme is a highlight I'm really Top 10. I'm just here to assist like I'm really Stockton. John or Shaun, wow look where the time has gone. I've come this far in about 20 minutes, I'll try to make the next line a funny sentence, so even dummies listen. Okay I'm sorry that wasn't funny it was kinda rude. But if you're still following along, let me write to you. I love you and I mean that. You saw that I have a gift even though I kept my dreams rapped. That's something my own mother couldn't do, so it means the world to me that you did. She was my "biggest fan no matter what" til I decided to do this. Just goes to show that people don't always mean what they say. Because I'm not living for hers, she couldn't see it my way. But I won't risk my own satisfaction for hers. This vision is one I simply can't let her disturb so I know soon I'm getting kicked to the curb. I know she wants me out the house so I've gotta find a crib. So now I've gotta get to work and pray somebody signs the kid. These rhymes are Amber Alerts, I hope somebody finds the kid. I missed the road into Rhodes cause I overslept. Wow that's an Amber line that they'll never catch. I write it in blood, it flows from heart. I held the light and now I'm growing the spark. I was chilling with the captain now I'm close to the ark. Can I Mortgage this line by Stirring the Lingo? She really let me down, I thought our friendship was deeper. I did nothing to warrant that so I couldn't believe her. But I guess sometimes negativity gets the best out of people. But I still wish you well from afar although you fell from my heart. For over a year I kept these things on my mind, but someone just happened to retweet you onto my timeline. I'm speaking to you, the mic's my pen. Met a homie on this cruise who will remain quite a friend. When God places someone in your life, invite em in. That's kinda heavy yo but you just never know, cruising with a steady flow, Shoutout to Elio. I'll tell you more about him in other songs. Thousands of people on this ship but I'm glad he discovered Shaun. I posted this from his wifi, we connected at a fast speed. We may even hit the studio in Cali and start cooking up mad heat. I'm trying to be the artist of your favorite song. Mad heat, cause D. Wade left, now what you Waiting on? I'm bright as Watt, that's a Dion line or D-on line. I'm so cold I ski on rhymes.

Paused for a nap to let my brain cool. Had to keep it stable. Mind spinning like a dradle. Write this on a cruise and ship it to a label. Putting on a show, it's been two weeks since I've watched cable. They sleeping on me, it's okay cause I rock cradles. I'm liable to blow up, an active volcano. Please stay with me as I switch up the angle. Allow me to backtrack without getting you tangled. Actually nevermind, forgot what I was going back to. Dam Shaun you have a tendency to let your own rhymes distract you. Sorry I just lost track dude. Conversing with myself because there's no one I can't rap to. Rhymes sick, I'll let em aim atchu. Aim at you. Aim, a-choo. I'll live forever through the pen, through the think I'll remain tattooed. I'm operating on the same schedule. My rhymes on my time. Put on a show, Primetime. That's another Deion line, I still ski on rhymes. This all started as an accident while touring the captain's bridge. Living the Suite Life but still I can only imagine it. Cause this isn't my trip, I'm just tagging along. So I've gotta make it happen for Shaun. I'm on the move like they just passed the baton. I just turned a caption to song, spectacular huh? I love this trip but I can't wait to go home, cause now I'm focused on making my own and taking the throne. Things ain't exactly the same but I can't wait to see her. Some of my favorite pictures painted so I'll never delete her. Wave and Chloe are home at the same time for the first time in what feels like years. They weren't around to feel those tears but they're still right here. Those countless hours with the homie got these rhymes so fluid. Jalen's my left-hand man, we getting right back to it. And Brendon knows when I return we've got some catching up to do. The love for my friends is real and it can't be substituted. So I can't wait to get back to spend the time with people who love me for me. Instead of someone who tries to tell me what I should be. And that's a message that I wish you would see. This picture's complete.

-Swaggy T

Roaming Bars

Roaming Bars
I paint these pictures so clearly that you've gotta see em. This verse is colossal cause I wrote it at the Colosseum. Up close and seeing that building made it through tragedy. It taught me this, even what's broken can be a masterpiece. Hope is a drug and you know I'm the plug. I give out my Brand In Grams like a Laker. I'll chase these bucks until the day I meet Maker. Is that new money? Mine's a joke but it ain't too funny. So now I'm tryna make a move for me. And for the greater good. Move up out my neighborhood even though it's a gated hood. That's not my life, I never had to escape the hood. Ever since I started writing for myself, every paper's good. I'm broke now but I'm trying to see my paper good. So I feel it's time to leave the nest and spread my wings. Tomorrow I set sail across the seven seas. This is a movie, let me split the curtains. I felt guilty about taking this trip cause I didn't earn it. So I didn't tell many people where I was going. You can't hear me but you're aware I'm flowing. I'm in a colossal building, I feel my spirit growing. Ain't got the money yet but I keep putting Bucks in rhymes. I'm still Jason Kidd, trying to get my Bucks in line. And I told you I'll chase em until I meet my Maker, that's the 10th pick. Google it and see my pen's sick. I'm putting on a show, word to Netflix. Shorty from Jacksonville was evil so like Byron I Left Witch. Lyrical artillery, I'm loading up my next clip.

Shuffle went from the Mind Of Logic to Wiz's House In The Hills. Then right into Big Sean's Outro. Window open, my mouth closed. Mind running on the train to a city I never thought I'd be in. I feel these songs so much because I hear my dreams in em. Loyalty of a die hard fan, just want to see my team winning. So if I ever make it I'ma bring my team with me. This is the train to get me from one verse to the next. I had to train in these rhymes because I wanted respect. I'm always rocking Nike cause I'm wanting a check. My thumbs on the screen portraying puns in my head. Ask yourself if you would give up the buns for the bread. More important than the money is the love that I spread. I wear my heart on my sleeve, no need to keep on my chest. I know the answer is love, I help you cheat on the test. Just remain true, cause look at what the hate do, I mean does. Look at the world, we need love. I paint these pictures clearly, so I know you'll see em. Crossing the streets of Rome with the church bells ringing. I put Rome in bars without a roaming charge. I'm writing letters and I'll post the cards. I know there are parts of myself that I'm supposed to guard but I let you feel my pain because I showed my scars. So now you've caught the wave because you know my heart. I must be spitting flames because I grow the spark. An animal for the city, word to Noah's ark. No joke, that's him. Was used to losing but I broke that trend. Thanks to the way I stroke that pen. On the metro to a holy place. I know my purpose and I know my place. The pen is my needle filled with novocaine. I remember when I used to go with Chris to Nova games. I remember when he was the only one to know my pain. Now he knows it's changed because I'm wavy and the flow's insane. Now I'm balling with a point, I had to work on my game. Guess I'm an underground rapper, wrote this verse on a train. Walking amongst the people and the current is insane, pops stopped at the currency exchange. In my headphones Curren$y is playing so right now there ain't a worry in my brain. Well actually it's Wiz, I just had to make it fit. Making it rhyme for the sake of the line but still I couldn't stay with a lie. I keep it honest and true, I'm just so honest with you. Now I'm preaching to pursue all dreams. Cause through him I can do all things. And I'm realizing I've got the strength to climb any mountain, as I gaze upon the Trevi fountain. Dreams of millions but I've gotta start with making thousands. I used to only do what they allowed him. There I go in first and third person again. Putting way too much between the first and third verses again. This was supposed to be a bridge on the train, but these lyrics kept on kindling flames. I do this all on my phone, you see this art's my calling. Writing verses in Rome, so these bars are columns. I'll keep on springing til I start to autumn. So fly I'm up on Planet Shaun, this bar is a column cause I wrote it at the Pantheon. Holy verses like I'm writing the Torah. Bars so lit they can light the menorah. I'm writing right at the altar and praying that through these verses my life can be altered. Reflecting on that dark time made all of my thoughts bright. Standing in the Pantheon under the spotlight. I looked away as the beggar approached me, then grabbed a sandwich from Bottega Rocci. I'm not The Rapper but I have a Chance. Sick rhymes paint a picture of the ambulance. Let me take a pause as I slam the pen.

Behind these bars I'm a prisoner of this moment that I'm basking in. This verse is so holy I wrote it at the Vatican. I paint the picture but haven't yet decided what to caption it. No need to check the standings, you know my team comes first. I mean look, I'm at the Vatican in a Dreamville shirt. Between the two I'm still not sure which caption to post, I may just decide to caption them both. These captions are closed. I'm painting a movie, I'm playful and goofy but still demand enough respect to have a stranger salute me. Sick rhymes, but I ain't curing em yet. I'll pause for a second as I step through the security check. A Backpack and a Dreamville shirt. Rocking these comfortable free trainers, yet my feet still hurt. In these Nike tech pants that I wore to my first performance. Standing in front of this building and thinking whoa it's enormous. I paint a picture to show you it's gorgeous. Protected by these rhymes, the flow is a fortress. In my mind this is a hit before I even record it. I know I'm next, it's so in order. The flow is blessed, that's holy water. So close to God that I know his daughter, and I'm just hoping that she knows her father. I'm writing to you from across the world, I'm sending out postcards. The Vatican even resuscitated some of my old bars. "16 bars of pristine art like the Sistine Chapel" but I won't get into that. The 16 Bars Freestyle, very few remember that. I've come a long way since then. I've had way more to say since then. Look at the places I can take this pen. It's not all about dollars, to some that makes no sense. Did the bridge become the longest verse? I slipped up, forgive me. I guess I just saw so much on my trip through the city. I want to win, I'm tired of running up. Mom said sometimes we're so focused on the map that we miss the signs in front of us. And I'm praying we won't miss the signs. I'm painting pictures and praying they won't miss your mind. I'm not the first to paint pictures through the city, I aim and reach my target. So I relate to graffiti artists. This verse was thrown off cause the Vatican trip was cut short. We're going back in the morning but I need to wrap this performance. I backpacked through Rome, check it off the bucket list. I didn't have one yet, but I guess I'll make a bucket list. I'm a shooter that doesn't miss, check my circumference. Meaning I don't play around. This is my calling, I can say it proud. Any doubters I can spray em down, lyrical artillery, this silencer doesn't make a sound.

This is the first track of the next tape. A sneak peek of our escape. The cruise leaves tomorrow and the tape is called The Suite Life on Deck. Shoutout to Jalen for the title. I'm wavy as a tidal. Lyrical artillery, I'm aiming with my eyes closed. I can do this here in my sleep. I freestyled my last EP out in tweets and even wrote things that I hated to speak. Welcome to the Geddes Family Vacation, this is a celebration because I see the world is mine for the taking. I'm turning our trip into a tape. We haven't even reached the ship and it's great. I mean just look at all the pictures displayed. This food for thought is an ace, it's special when served. I won't have service on the cruise, you'll get the rest on return. I've even got bars on airplane mode. I can't wait for y'all to hear these flows. I can't wait til all these rhymes hit yo, but it's 2 am here. Time to let my eyelids close.

To Whom It's June

June 2^nd:

I kinda feel like writing something I'm starting to feel my mind just running. About to marry the pen, this is me diamond hunting. Ain't order a watch but I know my time is coming. And If You're Reading This you see another rhyme is coming. No trouble maker but I think I just started something. Me writing is my heart's discussion. So many lines running through my head I thought concussion... So this time the will's got an accent, Doctor flow. That line may have passed, hope you caught it though. Now stay with me...I received protection from the pad when they hit me. Them demons broke me down, but thanks to God they ain't end me. No CTE, my career isn't ending. I was once very defensive, now they couldn't offend me. I'm putting on shows, tell em give me an Emmy. Got sick of pretending, the signal I'm sending through lyrical bending is that I walk with God so now I feel my spirits ascending Wrote this on twitter but I didn't get a mention. Middle fingers to most teachers, I'm sick of your corrections. Going my own way because I'm sick of your direction. Can't correct this cause it's lyrical perfection. Ready to leave my job cause it isn't a profession. I was giving em bars, still they didn't the message. I'm sick of their reception. Sick of their reception for things they don't receive. And I'm sick of their perception on the things they don't perceive. They don't see that I've got a gift cause they treat me like Santa, they don't believe. I can stroke the pen all day, there's no fatigue. Can't put a price on my heart, there's no receipt. I'm showing my art, there's open seats. Rhymes so deep, they make you flow with me. Rhymes so deep, you gotta float with me. Lines so deep, they've got em quoting tweets. Rhymes so deep, you think I'm smoking trees. Rhymes so deep, you see it's poetry. Rhymes so deep, they made you notice me. Rhymes so deep, you gotta focus, see? Rhymes so deep, that they're in motion, see? Rhymes so deep, this is a show you see. You see it as you hear it. If you see it, then you're staring. I post it on the blog and let you see it with my parents. This is the story of my life, I'll record it on a mic. The story of the gift that I'd ignored all of my life. You're surprised that I'm this nice although I've always been polite. I'm making love to the pen and you just caught me with my wife. This bag is the only thing I ever copped when it ain't on clearance. I'm broke and can't afford to pay my parents. But I ain't embarrassed. Cause lately I care about one thing and it ain't appearance. I've got a vision due to great awareness. Because I'm great, I'm fearless. A rap genius, I display my lyrics. Right now I ain't got it but I am made to get it.

June 10^th:

I'm made to get it, I told you I'd be back. Displaying my thoughts for you, but this time it's kinda sad. Very little in my bank account and nothing in this bag. My mom ain't speaking to me. I owe money to my dad. Feel like a stranger in my own home, thank God for my brother. I can't believe it's been two weeks since I hugged my mother.I've been trying to hold it together but I'm falling apart. So much running through my mind that I don't know where to start. The pen tells me follow it's lead so I just follow my heart. The pain in my chest is feeling like I swallowed a dart. i give out food for thought, just toss it all in the cart. I just turn my pain into pictures, put it all in my art. Two weeks since a post on the blog. Two weeks since I spoke to my mom. Too weak to be broken and strong. Two weeks since I've been talking this long, two weeks since I've been talking to y'all. Two beats from a popular song. Two trees got me up in my thoughts. Two streets from pulling up at the mall. In too deep but still coming up in the fall. Double entendre again, I'm getting lost with the pen. Throwing up sick lines hoping that you caught it again. I'm getting lost with the pen. Her father ain't surprised to see me with his daughter again. When she saw the tears fall she caught em again. I'm getting lost with the pen, in the Accord or the Benz. She's on my snapchat dancing not knowing that I'm recording again. I'm getting lost with the pen, ducking 12 with half a quarter again. She's rocking my jacket so well I'll never sport it again. I'm getting lost with the pen, somebody please remind me what I was talking again. What I was talking about* Sorry I'm off of the loud. See me drive with this food for thought because it's offered to crowds. Oh man somebody tip the tender cause that bar was profound. You probably missed it, it came in hot like it was tossed from a mound. Strike one, keep your head up. I'm down now but I'll step up. Flow sick, I headed to the swoosh to pick a check-up. Another one, Khaled voice, surgical precision. This is a holy journey so these words are on a mission. I ain't splurging but I'm wishing, I'm trying to make a difference. Throwing punchlines so hard this fight won't go the distance. Painting pictures because I have a vision, of doing numbers like a statistician. Freestyles getting nasty and I've mastered writtens. Speaking so clearly that they had to listen. Punchlines violent, they grab attention. If you're following my heart, tap or mention. Following, heart, tap. That's let me know if you like it. I'm explaining what you're thinking cause I write like I'm psychic. I'm always with my girl, ain't got no time for a sidechick. Go from her to what? It took me so long to find this. Been on my best behavior since the moment I wifed her. Can't take her for granite, never encountered one like her. If you're not following you probably thought that was a typo. Rhymes coming so naturally I tweeted this one with my eyes closed. I get lost with the pen, this is where my mind goes. Time stamp, an hour until Game 4 of the Finals. I've got a vision of fame, tours and the vinyls. They missed the show like Pam recording her daughter's recital. See, See? That's an office bar. S/O to the very few that actually caught this bar. I'm not judging, just examine how I taught this bar. CC, office bar, I hope you copied the message. Or CC, like Pam's daughter. I don't expect you to get it. From even my closest friends I feel a distance more than miles. I haven't written in a while but it's all hidden by my smile. Got so caught up with the pen that I forgot about the pain. But that's all I've got for now, maybe we'll talk after the game.

June 19^th:

Gave you the title, then got back in it. See my gift, I'm rapping in it. No beat but I treat the pen like I'm scrapping it. I'm scrapping it, throwing hands or scrap it up & throw in cans. Trash it out, pass it out. If you following still you see I'm spazzin now. I'm spazzin now, the flow is on a thousand now. They once wouldn't click the link, but they're browsing now. Swaggyspeaks to Shaun, To Whom It May Concern. Now I give me no matter who it may disturb. Had to pause, freestyling with Jalen it's my turn.

June 26^th:

I was finding myself, and then they lost me. Trying my hardest not to burn bridges with people once they have crossed me.
It's really a battle, I'm sitting here baffled. I just can't shake it, sometimes I get rattled. They'd never know but I write it and tattle. Ain't spoke to my mom but I'm cool with my dad though.
Some things on my chest I just gotta get off me. So much on my mind & it's killing me softly. Me & my loved ones ain't really been talking. Writing my story but not yet recording. Praying for Bucks like a kid from Milwaukee. Got lost in my mind, now my cereal's soggy. 
A month since I walked to The Lord and got saved. Talking to God but not talking to Wave. She used to ask about all of my days.
 Showing a side, I don't often display. I feel so weak when I'm talking to this way. The pen is silling, it's off of my pane. Window to my heart, that just popped in my brain. This penicillin, I'm offing my pain.
Sick lines but I work in half an hour so give me a minute to hop in the shower. I scream in my head but I don't make a sound. Then pump the brakes so I do not breakdown. I can't show weakness it isn't allowed so if I've got a problem I figure it out.
 I've been writing this all month but some words are missing. It's been a few months since I've heard from Kristen. Now we've created a disturbing distance. But I was just hurt that she didn't care to observe or listen.
To Whom It May, they love you for your Concern until you voice it. So I become the bad guy if I express my disappointment.
 Cause when the question is burning, so are your choices. Situation is lose-lose, ask yourself what the point is. But you can't judge me even if you've been appointed. I'd give a limb for my loved ones even though we've been disjointed.
I just hope that they know it, that's why I wrote it. She don't tell me nothing no more so I never know where Chlo is. It hurt way more than a sting, to find out Chloe came home and didn't tell me a thing.
It was slightly depressing to me. But I'm still proud that she's becoming what she's destined to be.
Now I'm contemplating, like what is it worth? In the parking lot of my job about to call out of work.
I don't want to get out the car because it's storming and raining. I'm more focused on the days that I'll be touring with Jalen. I gave you my thoughts, I put em all in these pages. Painted pictures of my heart and I framed em. I'm just hoping you save them.
Look at what I wrote today. My mind's high, I haven't smoked in days. I ain't spoke to Wave cause I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

My mother's been cold & I just don't know how to break the ice. But I know there's still love cause she'll still make me a plate tonight.
Parked all the way across the parking lot with only rain in sight. 30 minutes late to work but I'm more worried about getting paid to write.
Call me Tim cause I spit my heart away like my son'll choose Michigan. Emotionally exhausted, I'm tired as two Michelins.
Speaking out my heart regardless of who's listening. Tweeting all my thoughts regardless of who's mentioning. I'm gonna stop this here, I haven't run out of words. But the rain shows no signs of stopping, I've gotta run into work.

June 28^th:

I can't find the words in my head so I'll just tweet em to you. Simultaneously talking to myself as I'm speaking to you. I remain transparent because the truth can see through. I'm trying to win but I'm getting tired of losing people. I do it for the love, I'm never choosing evil. I'm aware that my life's a movie, I'm trying to choose the sequel. The pen takes me further than my feet do. I tell it straight to you cause I'm out of people to speak to. ... Not completely but I'm running low. Cried myself to sleep in my mother's house but she doesn't know. Lately it feels like they don't care. We haven't spoken so they stopped listening, they won't hear. I'm the same me, I've never acted different. But they feel they can just throw me to the side when they're unhappy with me. But if you drop me, don't pick it up. I was holding out hope for us, this is me giving up. So get up on that flight and leave the city again. If the love ain't there no more, no need to really pretend. I'm never even aware of what city you're in. You used to tell me everything back when we really were friends. I would've given you a kidney or 10. And then given you a kidney again. But now I'm beyond written amends. The damage is done. That's a pain I never want to feel again. I see how you've played your cards so we've never gotta deal again. And you, nah I won't even get started on you. Because the Way you'Ve switched up has torn my heart up in two. I really hate it when I'm talking this way. I'm just writing the things I didn't know how to say. I'm sorry it may be a bit extreme but that's really how it seems because it's been a month since I hugged the woman that's given me my genes. It's hurting me so much that it kills me in my dreams. But nobody hears the screams because I keep them in between. Between my ears, me and myself. Depleting my health. I'm writing and running out of secrets to tell. I've got a blog full of stories that I needed to tell. Now it's become my résumé and I need it to sell. I've watched The Office more than Steven Carrell. I'm in my Office with these Words because I need to Excel. I paint a picture like a PowerPoint, clearer than the loudest joint. I've been writing for 46 minutes and haven't found my point. But I'm still searching for it. Put on a show, pull back the curtains for ya. I ain't got the check but I'm working for it. Working for a check, S/O my employer. I told you that these rhymes take me high as a Sequoia... Mom ain't speaking to me, why? Did I disappoint her? I legitimately don't know so I avoid her. So many bars you think I'm tryna get a lawyer. I'm just trying to reach the places that I'm destined to go. No one tells me anything, yet they expect me to know. It's been like 3 weeks since I got a message from Chlo. And she doesn't care enough to peep the message I wrote. Rhymes so sick I think I'm catching a cold. And I'm hoping that you're catching the flow. Never popped a perk but my weapons are pro. This is my call of duty. I love you if you salute me. Yet I dismiss them officers quickly when they recruit me. And I'd like to take this chance to shoutout my brother Phil. I'm proud of you and you're my brother still. I started to write you a letter but never sent it cause I wanted to make sure the words did justice to our friendship. To Whom It's June, now I'm writing rhymes a month at a time. I'm behind like 2 months in my mind. That's 2 months worth of rhymes. The blog's a mess cause Shaun's been stressed. But with this gift the Lord has blessed so once I write, it's off the press. Off the press, get it hot. Lyrics never getting caught. As long as I write I'll never get it wrong. I really love you if you're reading this because it's you I'm speaking with. You cared enough about me to follow me as I tweeted it. Follow along as you follow with Shaun. I might throw your name into my first popular song. My mind's running like it just got the baton. My mind's running but there's no track in sight. Cause I don't really rap, I write. Yet the flow mean but I promise you I'm mad polite. The flow is mean but it's far from average. Doing numbers, Shaun's a math wiz. Someone remind me to pick this up from here please.

June 30^th:

Okay I'm back, although nobody reminded me. Married to the pen despite the fact that no one's signing me. Could say I don't want to do this any-mo (Ne-Mo) cause no one's Finding me. Put it in parentheses because that's one only I would see. I once didn't want to live, now alive is what I'm dying to be. And I'm trying to live on through these words long after I'm deceased. This gift can help me live forever, I'm trying to snatch that glory. You're here today and gone tomorrow, like a snapchat story. Becoming what I'm destined to be. I once looked at the game thinking I could never compete. Just finished my dinner but I'm ready to eat. To anyone who needs some hope, feel free to get it from me. As long as you're on a journey, mine is never complete. Just focus on these lessons I teach. 3 years working in shoe stores, I'll help you de-feat... Any obstacles. Flow sicker than a hospital. More bars than a conjugal, visit. I'd love to travel but I'm stuck on my pivot. Crazy bar coming, some are not gonna get it cause these rhymes deep as if they're stuck in a divot...That's pen strokes. I wasn't up to par, I couldn't decide. But now I'm swinging for the green, take a look at my drive. If you're paying any attention you see I really can rhyme. The passion's flowing I wish you could see the look in my eyes. A couple people are looking surprised. A couple haters are looking to hide. Or on the bandwagon looking for rides. Keep the phony to yourself, I'm only looking for vibes. I'm in a zone that words couldn't describe. So sick Doc Rivers couldn't prescribe. S/O to Blake, he just offered me beats. Straight off of the tweets. I'd reply but this is something I've gotta complete. An hour and 16 minutes left in June. I've gotta end this soon. Running through my mind while pacing in my room. I was once sitting on these bars but now I give you stools. I thought I wasn't good enough but then the kid improved. Word to the title of the last song on my soundcloud, it's time to Take Off. The Office became my life, I never take a day off. I kept my rhymes locked and loaded, now I let em spray off. I was afraid to shoot my shot before so I was way off. Shoot your shot, that's the title of my first blog post. Follow along from there and see how the blog grows. The blog, my heart, my hair, it all grows. Peep each and every post, I put my heart into all those. I'm pressed for time, this is a special rhyme. They're sleeping on my dreams so that makes this an inception rhyme. This is in no way a fluke, I do this every time. A young black male behind bars, let's call this petty crime. But I'm focusing on my drive, this is Grand Theft. Might as well call it a freestyle, I haven't planned next. No really I didn't plan this line, or the one after that. But now you see I've got a gift, that's why I have to (w)rap. Flow sicker than an asthma attack. Before I started writing I put the bag on my back. A backpack and a dream, see I'm literally in my bag right now. That's why I don't how to act right now. I've been on a tangent since I started this rhyme. If I put my heart in this line can I transform it like Optimus Prime? I've learned the balance between my heart & my mind. That's something they never taught us to find. A mountain they never taught us to climb. I do this off the top of my head, just look at the tweets. Christian said this thread's got him looking for beats. Had a golf line about being stuck in a divot. And it's funny cause I knew Bryan would get it. My mind's running wild, these rhymes are savage. The next line might be a bunch of ad-libs. Yikes. Sheesh. Bam. That line was just a bunch of ad-libs. I'll rewind it but I'm not moving backwards. The flow is mean but it's far from average. Doing numbers, Shaun's a math wiz. I stopped here the other day cause Chloe FaceTimed me. Removing the burden of that pain got a weight off me. And now I'm telling you just wait on me. Cause if you with me before I'm eating you know I'll grab you a plate homie.
 This food for thought, this dude is Shaun. His mood was off. June was a rough month but he's moving on. It's been a month since I spoke to my mother. It's been a month since I told her I love her. It's been the coldest summer. She's so cold that I don't know how to hug her. I just pray she never does this to my brother. But even though we ain't speaking, she still makes sure I'm eating. Can't tell you the problem she never gave me a reason.
 Although this is a side of her that I hate to see, I appreciate the fact that she leaves a plate for me.
The month of June weighed me down but it didn't break me, see? Cause I can do all things through he who strengthens me.
 With the pen, I made rhymes from my scars. ‪#FreeShaun cause he's always behind bars.Or ‪#FreeShaun cause this don't cost you a thing. I've got you focusing on my notes like I taught you to sing.
17 minutes left to finish this rhyme. I'm trying to set my sights on my finishing line.
 Another 16 minutes left to talk to myself. No fed, but I'm stopping at 12.
 I gave you me, and I offered him well. But I couldn't have done it all by myself.

I just turn it into poetry. My loved ones by my side, God watching over me.
12 minutes to 12. I hope this penman can sail (sell).
 Once again that's penmanship, parentheses to mention it. Too much adulting is terrifying when you've been a kid.
I've used that line before, I doubt you will remember it. I never been the type to flex, I can't afford a membership.
My dad asked what my plan was and this is me presenting it. I think the blog is strong enough to get him to invest in it. And if he doesn't I'll be focused on my next attempt. Cause I've provided enough product for someone to see potential in.
Almost out of minutes I've got 8 though. Buster said I'm on a Drake flow.I know it's hyperbole, I think it's great though. The fact that you care to read and show love, appreciate bro 
. Been writing this all month but it was never rehearsed. And Ginelle you're not buggin, yes I'm tweeting a verse.
 Ain't spoke to Kristen in months but she bought me this shirt. I forget nothing, I often observe.
 Two minutes left. Too much to say. Shaun you had a picture that you must display. To Whom It May, yet I'm telling you what happened in June. KD to the Knicks, I think it's happening soon. To Whom It May and I'm finally finished. To Whom It's June, signed, sealed and delivered.
 - Swaggy T


           

July 7^th:

Okay I said I was finished, now the break's over. I lifted the pain off me, now the wait's over. I ain't need a surgeon to get this weight off my shoulders. See the game is College Algebra I'm taking it over.
 And then I'll take it again, you see I hate to pretend. So I started to alleviate all my pain with the pen. I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul. May have gone against the grain but know I gave it out whole.
That's whole food for thought, a whole-grain meal. There ain't a weight that the flow can't scale.
 Let's gather round and congratulate the flow. Follow as I let my imagination go. My imaginated growth, I had to take the oath to serve and protect the flow that serves em in every quote. If I can fix it I'm never broke. I managed to make sense while making up a word, so I know my brain's absurd. And I know I can't disturb.
Popeyes in my lap. I love chicken, not the birds. Popeyes on my hat, I turned this rhythm into words, & a lid into a tape you've never heard. I wanted to throw a party and celebrate with Grey Goose, when I realized Popeyes had the Minute Maid grape juice.
 
And so many other flavors I was tempted to mix every. I've got options with my juice, sprinkled in the mixed berry.
And added the fruit punch, cause I got these punchlines. Had to show them I was hungry so I gave out my lunch line. I held onto that line for years, I held onto that line through tears. I held onto that line for dear.
I want fans hungry waiting for me like lunch lines. Lyrics knock em out in single file, call em punchlines.I held onto that line for years. Ask ‪@yourmomscribb. Threw a mention in a verse, yeah look what Shaun did.
 With these sonics I fly high, call me Shaun Kemp. Held that line on my hip like a 40 but now I offed it.That's that Harrison Barnes flow, I'm here to do harm bro. I'll never be toting a gun but I'm bearing these arms though.
Might spit this with 9 flows, S/O to Rondo. Like ‪@flemrodd, he moved to Chicago.
Might spit this with 9 flows, front office flow, my mind's fire. But they just stopped Wading In The Water For The Whiteside.
Might spit this with 9 flows, don't trust 12, they all fire, but aren't quite fired. Black lives matter but they only see the white side.
I've escaped darkness so I can always see the bright side. Might spit this with 9 flows, I think I'm on 5?
Dam I was on 4. Bars hit like a Draw 4. Might spit this with 9 flows, so I'll give you 4 more. Might spit this with 9 flows, now I'm changing the placement. I'm off the pain and the anguish so I don't hate to display it.
 Now I'm looking dangerous. Might spit this with 9 flows, I'll make the 8th sick. All caps cause I've got potential to make the GAME shift. Might spit this with 9 flows, this is the 8th pick. Jamal Crawford with the handle, how could you hate this?
 Might spit this with 9 flows, now I've got my eyes closed. Dreaming of the day the Knicks'll get to the finals.
This caps off a perfect 10, what's greater than this? I used to only send my rhymes to ‪@SayItAintChris
. Now I share em all and let em develop with patience, so you can't say they ain't sick. My drive quadrupled when I changed up my whip.
I've lost so many lines and failed to follow a topic. But The system (Thesis Tim), I've developed every point that I brought in.
If you need it and I've got it, I don't want you to pay for it. I'm broke as hell but I'm about to give away a whip.
I may be broke as hell, but when I focus well, I turn my mind into a story that I know can sell.
I'm not even sure what happened, I just know I failed. But now I'm wavy as the ocean on which Noah sailed.No joke that's him, I just had to throw that quote back in cause I ain't had a chance to quote that since. Maybe you needed me, and maybe you're what I needed. Because it seemed like everything I said you didn't agree with.
I didn't see this coming. A nightmare, I didn't dream it. But I was terrified from the first moment I'd seen it.
Your presence was a gift, I'm sorry I couldn't keep it. I won't go into detail, that'll be our little secret.
Cause the love is still there. I think you know I still care. I hope one day we can be friends and you won't think it's still weird.I'm breaking both of our hearts, and it  makes me sad. God gives us gifts but doesn't always make em last. And I'm wondering why he had to take you back. He'll show me the reason I guess I'll wait for that...Just like he showed me the reason I was made to rap.
 And just so I remember it I will write this. This weekend I need to get my taillight fixed. Or 12 might be pick...Me to be next. Cause they see my black face like a ski mask. Two bodies in 2 days, I can't believe that. I extended Dear Officer, I'll let you read that. It's where you speak from, not where your seat's at. i'm a stand up guy so I'm speaking from the heart. To Whom It's June still coming, I'm just tweaking up my art. Very few things can break Shaun to cry. But now I feel every word of Drake's song July. The hottest love has the coldest end. It's not the same and I just won't pretend. I think we'd be better off as friends. But alas I understand it's probably best for you if we never spoke again. Almost got arrested with you now we'll never smoke again. But I'll never delete a single word I wrote about you. Because I mean every word I ever spoke about you. God placed you here so I know I found you. You helped me get through the things most of them weren't around to. If I ever told you I love you I'll never take it back. Cause now I understand that love is real, you can't just play with that. This is a part of me that really is a pain to rap. But I must put my heart in it to keep my brain intact. The pen gives me my clarity. The pen's what got you hearing me. The pen became my therapy. Anyone who doesn't overlook is understanding me. The pen has penned a masterpiece. The pen'll get me salaries. The pen'll pay my dad for me. The pen is my protection from those who may come after me. The pen is my protection over those that will come after me. That's a much deeper line that you'll have to read. The pen is my brush, I paint a picture carefully. I paint a picture carefully, & thank the people that were there for me. Remember when they wouldn't appear for me, now your ears can breathe. Let me talk about my life for a second. I got a girl and every woman in my life felt neglected, including her. She didn't understand the things I would do for her. You didn't understand that it wasn't you or her. I never switched up. I was calling out for help, you never picked up. So I got stronger on my own, much stronger than my bones. I'm even stronger in the tones of the songs up in this phone. Sitting in my notepad. Still don't know I wrote that. I'm always in joggers or basketball shorts, but I don't slack. I've got a blog full of gems, go ahead and quote that. I remember the days where I told myself that I won't rap. Before the touch screen days where the keyboard on my phone tapped. Now I'm behind my bars like I've got my phone tapped. ‪#FreeShaun I run on with 16 like I hoop with Novak. My shoulders can't lift a dam thing but I'm a dam King. Help me find a shorty for my hooks because I can't sing. I've been able to carry myself since I purchased that backpack. Almost went on a tangent, please allow me to backtrack. I remember the days where I told myself that I won't rap. Before the touch screen days where the keyboard on my phone tapped. Been writing since I was a kid, now it's grown man. Didn't believe enough to start, I couldn't have did it on my own then. I missed your birthday but could I ever forget you? Hell no. I owe the fact that I started writing to ‪@thenoellerose. . ‪@thenoellerose and when I realized I missed it I shed tears. Was too disappointed in myself to send a text so I said it here. But I'm gonna make it up to you like only Shaun can do. I only started writing cause I was sending songs to you... ...Cause you said it was something Shaun could do. Now look how Shaun's improved. You'd give me an idea to see what I could turn it to. Almost every day that summer I wrote a verse for you. I stay on my P's, you're currently observing a spitter. ‪@_normazing said it's awesome watching my journey through twitter. And Shaq James said, "dam you're doing it like this now?" He always knew the rhymes were kinda ill but they're sick now. And Shouts out to anyone who replied with the flame emojis. I'll always keep it a buck, just never change up on me. I'm not even really sure how many songs this. But I'm making it clear that Shaun can spit. Cause now I'm confident. And now I really know the game, I'm cognizant. So now I'm plotting on my dominance. Student of the game, not too great as a college kid. School caused all the pain, and I couldn't get my mind off of it. I turned my month into a movie, left it all displayed. Enough for now, I'll probably wrap it up once I talk to Wave.

July 11^th:

See when I'm writing I'm just talking my pain. If I don't get it off my chest it builds a wall in my brain. So much has changed and yet it's all stayed the same. My loved ones & I are all talking again. And nothing is really awkward or strange. I've been writing in a flurry. All Summer 16, I was hot & in a hurry. These flyknits so clean I can rock em when they're dirty.

July 12^th:

And still today I copped a cleaner for the 7, cause following his path is leading me to heaven. I'm tweeting you these lessons, preaching like a reverend. For my dreams is what I'm destined. It's no longer a question. He made sure that I prospered when I couldn't beat the weapon. Now I'm married to the pen, when I once couldn't see the wedding. Let me paint a picture you really can see. You freestyling in these writtens with me. She smiling when these lyrics complete. I show it to you so clearly cause it's vivid to me. So connected to my rhymes that I can spit em in tweets. Word, play around with that, make a sound with that, then break it down with that and break it down in (w)raps. Melo's about to have a big year, I'm breaking down his stats. Refuting all Knicks opinions with a pound of facts. I once was lost but I found the path. I was once a lone wolf but then I found the pack. Flow so deep, I drown these raps. But then I dig em up for you like "where he found them at?" I'm starting to think this is my favorite verse. I'm killing it so clearly that I couldn't wait for someone else to say it first. Not to brag I just enslave the pen, I make it work. To back it up I'll do a periscope freestyle on my way to work. I'm a cold blooded dude, way colder than you. With a really warm heart that leaves most people fooled. And sometimes my mind doesn't know what to do. If my dreams come true, then I won't finish school, Cause I hate it and have no interest to pretend I don't. I've explained it in nearly everything I've wrote.
 I mean written. You see the boy, he ain't kidding. He found the path he was chosen for so he ain't tripping.
He was working on his delivery but we ain't tip him. He was afraid to shoot his shot once but he ain't missing. All summer 16 he was heatwave spitting. He was working on his craft but his briefcase different. That's word to this Nike bag on my back. I've gotta let the beat breathe like an asthma attack.
I just told you about myself from another point of view. And I know my story's felt cause every single point is true, now I'll point to you.

July 13^th:

I'm contemplating picking this up from here. But second guessing because I wonder if I'm unprepared. How can I doubt myself? I'm the one, it's clear. I touched their hearts before I touched their ears. To chase my dreams, I had to run from theirs. I had to show them that their son was clear.
That means there's no more rainy days in my head. Cause I alleviated all that pain with the pen. It takes my brain off the stress. It takes my heart to my sleeve. So in this art I can breathe. I'm writing this in the car with my squeeze.

July 14^th:

This is food for thought that you have to eat. I touched your heart and we didn't have to meet. The blog is swaggy, so I have to speak. You know I'm cooking in these flows cause I'm rapping heat. Student of the game wrapping up a Masterpiece. Deleted the Mac & cheese line it's all too clear. Didn't want it to reach your eyes, kept it off your ears. I don't play Pokemon but they're seeing that Shaun is rare, through lessons I taught em here. Pulling up to work praying the mall is clear. Now there's not a single thing that Shaun can fear. I feel invincible cause I just stepped out the barber's chair. And I've learned in life you can't always get what you want. I'm reaching for the stars so my mother feels she isn't reaching her son. Speaking my heart as I just tweet with my thumbs. I dig out these rhymes for you and they deeper than slums. The Slumdog of the Suburbs, cause they feel I don't belong here. They write me off cause I like to rap and judge me by my long hair.
But I just couldn't really cut it anymore. I tried that life, I just ain't want it anymore.
 I never wanted it for me, I just wanted it for you. If You're Reading This right now, this is what I want to do. This is what I'm gonna do. These are things I'm gonna prove. You want the best for me, don't you think I want it too?
So who better to decide what's best? Then he who rode with me through miles of stress, and showed me where to find the strength.
Here comes another hot line, somebody call the help desk. Bars so hot the temperature can melt lead.
 But it's all good cause my ink is amazing. Observe the pictures that I keep on displaying. Peep how I keep rearranging.
I could tweet this and frame it. Like stay true, don't change kid. You've gotta understand this line's for you because you made it. I’ll put that frame on my wall to help me speak to myself. I haven't used my other account in over a year but I still tweet to myself.
 And I just did it in the middle of a song. These are my live thoughts so you're really here with Shaun.
Sitting in the front seat of the Lex that Jalen just got back. I should be at the crib cause my stuff's not packed. And we leave tomorrow for two weeks. Taking off to cruise Greece. I've got this whole project written, I've just gotta choose beats. I'm Swaggy, I do speak. Had to introduce T. I had to ball on my own, nobody recruited me. That left a bruise on me, this is only truth I speak. The type of pain I very rarely choose to tweet. But it's okay because I found what I was made to do. These pictures I displayed to you were focused toward saving you. Middle of July, I was supposed to drop the tape in June. But kept it to myself to let the tape improve. I've gotta win cause I hate to lose.

July 15^th:

I just served you up a plate of food. I'm running outta time. I've gotta make a move. Running late to the airport praying we catch this flight. There was a time where these visions weren't read as bright. But now they're popping off the page, and just dropping off my brain. Lost the dopest verse in my head this is not at all the same. I was pressed for time in every moment I wrote this. So pressed for time that I don't even know how I'll post this. It's too much to put together and a mess to explain. I think I'll send my ideas to the people that connect with my brain. Okay I've sent out the instructions, I hope they see the vision. I'm about to take off, so they'll complete the mission. To Whom It's June wrapping up. I fell behind, I'm catching up. The praises brought the blessings up as I got tired of messing up. Running out of time, but hoping I got the message up. A simple word behind that oh so vital message: love. And if you got the message and decided to post my vision. Make sure you sign it in the same place most are written. I normally end it with Swaggy T but I'm about to be out of reach. I can't roam with these bars so I'ma be out of tweets. I'll be in Rome writing bars on airplane mode and when I return from my trip you'll start to hear these flows. Because I copped the mic. So now these writtens will be brought to life. So many visions and they all were bright. I turned my month into a mixtape and I'm taking off to my next tape. I'm a grown man; they're finally seeing that's the kid's great.That's another Diamond line, way too deep for you to find in rhymes, I'm tryna find the time. The engines are a go, all checked. The next tape is called The Suite Life On Deck. That's all I've got, it's here for you my friends. Let's say a quick prayer that you'll hear from me again. Love. <3

P.S. Unseen (and undated) Gems from the notepad:

Trying to get it for myself so I don't have to borrow. Everything I write's a tough act to follow. Let me time stamp this part for you, the draft's tomorrow. Make the best out of today as long as I have tomorrow. Now I focus on my joy, no looking back to sorrow. I been through it and I told you about it. But now I've gotten my route switched, I'm on a different path. I could've been a statistic but I'm doing different math. So if you feel you're losing yourself, let me help you get him back (or her). Stopped here to lay with my chick, then I Rose and saw the trade to the Knicks. My excitement and joy, couldn't contain it a bit. Punched the wall in celebration and thought my finger had split. My team is legit. 

I've been on a rap high since I heard Chance's Track 5. Blessings reinforced my weapons, this is lyrical artillery. On a rap high, and it hasn't stopped hitting me. The proof is in the lyrics, see? Another level lyrically. I still haven't stopped spitting these. Praises go up, blessings come down. I learned to take a Chance cause every word he said was profound. Feeling like a Young Prodigy while bumping Kodak. Backpack and a dream, hear me and my bro rap. I've got the flow back, like my shoulders we both snap. I don't know if I've cited properly I've gotta go back. Somehow I just realized that Coloring Book has multiple blessings, I float for a second, I float with the penman... That's penmanship. Wrote it on twitter but didn't mention this. Multiple blessings, no wonder it had such an impact. Two songs in one, keeping the gift rapped. To Whom It's June, been writing this all month. The tape's got a bunch of freestyles and they're all tough. Write now I'm developing, I'm trying to get called up. Get into the big league, I know I'm made for it, so I've gotta slave for it. Dope lines, take a hit. 

Spent more bread than I ever do to cop a gift for my dad. Every time I put my backpack on, I get in my bag. A backpack and a dream, I'm rapping up a scheme. Captain of the ship, and the captain of my team. But we all making moves, word to relocation. Jalen and I have two months to figure out where we both staying. Lately I'm stepping up, you see my writing has jumped. My girl been complaining for days, it's that time of the month. My pockets weak, but they'll be strong in a year. Too great to be caught up in fear. Aired my dirty laundry, now nothing can hamper me. Started speaking up, now they're finally hearing me. I put my mind to it, now I've got the clarity. Certain lines where only the football fans are understanding me, I've got more heart lines than Brian's family

When it rains, it pours? Why don't UPS trucks have doors? Word to my delivery, a couple things that you didn't see. Wrote the rhyme on twitter, ran out of time to mention these. I missed Noelle's birthday for the first time in 5 years and it's killing me. She was the one who first got me started with these written things. Back when I was sixteen. Even when I was sleeping on myself, she saw big dreams. Now I display these pictures in motion clear as the big screen. I shed a tear when I realized I didn't send that text, even though I know she won't be upset. But still it's me that I'm mad at. Cause she got me started typing my first verses on that Blackjack. Now I've got an iPhone, times changed. Shaun didn't. Can't wait to look back and say one thing, Shaun did it. How could I forget to mention I finally copped the mic. Best $90 I ever spent, now it's all in sight. The Podcast is a go, Plug Talk coming soon, S/O to Ozzy. Because when it comes to me actually taking action, he got me started. He got the wheels rolling on the bus to my dreams. Because now they're more than wishes, we're adjusting the schemes. Laying the plans and then actually getting em done. I turned these into my craft although I did em for fun. And the mic is good for more than just the show, I can finally start recording with the flow. Best $90 I ever spent, that mic is about to change my life just like that bag did. Backpack and a dream, and I'm just trying to cash it. I've set more than a couple goals so now my life is a hat trick. I'm more than kicking it, I'm going to score. S/O to Tai he shows the support. He told me I was opening the door for those who needed hope. And at that moment that was something that I needed most. To know I have a purpose, I'm seeing what these words did. Flow so wavy you only sea if you observe it. Brendon hit my phone saying "it's been a month since your last blog post" and I appreciated the Concern for To Whom It May. A rocky June but things were smooth in May. So I've been praying for July cause tomorrow will bring a newer day. There's always another side so let's look at the bright though. I got the bag and the mic in June so what does July hold? With every month I move a step closer. At this point I'm certain that my Knicks will get Noah, look how close I'm getting to the ark. It's time to take off, it's time to set sail. As long as I walk with God I know I can not fail. My moral compass will be my guide upon this ark. I don't need a GPS, I'm just following my heart. Trying to get a lump sum or 3 off of this month summary. To Whom It's June, cold hears but this month's summery. I started the blog just to do it, look what it's done for me. I just bring all of my pain to the pad and let it comfort me. Putting on a show and I'm seasoned as Three's Company. I'm out here trying to eat, this desire it breeds hunger, see? Lyrical artillery, forewarning you shouldn't come for me. Because these bars vicious and every line can punch your spleen. Punchlines for the one time. Hey dad, see your son shine. Like I'm on the break with Nash, I know I'm made to last. I see that life is a test, I've got what it takes to pass. 

As far as the tape's Concerned To Whom It May is still my debut, but I'll give you these tapes too. These rhymes that I've posted are more like the post scripts. To Whom It May is on my hip, I'll keep that tape in the holster. That tape is the original, the one I stressed over. That tape is my whole heart, these are the leftovers. Now I find strength in the things I was once depressed over. I've become a champion in lieu of being stepped over. Tyronne flow, more raps than Toronto. I used to keep these to myself, I let em all go. 

Held the stage and their attention for eleven minutes and 20 seconds in my first performance. My 22nd's on the 12th of August. Tim Halpert, my life's The Office, I'm a workaholic. I'm finally seeing that my worth's enormous. Don't close the curtains on this. 

Got so familiar with the friend zone I learned how to put myself in it. The pen is ball point, it's on the tip and still spinning. This is perfection, so of course I didn't rush it. This feels way better than the days I didn't cut it. I didn't cut it, I wasn't cut out. I wasn't cutting, but I ain't dull now. These lyrical scissors cutting up an acapella. Hov even rose after the fall of Roc-A-Fella. It's all about reinventing yourself, back then I made a second twitter just to mention myself. Because nobody really knew what I was going through, nobody ever knew that I was going to, nobody ever knew what the flow would do. You know it's true, you screaming but nobody notice you. Them demons are moving real close to you. And you don't know what you supposed to do. You know what I did cause I wrote to you. You ain't know my voice but I spoke to you. I kept it so blunt that I smoked with you, and I told my parents I'm smoking too. I literally handed you all of me. Almost like you're writing these songs with me. With sonics I fly high, I'm Shaun Kemping. My second time using that rhyme different. I'm showing you clearly with my vision. Of me right here closing my eyes spitting. Mom look at your son and just rise with him. Shamelessly rapping, my mind's gifted. Look at what all of that time spent did. Just got lost in my head cause my mind went big. Golf bars but I don't play a round. I been on my grind, it's getting easy to break it down. Lost where I wanted to go, but just look at what I've done with the flow. Look at how I'm gunning to blow. Look at all the wonders I wrote. I was once drowning when I wanted to float. But now I'm swimming, and I'm one with the stroke. Now I'm shooting like they're running a zone. I once quit cause I was done with the coach. You can check the note to myself that I wrote to you as well. Yes I spoke to you as well. I wrote to you for help. Help me help you

Josh Koci saw me at work and told me how much I loved my own life. Cause he's even keeping up with the things that I don't write. He said "you've got a bad shorty, a red Benz and your hair's getting longer. I know you love your Knicks, and they're getting stronger. This is a conversation that you know you're gonna write. You've come a long way bro, I know you're loving life" That quote isn't verbatim but the words just appeared. It's all starting to connect and that's word to the beard. The growth is noticed by the ones who have observed me for years. As a man I've gotta conquer even the worst of my fears. I told you about the agony, the hurt, and the tears. 

Word to Derrick, I'm the Rose that grew from the concrete. You can see the rise in every word that Shaun speaks. Size 13 at 13, been a while since I had small feet. That's big shoes to fill. 

The iTunes featured artist of the week is a young kid from Pompano, anything is possible. I worked on my delivery but quit my job at dominos. Now I'm serving food for thought, hold on I think I've caught the flow. Perfection takes patience, this is my doctor flow. My mother got me sick with the pen, she's a doctor though. Learned To Dream With My Eyes Open, now my vision is the clearest. Had a talk with Fran about how to pitch it to my parents. I can't afford the dream because there isn't one on clearance. But I'm not caught up in my visual appearance, I've been brought up with this spiritual awareness. This is a lyric although you didn't understand it. Yo soy estupendo, I could have written it in Spanish. Oh wait I guess I did. My parents have special kids. I'm giving out bars, but they don't get the messages. The ones i love never question it. I'm working and focusing on my calling like a receptionist. 

I'm living with mad questions but luckily God answers them

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. And these lines in my mind make the whole world rhyme. Flow with me, I plant these seeds so you grow with me. I'm painting pictures of the places that you'll go with me. I'm the bomb, you feeling like you boutta blow with me. Hot as a candle, August 12, you can blow em with me. Right now I'm high, so the flow's ascending. And mom I told you not to read this far so... I lost my place, see now you're feeling like you wrote it with me, the flow's ascending and my mind is really open inning. I'm throwing out the first pitch, I could never swing but now I knock it out the park cause I can't throw more than 70. I'm pitching to myself. I've written so many lyrics I can give em to myself. They ain't see the food for thought, so I've bitten them myself. To show them the deeper meanings hidden, now they're digging my stealth. I just gave it out to you because I figured it helped. Then I started thinking big as XL. Double that, and fast forward to when I'm running rap. Oh wait I wasn't done with that so let me run it back. I just gave it out to you because I figured it helped, then I started thinking big as XL. The tape good enough to be an album but won't sit on no shelf. And just know I couldn't of did it myself, Or done it myself. To find me I had to run from myself. This is my summer camp pain (campaign, Cam Payne), I'm on a run for the wealth. See I was guarding myself but i just didn't want the help. I lock it up man to man, I'm never kidding myself so my rhythm is felt. Lines so hot, I think I felt the linen just melt. 

Triple entendre but you couldn't keep up with me. Check the parentheses, it's even storming in summer league, sports in my summaries. Bars scorching as Summer B. These bars high class, I forgot about Summer C. I haven't checked my class yet, I've been tryna cash checks. I know if my parents are still reading this far they're mad vexed. And mom I told you not to read this far so there's no pretending. No limits to the depths of the flow, it's open ended and there's no contention. I'm leading the coalition so I know the henchmen. And those who don't show love, pay em no attention. That's word to Tai again, verses deep as Leviathans. I know I should stay away from it but I'ma try again. This is a message that only I can send, and one receives. A letter that only one can read. I'm loving July the 9th, this day was great from the start. To feel the love, I just had to spend a day with my heart. The flow is no Joke, but you're safe on the ark. I can't change the world on my own but still I'm playing my part. If I put this rhyme together, can they take it apart? Crazy bars like when you play in the park. And I'm almost feeling like I shouldn't even proofread this. Because it's truly one of my true pieces split into a few pieces. We may never speak again but I'm praying that you see this, cause I'm a really open dude I've got less than like 2 secrets. I really miss the way I wrote about you a month ago. Only God knew where that month would go. Only God knew how that love would grow. I'm not even sure if Shaun even knew how to love before. But you're my favorite teacher and you'll always be. And I hope there once comes a day you don't hate me. But when I was looking in your eyes, there was just no safety. And I'm sorry I couldn't take you anywhere but I was broke baby. But I'ma fix that, I can't fix us. But I'll remain the same me, I never switch up. And if you ever need me I'm one that you can hit up. We won't speak but if you call, I will pick up. I'ma keep writing my story and praying that it helps you. I suffered that pain with you, please don't say I never felt you. Flow wavy my eyes watery as a well too. And I wish I knew why, but I know I'll find out. So if you're asking how I've been, I just wrote it. I'm out.