Ninth Day of The New Year

I need a distraction from what today is. So I'll just start rapping until the day ends.
Pictures that I illustrated
Lyrically demonstrated
Leveled up and levitated
Heavy like the pen is weighted
Rhymes so sharp, they penetrated.
Lost in bars, the kid's amazing. This heart I spill in paintings as I'm rehabilitating. Sores and scars that didn't change him. Used you as a shoulder a cry on, his were debilitating. And now I'm speaking on behalf of myself. And I know one day soon I'll see the cash and the wealth. Cause it's far more than a hobby, now I rap for my health. You probably wouldn't believe it but it actually helps. I turn my life into a motion picture as I capture myself. Trying to get my thoughts together, let me gather myself.

The 9th of January and you still ain't hearing from me. I've been fighting demons and you tried to take my spirit from me. And I don't get it cause I didn't do a thing to you. But it's clear to see that you've forgotten what I mean to you. Or maybe what I meant to you. Messages I send to you. I know that it sailed, I just miss your friendship dude. Going with the flow, doing what I'm meant to do. Ninth Day of The New Year and I ain't even mention you. That's wild to me. Surprisingly too far gone for the eye to see. Remember when my whip was bugged out, you would drive for me. When I was searching for inspiration you inspired me. In those dark parts of To Whom It's June, anytime I cried, you'd see. Very few people that I've ever shown that side of me. But I've been throwing punchlines while wrestling this pride in me. To Whom It May Concern, writing letters in my diary. Confused on what the truth was, but wouldn't say you lied to me. Bumping Hello, wondering why you didn't say goodbye to me.

I keep it real. So openly humble, you think it's arrogance. Flow so cold you feel the phlegm. Sick lines help me heal again. Ain't play college ball but lyrically, I'm All-American. I've got more credit on these rhymes than credits in school. I'm 22 years old, it's time to see my credit improve. Cause right now I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get my credit approved. I was barely treading water, now I'm dead in the pool. You knew exactly what was going on, I said it to you. To Whom It May Concern, these are letters to you. And if you've been reading them all you've seen these letters improve. And I love you for that, so much. Thank for letting me cry on you,
I don't have a shoulder.
Allow me to break it down  for you,
hold up.
This music industry sweet as
donuts
If I get into it I can
blow up
Now I'm writing and chopping the
flow up.
And I'm pacing around through the
kitchen.
And I can't wait until you can
listen.
Cause then you'll really see that I'm spitting. You know average rappers, you'll see that I'm different. The flow sick, you see the prescription. Through verses that are tweeted in pictures. The deepest descriptions, deep as the fishes. Been in the kitchen, I just washed a week's worth of dishes. Food for thought, and the meal's free. 11:41 AM, I think I'll make a grilled cheese. And my pops and I so close sometimes he's like my other brother. I'll run up on him when he comes home like "Why'd you eat my nutter butters?"
And I can never ever stress this enough, I love my mother.
I just got really happy, she brought bread and cheese. Welcome to the life of Swaggy, let him speak. He wrote in his cabin while setting sea. Right after making an EP out of 7 weeks. To Whom It's June a classic. Forgot how much I love Roaming Bars. Nautical Miles got kinda ugly, I started showing scars. The kid is wavy, no joke that's him, Noah's Ark. Some may be thinking "how many times is he gonna use that Noah bar?" And if you are, thank you so much for paying attention. And it really means I love you if your name has been mentioned. I'm done using names of those who complained, about being a part of the story. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so it probably gets gory. But is it really so bad that you're just choosing not to support me? There's gotta be something else, I don't know what I did. I tried it to make it clear that I love you, I hope that I did. I'm missing what it was cause I don't know what it is.
I lost you, you, and you. And I lost you and you again. Then I almost lost her, right before I lost them. And I didn't want to believe it but it's clear I've lost him. Then I lost 2 people in 1 person and lost it. I lost my girl and my best friend. After losing my best friend. I even lost my best friends twice over my best friend. Lost a brother  that I knew would be one of my best men. Lost a couple others cause they turned out to be slithered serpents. You can keep that $60 yo, it isn't worth it. Now I'm moving on, pay em no mind. It's really been a pretty long day in my mind. Spongebob with the burning hand, I let you observe the man. I'm probably saying way too much with these words again. The ninth day, I don't know what to do here. I only know Jalen's alive cause he tweeted happy New Year. I checked on you for weeks, you never replied. It was stressing me out but I kept it inside. No exaggeration, I was worried you died. Now I'm wondering what you were in a hurry to hide. Deeper than 6 feet, I'm feeling buried alive.

It's 9 days into the New Year. I'm wondering what to do here. Pictures I'm painting too clear. I can't do it, I'm too scared. And I'm sorry for the effect that May have on you. But you'll just be the next one to ruin it for who comes after you. Cause this don't really work for me. Hurting you is hurting me, so you've gotta understand that I would never do it purposely. I'm Michael Scott with the messages, send em urgently. My life is in orbit, I'm trying to plan it (planet) perfectly. A year's a long time. I've never had an anniversary. Losing my train of thought and just hoping that something works for me. This wordPlay is straight off the top, there's no rehearsing these. Progressing as this verse proceeds. Broke as hell, but church is free. God don't have a service fee. I'm praying as I'm searching tweets. Painting pictures personally, I hate the way this verse completes.

                                                                     -Swaggy T