Time Stamp

Yan told me this beat is all me
They're sleeping on me, I'm giving em coffee. Lyrically coughing, cause the flow so sick. 12:41 pm as I wrote this. Lyrical artillery, I'll load clips. I'm buffering and shuffling, this blood in me is bludgeoning. I put my heart on a beat, my writing started as tweets. When I see how far I've come it's almost hard to believe. I'll try not to talk about the things that are bothering me. But lately there's just so many people Shaun doesn't see. The ones who were always there haven't been talking to me. Shuffling through my mind and trying to write my thoughts to a beat. Now I'm rocking side to side. Breaking down, but on my grind. Now I'm skating in lyrics. Fighting Satan in lyrics. Married to the pen, I've been dating my lyrics.
Time stamp.
I'm broke as my lamp. But still shed light in what I post with no stamp. Ones I was close to unclamped. But I've been winning in these writtens, see I'm chosen, a champ. Give you a dose of this dance, these are lyrical drugs. I'm moving dope but I ain't never been no criminal, thug. I'm serving but I ain't charging, I'm just giving you nugs. Lyrics portray my pain, you want to give me a hug. It's dope cause it comes from the heart, why force it? They on point too but they shorting you, Ty Lawson. I tie lines in. Bury gems so deep that you find diamonds. Spitting flames, Flow wavy as fire hydrants. Yan let the beat build and now my mind's climbing. And Berto's playing 2k, opponent just quit. I'm making my life a movie as I'm loading this clip. Buffering once again, suffering as I send. I used to always be happy, now it's tough to pretend. Until you hear someone you need tell you they love you again. This is really the toughest time to not feel love from your friends. When everything you try to start just comes to an end. Looking for hope in another scratch off, nothing again. My registration expired, can't pull up in the Benz. I'm driving my Grandma's Echo and I'm trying to be heard. Telling the world my story as I'm rhyming these words. Lyrically heating up, I'm warming, I'll go global. 80 degrees in Winter, I'm getting the cold shoulder. I'm sweating in December, expressing my dilemmas. I'm looking at the game like I'm next to be a winner. It's 80 degrees, Kristen just graduated. She shows me love so real we fell out and moved the past the hatred. Consistent role in a movie where the cast is changing. She hit my phone the other day and said what class you taking? One of few who moved closer when the sadness came in. There's just so many falling victim to the cash we're chasing. Following my heart, inspired by imagination. So much reality in the pictures that he displays. Can't sleep, I drove the girl of my dreams away. I never saw the day coming that I'd be seen this way. Where I'd be telling everyone the things I need to say. But now I see that this is what I want to do. You see I can do it well, so this is wish is coming true. Nothing's working right now, but these verses profound. Recording rough drafts at Yan's just rehearsing my sound. With these words I can wow. They're getting personal now. I've been down so much lately sometimes it hurts me to smile. I'm still trying to spread love, it's not disturbing my style. I've been going acapella on this verse for a while. This is just a rehearsal. I'm about to put on a show, this is just a commercial. Every time I pick up the pen it's a divine dance. 4:21, December 22nd. Time stamp.

P.S
A few thoughts.
So I recorded a rough draft over a beat up to that point yesterday that I was really excited about. But like everything else I get excited about, it fell apart. As it was being mixed & mastered, the file vanished.
That's life though, I've been taking the punches. I'm as open as can be yet still they're making assumptions. So many around me acting fake and presumptuous. I hated discussing this.
My brain has been wondering
What crime I committed to have to pay through this punishment.
It's holiday season, my gift's words. I hate to say it but if you're reading this, that shit hurt. I've been feeling down, so many have been changing up. That was the first time my phone said your name in months. Confused I fumbled the phone thinking you might want to see me, only to pick it up and have you ask me for a retweet.
Sick of saying what I shouldn't, but this wordplay is ill. 'Twas two nights before Christmas, Happy Birthday to Phil.

"You're not awake and that's probably for the better. Idk why I'm saying this to you. I just feel like I need to say it and I don't really feel safe talking to anyone. I don't feel good. I'm trying so hard. I think I'm getting better, at least externally. But it just feels like I can't do this sometimes. Life is kicking my ass. I used to see every day as an opportunity. Lately every day is another obstacle. I keep picking up the pieces and breaking down all over again. I don't think I'm making any progress. The feelings of aloneness are getting stronger, I'm getting weaker. And it's really frustrating. It's so exhausting to not be happy. It feels like someone changed the password for happiness and I just can't login. I'm trying to unlearn optimism because it feels like I'm trapped in a pessimistic reality. Each daily disappointment is a crushing blow that even my lowered expectations can't absorb. I'm exhausted. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry. I'm saying too much. Sorry for putting this on you. I just don't know where else to put it."
⁃ 12/24/16 3:26 a.m

Thanks for letting me break down in front of you, it helps me pick the pieces up for some sick reason. Surrounded by facades, searching to find what's real. 10 toes down, trying to heal. A play on words if you didn't catch it. So many people no longer seem to give an effort. Thankful for this written essence, my pen's a blessing. Whenever I feel bottled up, I send a message. Lyrical artillery, these written weapons make you feel my gifted presence. Slightly past midnight, thinking I'm done with this. Time stamp, 12:25 on the 25th.

Can't wait for church in the morning, I'm hype. Sharing my story brought more to my life. My only wish, to record what I write. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

                                                  -Swaggy T

                   




http://cash.me/$ShaunGeddes