Yan told me this beat is all me
They're sleeping on me, I'm giving em coffee. Lyrically coughing, cause the flow so sick. 12:41 pm as I wrote this. Lyrical artillery, I'll load clips. I'm buffering and shuffling, this blood in me is bludgeoning. I put my heart on a beat, my writing started as tweets. When I see how far I've come it's almost hard to believe. I'll try not to talk about the things that are bothering me. But lately there's just so many people Shaun doesn't see. The ones who were always there haven't been talking to me. Shuffling through my mind and trying to write my thoughts to a beat. Now I'm rocking side to side. Breaking down, but on my grind. Now I'm skating in lyrics. Fighting Satan in lyrics. Married to the pen, I've been dating my lyrics.
Time stamp.
I'm broke as my lamp. But still shed light in what I post with no stamp. Ones I was close to unclamped. But I've been winning in these writtens, see I'm chosen, a champ. Give you a dose of this dance, these are lyrical drugs. I'm moving dope but I ain't never been no criminal, thug. I'm serving but I ain't charging, I'm just giving you nugs. Lyrics portray my pain, you want to give me a hug. It's dope cause it comes from the heart, why force it? They on point too but they shorting you, Ty Lawson. I tie lines in. Bury gems so deep that you find diamonds. Spitting flames, Flow wavy as fire hydrants. Yan let the beat build and now my mind's climbing. And Berto's playing 2k, opponent just quit. I'm making my life a movie as I'm loading this clip. Buffering once again, suffering as I send. I used to always be happy, now it's tough to pretend. Until you hear someone you need tell you they love you again. This is really the toughest time to not feel love from your friends. When everything you try to start just comes to an end. Looking for hope in another scratch off, nothing again. My registration expired, can't pull up in the Benz. I'm driving my Grandma's Echo and I'm trying to be heard. Telling the world my story as I'm rhyming these words. Lyrically heating up, I'm warming, I'll go global. 80 degrees in Winter, I'm getting the cold shoulder. I'm sweating in December, expressing my dilemmas. I'm looking at the game like I'm next to be a winner. It's 80 degrees, Kristen just graduated. She shows me love so real we fell out and moved the past the hatred. Consistent role in a movie where the cast is changing. She hit my phone the other day and said what class you taking? One of few who moved closer when the sadness came in. There's just so many falling victim to the cash we're chasing. Following my heart, inspired by imagination. So much reality in the pictures that he displays. Can't sleep, I drove the girl of my dreams away. I never saw the day coming that I'd be seen this way. Where I'd be telling everyone the things I need to say. But now I see that this is what I want to do. You see I can do it well, so this is wish is coming true. Nothing's working right now, but these verses profound. Recording rough drafts at Yan's just rehearsing my sound. With these words I can wow. They're getting personal now. I've been down so much lately sometimes it hurts me to smile. I'm still trying to spread love, it's not disturbing my style. I've been going acapella on this verse for a while. This is just a rehearsal. I'm about to put on a show, this is just a commercial. Every time I pick up the pen it's a divine dance. 4:21, December 22nd. Time stamp.
P.S
A few thoughts.
So I recorded a rough draft over a beat up to that point yesterday that I was really excited about. But like everything else I get excited about, it fell apart. As it was being mixed & mastered, the file vanished.
That's life though, I've been taking the punches. I'm as open as can be yet still they're making assumptions. So many around me acting fake and presumptuous. I hated discussing this.
My brain has been wondering
What crime I committed to have to pay through this punishment.
It's holiday season, my gift's words. I hate to say it but if you're reading this, that shit hurt. I've been feeling down, so many have been changing up. That was the first time my phone said your name in months. Confused I fumbled the phone thinking you might want to see me, only to pick it up and have you ask me for a retweet.
Sick of saying what I shouldn't, but this wordplay is ill. 'Twas two nights before Christmas, Happy Birthday to Phil.
"You're not awake and that's probably for the better. Idk why I'm saying this to you. I just feel like I need to say it and I don't really feel safe talking to anyone. I don't feel good. I'm trying so hard. I think I'm getting better, at least externally. But it just feels like I can't do this sometimes. Life is kicking my ass. I used to see every day as an opportunity. Lately every day is another obstacle. I keep picking up the pieces and breaking down all over again. I don't think I'm making any progress. The feelings of aloneness are getting stronger, I'm getting weaker. And it's really frustrating. It's so exhausting to not be happy. It feels like someone changed the password for happiness and I just can't login. I'm trying to unlearn optimism because it feels like I'm trapped in a pessimistic reality. Each daily disappointment is a crushing blow that even my lowered expectations can't absorb. I'm exhausted. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry. I'm saying too much. Sorry for putting this on you. I just don't know where else to put it."
⁃ 12/24/16 3:26 a.m
Thanks for letting me break down in front of you, it helps me pick the pieces up for some sick reason. Surrounded by facades, searching to find what's real. 10 toes down, trying to heal. A play on words if you didn't catch it. So many people no longer seem to give an effort. Thankful for this written essence, my pen's a blessing. Whenever I feel bottled up, I send a message. Lyrical artillery, these written weapons make you feel my gifted presence. Slightly past midnight, thinking I'm done with this. Time stamp, 12:25 on the 25th.
Can't wait for church in the morning, I'm hype. Sharing my story brought more to my life. My only wish, to record what I write. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
-Swaggy T
http://cash.me/$ShaunGeddes
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Thursday, December 8, 2016
To Whom It May Concern, 4 Your Eyez Only
If I could sing, it'd be a wrap. If I sing, it's still a rap, speaking real and spitting facts to conquer demons that attack. Turned my tweeting into raps. Put my secrets in my raps. My own mother wishing that I would keep things under wraps. Far from twitter famous, if you show love I'm tweeting back. I spread love but I don't always receive it. Upset because I haven't been recording of recent so I'm not doing the things important to keep it. My sanity, that is. Loving family, no kids. Life is great. Plenty of people that would kill to live their life this way. Coming home to warm a meal up in the microwave. Another lyrical journey, follow right this way. Welcome to the song that I didn't know I would write today. Let me take it back to when I wrote this. Life is great. Loving family, no kids. A place to lay my head at night, mom'll make sure I'm fed tonight. My mind is sharp, the Benz is bright. So what's the problem? Why have I been down for months? Trying not to frown is tough. Seemingly a bunch of small issues but they're mounting up. I lost where I was going with this verse. Forget it, now it's done.
Bear with me, I tend to get lost on a tangent. The flow, I caught it and ran with it. When I'm writing, I'm really talking and rambling. I've been dealing with thoughts of abandonment. I just want to be recording and sampling. Shoutout to the ones who hit my phone when Shaun wasn't answering. '05 Kyle Massey, Life has been rough. I feel weak, but everything I'm writing is tough. The first time since July I'm posting twice in a month. Bumping 10 Day, nothing's working but my pen slaves. I'm tryna get my sense paid. Punchlines, I'm a sensei. Speaking on the record to set straight. I'm tired of that rhyme scheme, brighter than your high beams. Losing my balance, because I'm not fully using my talents. Unfortunately, I'm getting used to the sadness. Serving full course meals for thought but they've been choosing the salads. I'm tired, word to Michelin. Focusing on finishing the verse that I'm envisioning. It feels like there's no one here, and I've been missing them. 100 views on my last post, yet it feels like no one's listening. I'm not asking for a pat on the back, I know it's weird. But I just ask for feedback so that I know you're there. You taking the time to read my thoughts is greatly appreciated, so much so that I feel that I need to thank you. With that said, Shoutout to Leslie she said it was art. Thank you from the depths of my heart. And thank you to Maxo, he said it was bars. Facebook comments I forgot to respond to, so I'm using this song to. I'd like to thank you for reading the blog too. KP told me to never stop cause I'm writing her life. Christian said "dope as expected" so it's not a surprise. Johanna said "this was amazing and you're extremely talented" paint a picture so clearly that you see when it's happening. I hit a wall and brought you to the scene of the accident. I get burdens off my chest in rhymes, whatshername liked that Questlove line, makes me feel like I'm the best sometimes. Leanna said she reads them all from afar. I'm just saying thank you and talking in bars.
I told you I tend to get tangential. Painting pictures without a plan or stencil. I'm always in my bag word to that dam pencil. And the Knicks pin, I keep my team on my heart. Making my life a movie, but this scene is subpar. Yet original, no one can say they've seen it before. I'm trying to do it like it's never been done, but I've got meddling funds. Back in my soundcloud days I said I'm The One, but that was back when I did this for fun.
I'm on a mission
The bars I'm spitting
Eliminate opposition.
I really don't compare to the competition. Speaking my heart, offering compassion through composition.
Spit a freestyle at Art Basel that made people stop and listen.
Painting a picture, drawing a crowd. They saw the vision and I wasn't even talking that loud. I closed my eyes and just got lost in the sound. Comfortable enough to do it for an audience now. A bunch of strangers steady rocking to Shaun's verse, for those 3 minutes it felt like I was in concert. My first MC moment happened by accident, it was Lyte though. Chris said I killed it and I'm like "it was alright bro." Producer handed me his card, I didn't call him cause I'm broke. Could he really be interested in recording what I've wrote? I put my all into these quotes. Now my heart inspires growth. The amazing thing about this is it started as a joke. Oh wow, I'm smiling. I guess this isn't a sad song. Yikes, I'm sorry just realized this verse is mad long.
I actually wrote this verse last, to finish up the first verse. Shoutout to the irony. Writing everything I'm thinking, welcome to my diary. It's clear that I'm called to help. Stay with me, I put my life in these.
L i f e l i n e s.
When things are going left, I write rhymes. To keep me in my right mind. And help me get through night time. Dropping gems, there's no telling what you might find. Dreaming of the days of negotiations, Priceline. My pen is priceless, it's quite lit. I'm through with keeping quiet. You wouldn't still be reading this far if you didn't like it. I'm blessed and thankful but still unsatisfied with where my life is. Food for thought and I'm handing out second slices. Word to Trevor Noah, I'm a forever flower. The ark analogy's never over. Living life one day at a time and I keep getting older. So I've gotta take control of today, and let go of the past. I'm broke as hell yet I have a feeling I'm close to the cash, like Swin's father. My pen harder. Oxymoron, a bench starter. Was about to talk about what's wrong again, didn't bother. I'd rather make it write, mom made steak tonight. Last time Cole dropped, it changed my life. About to bump his new album, wonder what he'll say tonight. I know I'll have to play it twice. So watch the change again, watch me as I paint with pens. Watch me write a tape again. I know it'll inspire growth, I don't yet know the outcome. To Whom It May Concern, signing off to bump the album.
It's so cold up on this ledge. I'm trying to survive the explosions up in my head as I'm holding on by a thread. One step closer to being dead. I'm dying inside, truthfully that's been something that I'm trying to hide. But if I keep the scars hidden they will never be healed. Lyrical artillery, it's never concealed. So you know without a doubt, if I said it, it's real. A wizard with the pen I'm getting better than Beal. I hit a Wall like I fouled John, lost my mind then I found songs. So many people doubt Shaun, very few I can count on. I'm living under pressure trying to crunch time. The pen is my profession but I'm unsigned. Trying to fight depression with some punchlines. My mother rubbing temples as her son's crying, and she can't sleep through the night knowing he wants dying. My little brother looking up, his older brother breaking down. Crying out for help but it rarely ever makes a sound. Even those closest to me barely ever stay around. I'm rarely seeing faces now. It's getting scary in these paintings, wow. But nary see my face a frown. Still I live with a smile. I've been dealing with this shit for a while. I didn't cut it, now I'm switching my style. Word to my barbershop, these bars are hot. That's something that nobody caught. If you ask then I will explain it, or you can ask Phil or Jalen. I'm caught up in written paintings and torn up it isn't changing, I'm lost but I'm still amazing. Painting pictures, I showed you what I said. A soldier til I'm dead because I wrote you what you read amidst explosions in my head. Told secrets that I was holding for years. Raising my eyebrows to hold in the tears. I wrote through my fears. When writing was the only way I spoke to my peers. Pillows soaked to my ears. But I know that I was chosen, it's clear. Trials and tribulations, mired in my situation. Thought I'd be doing Uber but my drive had stipulations. I'm tired, I'm missing patience. I am the missing patient. Overthinking has got me feeling absurd now. Is my fear of a therapist because I break every word down? Therapist Therapist Therapist, it pains me to write it cause of the pain that's inside it, that was a pain I'd been hiding. Cold-hearted, now I'm changing the climate, S/O to anyone I'm making this climb with. My creative writing teacher saving assignments yet I'm still trapped inside this place where my mind is. Pursuit of happiness, I'm on a chase but can't find it.
I miss when everything I wrote was annoyingly happy. Back when Chance 3 taught me that just talking was rapping. Before Chloe moved a flight away. That was a tough goodbye to say, never told her I cried that day. As I sit here and write today, reflecting on my life this way. No telling what I might just say, I write it down like right away. I swear I miss my life in May. Then and now is night and day. At night I pray to fight this pain, I'm living with a slight disdain. Lost the greatest happiness I knew, it feels my life's been drained. Performed at my first open mic, hours before that night, got saved. 6 months of separation it's scary how much my life has changed. When "I want to die" was something I was never gonna say. Back when I used to hang out with Jalen like every other day. When I was falling in love with that girl and explaining it to Wave, then I explained it to the world in vivid paintings and displays. Back when I was driving to Orlando on a Tuesday, I didn't have a clue that by December it'd be doomsday. It's deaded but I tomb raid, then edit it in blu-ray.
I miss the days when I was writing songs for my girl. Today Shaq told the chat he figured out what's wrong with the world. Greed. I knew I had a line for that but had trouble to seek cause it wasn't in tweets. And my recollection of it wasn't complete. Something about trying to spread love in a world driven by corruption and greed. Look how far I've taken the pen, what do you think? When you read these words, what do you see? I spent half a month in the sea, and about a week of my summer in Greece. I was cooking up, check the blog I put em up. Back when Shaun was good enough. Told the truth cause I couldn't bluff. I came home from that trip, then my life fell apart. Wrote a whole tape on twitter as I was icing my heart. Cause it was breaking daily. One of one, you can't compare me. 10 toes down but lately I've been standing barely. I'm weak in the knees, and life's throwing hooks. I've written so many songs, I'll turn my life to a book. To Whom It, life was gravy as far as May Concerned and I was fully unaware that it was gonna take a turn. June was tough, July I left. August, dam my life's a mess. September brought up life or death. October full of strife and stress, I realized I was quite depressed. November the month of stifled checks, December took a dive in debt. Don't know how much life is left. I'm just trying to write what's left, seems every time I'm right, I'm left. I don't know the right direct...Shaun, fully vulnerable for anyone it might protect.
-Swaggy T
Bear with me, I tend to get lost on a tangent. The flow, I caught it and ran with it. When I'm writing, I'm really talking and rambling. I've been dealing with thoughts of abandonment. I just want to be recording and sampling. Shoutout to the ones who hit my phone when Shaun wasn't answering. '05 Kyle Massey, Life has been rough. I feel weak, but everything I'm writing is tough. The first time since July I'm posting twice in a month. Bumping 10 Day, nothing's working but my pen slaves. I'm tryna get my sense paid. Punchlines, I'm a sensei. Speaking on the record to set straight. I'm tired of that rhyme scheme, brighter than your high beams. Losing my balance, because I'm not fully using my talents. Unfortunately, I'm getting used to the sadness. Serving full course meals for thought but they've been choosing the salads. I'm tired, word to Michelin. Focusing on finishing the verse that I'm envisioning. It feels like there's no one here, and I've been missing them. 100 views on my last post, yet it feels like no one's listening. I'm not asking for a pat on the back, I know it's weird. But I just ask for feedback so that I know you're there. You taking the time to read my thoughts is greatly appreciated, so much so that I feel that I need to thank you. With that said, Shoutout to Leslie she said it was art. Thank you from the depths of my heart. And thank you to Maxo, he said it was bars. Facebook comments I forgot to respond to, so I'm using this song to. I'd like to thank you for reading the blog too. KP told me to never stop cause I'm writing her life. Christian said "dope as expected" so it's not a surprise. Johanna said "this was amazing and you're extremely talented" paint a picture so clearly that you see when it's happening. I hit a wall and brought you to the scene of the accident. I get burdens off my chest in rhymes, whatshername liked that Questlove line, makes me feel like I'm the best sometimes. Leanna said she reads them all from afar. I'm just saying thank you and talking in bars.
I told you I tend to get tangential. Painting pictures without a plan or stencil. I'm always in my bag word to that dam pencil. And the Knicks pin, I keep my team on my heart. Making my life a movie, but this scene is subpar. Yet original, no one can say they've seen it before. I'm trying to do it like it's never been done, but I've got meddling funds. Back in my soundcloud days I said I'm The One, but that was back when I did this for fun.
I'm on a mission
The bars I'm spitting
Eliminate opposition.
I really don't compare to the competition. Speaking my heart, offering compassion through composition.
Spit a freestyle at Art Basel that made people stop and listen.
Painting a picture, drawing a crowd. They saw the vision and I wasn't even talking that loud. I closed my eyes and just got lost in the sound. Comfortable enough to do it for an audience now. A bunch of strangers steady rocking to Shaun's verse, for those 3 minutes it felt like I was in concert. My first MC moment happened by accident, it was Lyte though. Chris said I killed it and I'm like "it was alright bro." Producer handed me his card, I didn't call him cause I'm broke. Could he really be interested in recording what I've wrote? I put my all into these quotes. Now my heart inspires growth. The amazing thing about this is it started as a joke. Oh wow, I'm smiling. I guess this isn't a sad song. Yikes, I'm sorry just realized this verse is mad long.
I actually wrote this verse last, to finish up the first verse. Shoutout to the irony. Writing everything I'm thinking, welcome to my diary. It's clear that I'm called to help. Stay with me, I put my life in these.
L i f e l i n e s.
When things are going left, I write rhymes. To keep me in my right mind. And help me get through night time. Dropping gems, there's no telling what you might find. Dreaming of the days of negotiations, Priceline. My pen is priceless, it's quite lit. I'm through with keeping quiet. You wouldn't still be reading this far if you didn't like it. I'm blessed and thankful but still unsatisfied with where my life is. Food for thought and I'm handing out second slices. Word to Trevor Noah, I'm a forever flower. The ark analogy's never over. Living life one day at a time and I keep getting older. So I've gotta take control of today, and let go of the past. I'm broke as hell yet I have a feeling I'm close to the cash, like Swin's father. My pen harder. Oxymoron, a bench starter. Was about to talk about what's wrong again, didn't bother. I'd rather make it write, mom made steak tonight. Last time Cole dropped, it changed my life. About to bump his new album, wonder what he'll say tonight. I know I'll have to play it twice. So watch the change again, watch me as I paint with pens. Watch me write a tape again. I know it'll inspire growth, I don't yet know the outcome. To Whom It May Concern, signing off to bump the album.
It's so cold up on this ledge. I'm trying to survive the explosions up in my head as I'm holding on by a thread. One step closer to being dead. I'm dying inside, truthfully that's been something that I'm trying to hide. But if I keep the scars hidden they will never be healed. Lyrical artillery, it's never concealed. So you know without a doubt, if I said it, it's real. A wizard with the pen I'm getting better than Beal. I hit a Wall like I fouled John, lost my mind then I found songs. So many people doubt Shaun, very few I can count on. I'm living under pressure trying to crunch time. The pen is my profession but I'm unsigned. Trying to fight depression with some punchlines. My mother rubbing temples as her son's crying, and she can't sleep through the night knowing he wants dying. My little brother looking up, his older brother breaking down. Crying out for help but it rarely ever makes a sound. Even those closest to me barely ever stay around. I'm rarely seeing faces now. It's getting scary in these paintings, wow. But nary see my face a frown. Still I live with a smile. I've been dealing with this shit for a while. I didn't cut it, now I'm switching my style. Word to my barbershop, these bars are hot. That's something that nobody caught. If you ask then I will explain it, or you can ask Phil or Jalen. I'm caught up in written paintings and torn up it isn't changing, I'm lost but I'm still amazing. Painting pictures, I showed you what I said. A soldier til I'm dead because I wrote you what you read amidst explosions in my head. Told secrets that I was holding for years. Raising my eyebrows to hold in the tears. I wrote through my fears. When writing was the only way I spoke to my peers. Pillows soaked to my ears. But I know that I was chosen, it's clear. Trials and tribulations, mired in my situation. Thought I'd be doing Uber but my drive had stipulations. I'm tired, I'm missing patience. I am the missing patient. Overthinking has got me feeling absurd now. Is my fear of a therapist because I break every word down? Therapist Therapist Therapist, it pains me to write it cause of the pain that's inside it, that was a pain I'd been hiding. Cold-hearted, now I'm changing the climate, S/O to anyone I'm making this climb with. My creative writing teacher saving assignments yet I'm still trapped inside this place where my mind is. Pursuit of happiness, I'm on a chase but can't find it.
I miss when everything I wrote was annoyingly happy. Back when Chance 3 taught me that just talking was rapping. Before Chloe moved a flight away. That was a tough goodbye to say, never told her I cried that day. As I sit here and write today, reflecting on my life this way. No telling what I might just say, I write it down like right away. I swear I miss my life in May. Then and now is night and day. At night I pray to fight this pain, I'm living with a slight disdain. Lost the greatest happiness I knew, it feels my life's been drained. Performed at my first open mic, hours before that night, got saved. 6 months of separation it's scary how much my life has changed. When "I want to die" was something I was never gonna say. Back when I used to hang out with Jalen like every other day. When I was falling in love with that girl and explaining it to Wave, then I explained it to the world in vivid paintings and displays. Back when I was driving to Orlando on a Tuesday, I didn't have a clue that by December it'd be doomsday. It's deaded but I tomb raid, then edit it in blu-ray.
I miss the days when I was writing songs for my girl. Today Shaq told the chat he figured out what's wrong with the world. Greed. I knew I had a line for that but had trouble to seek cause it wasn't in tweets. And my recollection of it wasn't complete. Something about trying to spread love in a world driven by corruption and greed. Look how far I've taken the pen, what do you think? When you read these words, what do you see? I spent half a month in the sea, and about a week of my summer in Greece. I was cooking up, check the blog I put em up. Back when Shaun was good enough. Told the truth cause I couldn't bluff. I came home from that trip, then my life fell apart. Wrote a whole tape on twitter as I was icing my heart. Cause it was breaking daily. One of one, you can't compare me. 10 toes down but lately I've been standing barely. I'm weak in the knees, and life's throwing hooks. I've written so many songs, I'll turn my life to a book. To Whom It, life was gravy as far as May Concerned and I was fully unaware that it was gonna take a turn. June was tough, July I left. August, dam my life's a mess. September brought up life or death. October full of strife and stress, I realized I was quite depressed. November the month of stifled checks, December took a dive in debt. Don't know how much life is left. I'm just trying to write what's left, seems every time I'm right, I'm left. I don't know the right direct...Shaun, fully vulnerable for anyone it might protect.
-Swaggy T
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Trying to Be
My thoughts are running, I'm trying to concentrate.
I want to blow my brains out to give my mind a break.
Flow sicker than how much time it takes. My canvas is my sanctuary, I guess it's time to paint.
Truthfully I don't know where to start, so I'll just let it flow from the heart. On even my bleakest days my pen can glow in the dark. I'm in need of a flame, right now I'm growing the spark. I'm bleeding and even showing the sharks. They've gotten close to the ark. I'm pleading for safety, I keep feeling angry. I know my destination so where does this take me? So seasick I'm wavy, I mean so wavy I'm seasick. The turbulence in my mind has me in danger of sinking. Consumed by my thoughts hoping I can change what I'm thinking. Normally as I write I feel my anger releasing. My head hurts, this is something I should've said first. I haven't felt alive, is this an I'd rather be dead verse? Or maybe it's the leg work, to start making a statement because nothing that I've said worked. I'm sorry but I've said worse.
But I just got the beat from Ocean so now as I speak it's flowing and I've gotten the direction so now I can keep it going.
So where was I? Wiped tears from eyes. She FaceTimed me in the dark but she could hear me cry. Dammit, I'm showing weakness and showing secrets. My soul's still seeking and I can't even control my thinking. Hoodie weather, colder evenings. The pain hurts more than my shoulders even, it seems there's no relieving. Relief pitchers, could've made this a juice line. But I'm writing in the dark, it's more a recluse rhyme. I've been spending way too much time alone. I've been seeing true colors like a xylophone. This is something you shouldn't try at home. Wrestling my demons, every lyric's a belt. Confessing all my secrets, no longer written in stealth. It's been a while since I've hidden myself. Before they even hear a beat my rhythm is felt. They say I'm different cause I don't just speak on women and wealth. Then they ask about the line that hinted killing myself. There's no telling what I'm about to tell. I'm just telling my story, so truthfully it's about myself. Jeff told me not to doubt myself. He said you know you got it, so go get it. Don't worry about what any others say or doing it any other way. They don't know, you do. One day they'll see it. And I knew he was right because I just can't keep a secret.
I'M TRYING TO SHARE MY GIFT WITH THE WHOLE WORLD. My ex switched up but consistent my old girl, there's something bout those curls.
Okay I've said too much, I be in my head too much. I've been serving food for thought and y'all been getting fed too much. I'm overwriting, I'm over writing. I want to be heard. She noticed she liked me once she fell in love with these words. Okay I've said too much, I be in my head too much. I've been serving food for thought and y'all been getting fed too much. It's the week after Thanksgiving. The picture I paint's shifting. It feels like my brain's splitting.
Turn my life into a movie, look how reel it gets. My heart goes out to anyone who can feel what's next. When you've become numb to the pain but you can feel the stress, and then it finally hits you that you're still depressed. Got rid of my skeletons, my closet's still a mess. 10 toes down, still upset. But with the pen I can still impress. I've been trying to heal and rest but I can feel the pests. Life's been bugging me, I've been missing company. Writing letters she doesn't read. Trapped in a hive of buzzing bees, wish I could say it doesn't sting. Made my heart a home and I've given out like a dozen deeds. I'm too open, I want to be through hoping. My intuition to end tuition and put an end to wishing. Bright as a television, my stories they tell a vision, my lyrics present a mission. I'm making a statement. I've got nothing but faith in my savings. It's greatness I'm chasing. This maze is amazing. This hunger is displacing complacency. This page has awakened me, this anger's awake in me. This angle is taking me to a place that's endangered me. A few have forsaken me but I'm through with the slavery. Breaking the chains and making a change, displaying my pain. Don't care much for an alias but I'm making a name. Breaking the chains and making a change, displaying my pain. I had to say it again. I've found myself in this familiar place on the ledge. I can't rest easy, not even safe in my bed. Thoughts of bodying myself, I'm not too safe in my head. If I can't live the way I want...
Ehh, won't talk about it, I'll skip to another line. I hit rock bottom on November 29th. Time stamp, it's Maiya's birthday. Admire wordplay as I write my worst ways. The last verse is one I'll write on Thursday.
The lights are on but I'm surrounded by darkness. Still I step to my canvas, I'm an artist regardless. Searching for direction, I'm not sure where to start this. I'm out here trying to spread love in a world of the heartless. I wear it on my sleeve so they can see where my heart is, I'm losing my mind cause I don't have a way to record this. Chasing dreams, I've been posted up with Olajuwon. I love the pen but I've been yearning for the microphone. So they can finally hear these writtens that I write in phone. Lately even when I'm right, I'm wrong. I tell the whole story, I even write my wrongs. I just want to record this and hear "I like your song." I'm living this life for Shaun. Putting on a show, without the lights, perform. Spitting fire, bet the mic gets warm. You've got the pen, make it do whatever you say Shaun. This verse is a new day, Happy Birthday to Jaiwon. Lyrical artillery, these pictures are spray ons. Allow me to reload this clip. Motion picture, refocus it. Fighting tears as I wrote this shit, I'm drowning in the hopelessness and no one really notices. I've been feeling mellow like I coach the Knicks. I've got a gift and I'm just trying to make the most of it. It's holiday season, I haven't had the chance to open it.
On your darkest day, you're brighter than a flashlight Shaun. Trying to focus my drive but the Benz has the gas light on. How can I stay positive with my account in the negative? They're sleeping on me and they've got ounces of the sedatives. This is what the sound of depression is. Lyrical artillery, I found all my weapon clips. Resisting the urge to doubt Shaun, I've lost count of how many people I can count on. The number's dwindling, they're done remembering. There's some assembling, assumption semblances. I wrote the next verse as I brung December in.
Have you ever felt like you were too much and not enough at the same time? Ever said too much and not enough in the same rhyme? I'm breaking down, it seems no one really stays around so I give people spaces now. Sometimes I want to chase them down. Depression's got me feeling alone, guess I should face it now.
New day, new month. Happy birthday to Ki. Woke up to find out Cole's dropping, Happy Birthday to me. Cole dropping, like a bad kid's chimney. My passion's pending. If you click the link, thanks for any cash you sent me. Even if it's the average Penny. I give my heart away, I've been giving art away. Like I'm friendly with Xannys I'm giving bars away.
It's Almost Christmas and I'm looking for a Union, word to Gabrielle. Today I thought I'd be starting Uber, took a tragic L. I'm feeling like a loser and I'm sad as hell. But I'm trying to keep my head up. Back to the the drawing board, I'm wondering what's next up. Sonic journey, Questlove. My only request, love. Situations I'm trying to make the best of. They're sleeping on me, I'ma give em bed bugs. I'm trying to wake the rest up. S/O to the man who's blessed us. Hate school, the devil tryna test us. Been serving food for thought, I'm getting fed up. I've been fighting depression, I've got my set up. Dreams I'm trying to set up. Trying to get a check up, the flow sick. I'm sneezing through seasons and reaching for reasons. I'm searching for a sign but couldn't reach an agreement. Head in my hands as I was leaving the leasing (office). Got a ride from Chris, he tried to help make light of it. The urge to cry, I'm fighting it. It feels like my whole life's unfit. Yearning for the moment where I can get on the mic with this.
The beauty of life, every day we get to try again. Thankful that God provides my pen. Flow sicker than vitamins. Let me know if you want to buy the Benz. Making a flip, painting a pic. I don't like this scene of my life, I'm tryna change up the script. Lyrical artillery, it's coming straight off the hip. On a mission for the cheese to be as grate as it gets. Someone may need this so I'm not afraid to say I'm depressed.
Watch as I put on a show, pull up a chair for you. If you need a fan, I will cheer for you. No words more assuring than "I'm here for you." If you're crying out for help, I'll be hearing you. If you lose control, I'll steer for you. Having trouble getting over it? I'll climb the stairs with you until we have the clearest view. Stare with you. I face my fears for you just to make it clear to you that "I'm here for you."
"Life's much easier when you have someone to help you carry the load, even if you can carry it yourself." - The little girl from the movie "Almost Christmas" I just watched with la familia.
- Swaggy T
http://cash.me/$ShaunGeddes
I want to blow my brains out to give my mind a break.
Flow sicker than how much time it takes. My canvas is my sanctuary, I guess it's time to paint.
Truthfully I don't know where to start, so I'll just let it flow from the heart. On even my bleakest days my pen can glow in the dark. I'm in need of a flame, right now I'm growing the spark. I'm bleeding and even showing the sharks. They've gotten close to the ark. I'm pleading for safety, I keep feeling angry. I know my destination so where does this take me? So seasick I'm wavy, I mean so wavy I'm seasick. The turbulence in my mind has me in danger of sinking. Consumed by my thoughts hoping I can change what I'm thinking. Normally as I write I feel my anger releasing. My head hurts, this is something I should've said first. I haven't felt alive, is this an I'd rather be dead verse? Or maybe it's the leg work, to start making a statement because nothing that I've said worked. I'm sorry but I've said worse.
But I just got the beat from Ocean so now as I speak it's flowing and I've gotten the direction so now I can keep it going.
So where was I? Wiped tears from eyes. She FaceTimed me in the dark but she could hear me cry. Dammit, I'm showing weakness and showing secrets. My soul's still seeking and I can't even control my thinking. Hoodie weather, colder evenings. The pain hurts more than my shoulders even, it seems there's no relieving. Relief pitchers, could've made this a juice line. But I'm writing in the dark, it's more a recluse rhyme. I've been spending way too much time alone. I've been seeing true colors like a xylophone. This is something you shouldn't try at home. Wrestling my demons, every lyric's a belt. Confessing all my secrets, no longer written in stealth. It's been a while since I've hidden myself. Before they even hear a beat my rhythm is felt. They say I'm different cause I don't just speak on women and wealth. Then they ask about the line that hinted killing myself. There's no telling what I'm about to tell. I'm just telling my story, so truthfully it's about myself. Jeff told me not to doubt myself. He said you know you got it, so go get it. Don't worry about what any others say or doing it any other way. They don't know, you do. One day they'll see it. And I knew he was right because I just can't keep a secret.
I'M TRYING TO SHARE MY GIFT WITH THE WHOLE WORLD. My ex switched up but consistent my old girl, there's something bout those curls.
Okay I've said too much, I be in my head too much. I've been serving food for thought and y'all been getting fed too much. I'm overwriting, I'm over writing. I want to be heard. She noticed she liked me once she fell in love with these words. Okay I've said too much, I be in my head too much. I've been serving food for thought and y'all been getting fed too much. It's the week after Thanksgiving. The picture I paint's shifting. It feels like my brain's splitting.
Turn my life into a movie, look how reel it gets. My heart goes out to anyone who can feel what's next. When you've become numb to the pain but you can feel the stress, and then it finally hits you that you're still depressed. Got rid of my skeletons, my closet's still a mess. 10 toes down, still upset. But with the pen I can still impress. I've been trying to heal and rest but I can feel the pests. Life's been bugging me, I've been missing company. Writing letters she doesn't read. Trapped in a hive of buzzing bees, wish I could say it doesn't sting. Made my heart a home and I've given out like a dozen deeds. I'm too open, I want to be through hoping. My intuition to end tuition and put an end to wishing. Bright as a television, my stories they tell a vision, my lyrics present a mission. I'm making a statement. I've got nothing but faith in my savings. It's greatness I'm chasing. This maze is amazing. This hunger is displacing complacency. This page has awakened me, this anger's awake in me. This angle is taking me to a place that's endangered me. A few have forsaken me but I'm through with the slavery. Breaking the chains and making a change, displaying my pain. Don't care much for an alias but I'm making a name. Breaking the chains and making a change, displaying my pain. I had to say it again. I've found myself in this familiar place on the ledge. I can't rest easy, not even safe in my bed. Thoughts of bodying myself, I'm not too safe in my head. If I can't live the way I want...
Ehh, won't talk about it, I'll skip to another line. I hit rock bottom on November 29th. Time stamp, it's Maiya's birthday. Admire wordplay as I write my worst ways. The last verse is one I'll write on Thursday.
The lights are on but I'm surrounded by darkness. Still I step to my canvas, I'm an artist regardless. Searching for direction, I'm not sure where to start this. I'm out here trying to spread love in a world of the heartless. I wear it on my sleeve so they can see where my heart is, I'm losing my mind cause I don't have a way to record this. Chasing dreams, I've been posted up with Olajuwon. I love the pen but I've been yearning for the microphone. So they can finally hear these writtens that I write in phone. Lately even when I'm right, I'm wrong. I tell the whole story, I even write my wrongs. I just want to record this and hear "I like your song." I'm living this life for Shaun. Putting on a show, without the lights, perform. Spitting fire, bet the mic gets warm. You've got the pen, make it do whatever you say Shaun. This verse is a new day, Happy Birthday to Jaiwon. Lyrical artillery, these pictures are spray ons. Allow me to reload this clip. Motion picture, refocus it. Fighting tears as I wrote this shit, I'm drowning in the hopelessness and no one really notices. I've been feeling mellow like I coach the Knicks. I've got a gift and I'm just trying to make the most of it. It's holiday season, I haven't had the chance to open it.
On your darkest day, you're brighter than a flashlight Shaun. Trying to focus my drive but the Benz has the gas light on. How can I stay positive with my account in the negative? They're sleeping on me and they've got ounces of the sedatives. This is what the sound of depression is. Lyrical artillery, I found all my weapon clips. Resisting the urge to doubt Shaun, I've lost count of how many people I can count on. The number's dwindling, they're done remembering. There's some assembling, assumption semblances. I wrote the next verse as I brung December in.
Have you ever felt like you were too much and not enough at the same time? Ever said too much and not enough in the same rhyme? I'm breaking down, it seems no one really stays around so I give people spaces now. Sometimes I want to chase them down. Depression's got me feeling alone, guess I should face it now.
New day, new month. Happy birthday to Ki. Woke up to find out Cole's dropping, Happy Birthday to me. Cole dropping, like a bad kid's chimney. My passion's pending. If you click the link, thanks for any cash you sent me. Even if it's the average Penny. I give my heart away, I've been giving art away. Like I'm friendly with Xannys I'm giving bars away.
It's Almost Christmas and I'm looking for a Union, word to Gabrielle. Today I thought I'd be starting Uber, took a tragic L. I'm feeling like a loser and I'm sad as hell. But I'm trying to keep my head up. Back to the the drawing board, I'm wondering what's next up. Sonic journey, Questlove. My only request, love. Situations I'm trying to make the best of. They're sleeping on me, I'ma give em bed bugs. I'm trying to wake the rest up. S/O to the man who's blessed us. Hate school, the devil tryna test us. Been serving food for thought, I'm getting fed up. I've been fighting depression, I've got my set up. Dreams I'm trying to set up. Trying to get a check up, the flow sick. I'm sneezing through seasons and reaching for reasons. I'm searching for a sign but couldn't reach an agreement. Head in my hands as I was leaving the leasing (office). Got a ride from Chris, he tried to help make light of it. The urge to cry, I'm fighting it. It feels like my whole life's unfit. Yearning for the moment where I can get on the mic with this.
The beauty of life, every day we get to try again. Thankful that God provides my pen. Flow sicker than vitamins. Let me know if you want to buy the Benz. Making a flip, painting a pic. I don't like this scene of my life, I'm tryna change up the script. Lyrical artillery, it's coming straight off the hip. On a mission for the cheese to be as grate as it gets. Someone may need this so I'm not afraid to say I'm depressed.
Watch as I put on a show, pull up a chair for you. If you need a fan, I will cheer for you. No words more assuring than "I'm here for you." If you're crying out for help, I'll be hearing you. If you lose control, I'll steer for you. Having trouble getting over it? I'll climb the stairs with you until we have the clearest view. Stare with you. I face my fears for you just to make it clear to you that "I'm here for you."
"Life's much easier when you have someone to help you carry the load, even if you can carry it yourself." - The little girl from the movie "Almost Christmas" I just watched with la familia.
- Swaggy T
http://cash.me/$ShaunGeddes
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